(no subject)
Croc5001 (11:05:46 PM): HEY
Croc5001 (11:05:50 PM): i caught ya
Aelix Farron (11:05:52 PM): hey.
Croc5001 (11:06:13 PM): i didnt even know you were leaving so soon
Aelix Farron (11:06:21 PM): i told you several times when i was leaving.
Croc5001 (11:06:33 PM): well that was bad so i forgot
Croc5001 (11:06:50 PM): so did you ever find your mom thursday?
Aelix Farron (11:06:54 PM): yeah.
Aelix Farron (11:07:51 PM): sorry. i've just been having a really rough week.
Croc5001 (11:08:00 PM): sorry for what?
Aelix Farron (11:08:06 PM): being so bitter and unresponsive right now.
Aelix Farron (11:08:44 PM): but then again you seem to have a difficult time deciphering emotions through the internet, so i'm not exactly sure why i'm apologizing in the first place, but hey, i'm compulsive with the "i'm sorries" which, obviously, tends to make people annoyed and frustrated.
Aelix Farron (11:08:46 PM): boy i can't win.
Croc5001 (11:08:59 PM): its no problem
Croc5001 (11:09:04 PM): highfive?
Aelix Farron (11:09:34 PM): i'd prefer a bullet in the head, but if i said that, i'd sound all retarded and full of teen-angst, so disreguard the fact that i even wrote that.
Aelix Farron (11:09:49 PM): wow. i just wrote that entire long sentence instead of simply pressing the 'delete' key and saying 'lol.'
Aelix Farron (11:09:50 PM): go me.
Aelix Farron (11:09:58 PM): i earn ANOTHER award for most unintelligent girl ever.
Croc5001 (11:10:15 PM): well im asking fora highfive, we will call it even if you just give me one
Aelix Farron (11:10:21 PM): okay then.
Aelix Farron (11:10:29 PM): get your ass over here and give me the fucking high five, then.
Aelix Farron (11:10:54 PM): argh, man, i wish you could go.
Croc5001 (11:10:55 PM): how about a online highfiver
Aelix Farron (11:11:02 PM): it always sucks for me going to the beach because i have nobody to hang out with.
Aelix Farron (11:11:08 PM): all my sisters have cousins their age.
Aelix Farron (11:11:20 PM): oh well, whine whine whine, that's all i ever do. "omg liek i have no friendz lawl"
Croc5001 (11:11:28 PM): well more than likely if your momma was cool with it i could go, but i dont wanna call off work fora week
Aelix Farron (11:11:42 PM): my mom was the one who INVITED you to come.
Aelix Farron (11:11:46 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:11:58 PM): she was the one nagging at me to find a way around the fact that you had to go to work.
Aelix Farron (11:11:59 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:12:09 PM): she was like, oh he can stay in our room, there's extra beds
Croc5001 (11:12:32 PM): our room?
Aelix Farron (11:12:37 PM): yeah
Aelix Farron (11:12:41 PM): we rent like a ton of hotel rooms
Aelix Farron (11:12:42 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:12:46 PM): our room as in
Aelix Farron (11:12:51 PM): me kale kori mom and aunt dot
Aelix Farron (11:12:58 PM): there's three beds and they're all pretty big
Aelix Farron (11:13:01 PM): plenty of room
Aelix Farron (11:13:04 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:13:07 PM): crazy
Croc5001 (11:13:19 PM): i think its funny how your trying to almost sell it to me
Croc5001 (11:13:24 PM): haha
Aelix Farron (11:13:27 PM): yeah. i'm desperate for you to go.
Aelix Farron (11:13:27 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:13:46 PM): then again i'm a loser like that.
Aelix Farron (11:13:48 PM): so yeah.
Aelix Farron (11:13:48 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:14:03 PM): oh yeah, sorry i called twice today
Aelix Farron (11:14:06 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:14:10 PM): i tried to get ahold of you early and late
Aelix Farron (11:14:15 PM): but you weren't home both times
Aelix Farron (11:14:15 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:14:37 PM): yeah i went and played dnd all day
Aelix Farron (11:14:40 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:14:53 PM): we might start playing online when our dm goes to calafronia
Aelix Farron (11:15:32 PM): ugh
Aelix Farron (11:15:36 PM): usually i look forward to this trip
Aelix Farron (11:15:41 PM): but in all reality i fucking hate the beach
Aelix Farron (11:15:41 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:15:50 PM): i don't like sun, i don't like heat, i don't like sand, and i'm terrified of the ocean
Aelix Farron (11:15:54 PM): but i always go and have a blast anyway
Aelix Farron (11:16:00 PM): but this year i'm just feeling so insecure about NOTHING
Croc5001 (11:16:05 PM): did you read my email i sent ya
Aelix Farron (11:16:18 PM): i'm worried about what i'm going to look like in the bathing suit, i'm worried about not having anybody to talk to the whole time i'm there
Aelix Farron (11:16:19 PM): yeah
Aelix Farron (11:16:27 PM): i always read your e-mails, silly
Croc5001 (11:16:30 PM): i liked the sharky comment
Aelix Farron (11:16:39 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:16:40 PM): yes
Aelix Farron (11:16:41 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:18:04 PM): i would personally like to see you ina bathing suit
Aelix Farron (11:18:13 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:18:15 PM): then come with us
Aelix Farron (11:18:16 PM): >:p
Aelix Farron (11:18:17 PM): for like
Aelix Farron (11:18:19 PM): HALF the week
Aelix Farron (11:18:22 PM): three days??
