Love's not a competition, but I'm winning.

[tru_anqel]

I cant sleep for unknown reasons as always... I feel like a big change is coming, a drift if you will, and theres nothing I can do to change it or stop it and I really want to. I just dont understand people sometimes and I guess Ive just never really had to deal with loosing a friend like this oh wait yes I have this is the second time but as much as it hurts I wont beg like I did the last time some people just dont want you in your life and you cant change that I guess I can just say that my life was better for knowing them and hope to get the same respect from them...

at the same time I blame myself for saying this is how I am take it or dont, maybe I need to bend more to other people. Im trying to just go with the flow but this is a lonely one that I cant take. who knew going to school would be the end of me. I guess for this semester just cause my schedule is just so crazy I feel so blah like even when I have time I dont want to do anything and I love all my friends and I miss them but I never want to do what there doing which is stuff that I like to do which makes no sense. Like I always I'm waiting holding to somone who doesn't care about me. victim victim victim I know im not but when im reading this back thats what it sounds like im trying to say haha im not I just miss jade gay as it sounds she was my bestie and I dont wanna beleive that she doesn't miss me too I am so backwards I can bury my brother and I cant get over a girl that called me a cunt haha can I get that on a t-shirt? - angelface