(no subject)
thejackalbnp: did you know amish marry their cousins and stuff?
thejackalbnp: gross!
mwah 29: eww INCEST
mwah 29: its like the amish west virginia
thejackalbnp: except worse, because it's their religion to do it
thejackalbnp: they dont even have religion in west virginia!
mwah 29: im afraid of west virginia
mwah 29: immagine being mugged by hicks
mwah 29: ewww with icky teeth?
mwah 29: youd die from their breath before they could get your money
thejackalbnp: lol
thejackalbnp: alternatively, you could point them in the direction of the nearest nascar race
mwah 29: yeah daytona
mwah 29: where I WAS
mwah 29: ::shudder::
thejackalbnp: lol are you kidding
mwah 29: ive never seen so many beer bellies in one place before
thejackalbnp: lol
thejackalbnp: have you been to an antiques auction?
thejackalbnp: didn't think so
mwah 29: whoah you had to go to one of those?
thejackalbnp: *sniff* yes
thejackalbnp: some people are scarred from their dads beating their moms. but no, my scarring memory is two hours of fat mennonites paying fifty cents for countless ancient knick-knacks at a public auction
mwah 29: thats harsh
mwah 29: sound slike you need therapy
mwah 29: im 25cents a minute if you would like
mwah 29: lol
thejackalbnp: it all started one fateful day in pennsylvania
thejackalbnp: "let's go to an auction!" my granmother says
thejackalbnp: i figured it couldnt have been too bad
thejackalbnp: oh, how i was wrong
thejackalbnp: "10 minutes", she said
thejackalbnp: LIES!
thejackalbnp: i was lied to so many times
mwah 29: okay so tell me about your mother
thejackalbnp: mother left when daddy lost his job
mwah 29: how did that affect you as a child
thejackalbnp: well you see, i was...
thejackalbnp: well..
thejackalbnp: i really needed a role model in life
mwah 29: so who did you take on as your role model
thejackalbnp: daddy was a drunk felon, mommy was gone
mwah 29: ((just let it all out chrissyy... let it flow like a river))
thejackalbnp: "new mom" went to prison
mwah 29: ::soothing noises::
mwah 29: then what did oyu do
thejackalbnp: jimmy and bob-joe were both dead before i was 12..
thejackalbnp: i had to take to a life of crime
thejackalbnp: there was no one to support the family
mwah 29: what kinds of crime did you get involved in
thejackalbnp: mostly moose theft, conspiracy, failure to appear, etc.
thejackalbnp: but those were my dark years
mwah 29: i see i see
thejackalbnp: but then, a relaztion came to me
thejackalbnp: a revelation, if you will
mwah 29: that you had to better yourse;f?
thejackalbnp: an epiphany
mwah 29: uh huh
thejackalbnp: a GOD SENT MESSAGE THAT I HAD TO
thejackalbnp signed off at 2:43:39 PM.
him and his damn dramatic exits