Aelix Farron (11:18:26 PM): *whine whine whine*
Aelix Farron (11:18:26 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:19:02 PM): i cant man
Aelix Farron (11:19:19 PM): ah i figured i'd beg anyway
Aelix Farron (11:19:20 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:19:51 PM): lol were you anywhere near harmony road today?
Aelix Farron (11:20:02 PM): kori and kale thought they saw you when we were stopped at a light
Croc5001 (11:20:55 PM): well if it makes you feel better i find it very hot when chicks beg for stuff. but the nagain that might just be the man in me getting out again. ....i wasent driving my car barely at all today, so i dont think it was me
Aelix Farron (11:21:06 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:21:15 PM): plzplzplz come to the beach stevie steve
Croc5001 (11:22:08 PM): sorry cant help ya
Aelix Farron (11:22:17 PM): we would have sex on the beach
Aelix Farron (11:22:19 PM): :p
Croc5001 (11:27:14 PM): and thats why i cant take off another
Aelix Farron (11:27:28 PM): oh please
Aelix Farron (11:27:29 PM): two days
Aelix Farron (11:27:32 PM): OMG DEATHS?!!?!?
Aelix Farron (11:27:33 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:27:42 PM): well come over right now then.
Aelix Farron (11:27:44 PM): >:o
Croc5001 (11:27:45 PM): ?
Aelix Farron (11:27:46 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:27:48 PM): sorry
Aelix Farron (11:27:52 PM): retarded internet talk
Aelix Farron (11:27:53 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:28:11 PM): im not coming over your house at 1130. your mom would freak and mt mom would
Aelix Farron (11:28:14 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:28:16 PM): my mom wouldn't
Aelix Farron (11:28:21 PM): they're up making tuna fish sandwiches
Aelix Farron (11:28:23 PM): it's tradition
Aelix Farron (11:28:24 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:28:37 PM): they'll be up for another hour or so, easy
Croc5001 (11:28:39 PM): when she saw what i would do to you she would
Croc5001 (11:28:42 PM): OOOOHHHHH
Aelix Farron (11:28:48 PM): LOL
Aelix Farron (11:28:50 PM): rawr.
Aelix Farron (11:28:51 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:30:16 PM): RAWR INDEED
Aelix Farron (11:30:41 PM): PLZPLZPLZ COME OVER
Aelix Farron (11:30:43 PM): ;_;;;;;;
Croc5001 (11:31:15 PM): no way, im sorry
Aelix Farron (11:31:21 PM): psh
Aelix Farron (11:31:30 PM): you're really good at going the extra mile for your girlfriend, aren't you
Aelix Farron (11:31:36 PM): COME TO THE BEACH WITH ME STEVIE STEVE, PLZ PLZ PLZ
Aelix Farron (11:31:40 PM): "nope, sorry"
Aelix Farron (11:31:47 PM): COME OVER TO MY HOUSE STEVIE STEVE, PLZ PLZ PLZ
Aelix Farron (11:31:52 PM): "nope, sorry"
Aelix Farron (11:31:53 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:32:23 PM): whoa, wait girlfriend?
Aelix Farron (11:33:11 PM): i'm not exactly sure what you want me to say to that.
Croc5001 (11:33:31 PM): i dont remember that
Croc5001 (11:33:52 PM): but im cool with it
Aelix Farron (11:33:58 PM): you're making me all nervous now.
Aelix Farron (11:34:27 PM): we had a big talk about it and you were even asking me if you had to act any different around my family and things.
Croc5001 (11:34:47 PM): yeah, like how long was that
Aelix Farron (11:34:54 PM): what?
Croc5001 (11:35:01 PM): how long ago was that
Aelix Farron (11:35:02 PM): how long ago
Aelix Farron (11:35:03 PM): oh
Aelix Farron (11:35:06 PM): i'm not sure
Aelix Farron (11:35:11 PM): like, a week and a half?
Croc5001 (11:35:30 PM): nah dude, i dont think so
Croc5001 (11:35:44 PM): i dont wanna be mean but i dont remember
Croc5001 (11:35:53 PM): and im not angry or nothing either
Aelix Farron (11:36:05 PM): well maybe i'm just crazy.
Aelix Farron (11:36:23 PM): i... don't know but i'm feeling reeeeeeeeally awkward and stupid right now.
Croc5001 (11:36:35 PM): aww, dont be
Croc5001 (11:37:26 PM): wow sorry
Aelix Farron (11:38:19 PM): i need to chill. sorry. i don't know why i'm freaking out.
