(no subject)
zign, zign, zign... he reaches to me... calls to me... pulls at me... whispering in my ear all the sacred promises i've waited so long to hear. no warmth, here, no warmth but cold, no warmth but the blood in my veins, behind my eyes, he sees everything and nothing at all... oh god i could die here... i could live here... we could die together and i wouldn't ask for anything more but this cold, dark feeling of being thoroughly embraced in your disease, your disgusting... and it's something more than everything it is, something less, something altogether irreparable but something all the same. and the way you speak to me... it's so clear, and all at the same time it's not even words at all, it's thought, it's feeling, it's h a t e and it dwells... and i suffocate here. we a|l|l suffocate here. it's more than what you thought, isn't it? or is it everything you wanted? is it everything you hoped? who were you fooling, girl, to ask for more when you were given so much that you couldn't possibly receive. and it hurts when they breed, it hurts when you bleed, and it hurts worst of all when he hears you scream, screaming, s|c|r|e|a|m|i|n|g at him, pleading with him, oh god, oh heavenly father please make it stop... i can't take it... but he'll just peel back those gorgeous, wet, heavy black lips, his teeth hollow and translucent like the saliva that rolls down his chin in strings and spatters on the floor... he'll just stand over you and smile, that grin, grinning... grinning...
and all along you've been praying to the wrong god.
and all along you've been praying to the wrong god.