Damn!! That took a lot out of me!

[trubbs]

Wishy left today and I thought I'd be happy to see her go but it was by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And now I'm in the Hells of East Texas alone. How much more fucked up can my life be? I was thisclose to getting in the car with her and leaving but I knew my sisters would be disappointed in me if I came home and that's the last thing I want. I miss them but at the same time I'm pretty sure that they are enjoying the freedom that I gave them when I left knowing that they won't have to pick up any messes that I've made. I want them to be proud of me and if i stick it out at least until May then I'll be ok cause I can go back to McDonald's for a month or so and then go to camp andthen moveonto campus when school starts. In case you haven't notuced I've thought this out so that hopefully I won't be a burden on anyone. So on to a much happier note I called Calvin and Darryl was over there playing Smackdown or something. Calvin and I did our usual flirting and what not but today I think we moved ahead in our relationship, or at least I think we did. So like I was saying,
"I'm ready to come home"
Why would you want to come back? What's here for you?"
"I ask myself that all the time." Secretly I'm thinking. You're there for me.
"I see."
"What you don't want me to come back?"
After a few moments of quiet. "It's not that I don't want you to come back it's just that... I want you to be happy and flourish."
So can you see my reason for being giggly. He loves me I know he does and we'll see what happens at Christmas time.