Aelix Farron (11:38:21 PM): i'm retarded.
Croc5001 (11:38:50 PM): ok yeah t was josh i just told him and he told me it was him
Croc5001 (11:39:06 PM): two wednsedays ago
Aelix Farron (11:39:07 PM): what?
Croc5001 (11:39:12 PM): he got on my name
Croc5001 (11:39:23 PM): wow whatta dick
Croc5001 (11:39:29 PM): and i knew he did too
Croc5001 (11:39:43 PM): butr i didnt know he talked to anyone
Croc5001 (11:39:47 PM): fuck
Croc5001 (11:39:49 PM): im sorry
Aelix Farron (11:39:59 PM): no. it's okay.
Aelix Farron (11:40:10 PM): sorry. just... ow.
Croc5001 (11:40:12 PM): but now we date
Aelix Farron (11:40:14 PM): i'm feeling really stupid right now.
Aelix Farron (11:40:28 PM): ah man. i need chocolate or something.
Croc5001 (11:40:31 PM): no please i demand you dont because that was fucked up
Croc5001 (11:40:40 PM): im sorry
Croc5001 (11:40:44 PM): im sososo srory
Aelix Farron (11:40:55 PM): it's okay. i'm just being retarded.
Croc5001 (11:41:13 PM): but hey atleast he got us dating
Croc5001 (11:41:41 PM): but im still gonna have to break up with you soon for college
Aelix Farron (11:41:51 PM): i know.
Aelix Farron (11:42:01 PM): you never struck me as one of those people who could hold a good relationship over a long distance.
Aelix Farron (11:42:09 PM): not trying to sound negative.
Aelix Farron (11:42:21 PM): plus... well hey, it's ME we're talking about.
Aelix Farron (11:42:23 PM): hahahaha
Aelix Farron (11:42:25 PM): wow i'm being sooooo dumb
Croc5001 (11:42:44 PM): no your not
Aelix Farron (11:42:50 PM): hm. this is another one of those KIRSTEN SHUT THE FUCK UP moments.
Croc5001 (11:43:02 PM): no its not, stop saying that
Aelix Farron (11:43:08 PM): sorry.
Aelix Farron (11:43:20 PM): wow. very very insecure right now.
Aelix Farron (11:43:22 PM): i hate that.
Aelix Farron (11:43:23 PM): i'm sorry.
Aelix Farron (11:43:57 PM): you know, if my STUPID DAD hadn't gone and ROBBED A FUCKING BANK and pretty much destroyed all evidence of my STABLE FAMILY LIFE, well hey, maybe i wouldn't be a retarded insecure stupid whiney bitch who is never happy and requires medicine to put her life back together
Aelix Farron (11:43:58 PM): but no.
Aelix Farron (11:44:13 PM): i'm that way.
Croc5001 (11:44:15 PM): well arent you offf it?
Aelix Farron (11:44:19 PM): yeah. now i am.
Aelix Farron (11:44:24 PM): but i hold that against me.
Croc5001 (11:44:31 PM): how?
Aelix Farron (11:44:33 PM): because i'm stupid and i am very angry at everything i have done this past year of my life.
Aelix Farron (11:44:39 PM): i shouldn't have done that in the first place.
Croc5001 (11:44:39 PM): you wnated to stop so you did
Aelix Farron (11:44:45 PM): yeah. so i guess that's good.
Croc5001 (11:44:47 PM): it wasent your choiuce
Aelix Farron (11:44:49 PM): at least i have some brain matter left.
Aelix Farron (11:44:54 PM): as difficult as that is to believe
Aelix Farron (11:44:55 PM): oh my fucking god
Aelix Farron (11:45:01 PM): LISTEN TO ME BITCH ON AND ON AND ON
Aelix Farron (11:45:11 PM): i am so stupid. why am i whining. THERE IS NOTHING TO WHINE ABOUT.
Aelix Farron (11:45:19 PM): i'm sorry. i keep saying the stupidest shit and it sounds like i'm fishing for pity
Aelix Farron (11:45:24 PM): i'm just kind of a wreck right now
Aelix Farron (11:45:25 PM): bad week
Aelix Farron (11:45:30 PM): just... jittery. i guess. i don't know.
Aelix Farron (11:45:32 PM): wow i'm being stupid.
Aelix Farron (11:45:35 PM): sorry. i'm shutting up now.
Aelix Farron (11:45:35 PM): sorry.
Croc5001 (11:45:46 PM): what day are you getting back ?
Aelix Farron (11:45:50 PM): sunday.
Croc5001 (11:45:57 PM): mornign or nite?
Aelix Farron (11:46:03 PM): don't know.
Aelix Farron (11:46:18 PM): GOD i don't want to go
Aelix Farron (11:46:20 PM): this is so stupid
Aelix Farron (11:46:24 PM): i just want to like
Aelix Farron (11:46:27 PM): crawl into a corner
Aelix Farron (11:46:29 PM): and just rot there
Aelix Farron (11:46:32 PM): for a loooooooong long time
Croc5001 (11:46:34 PM): well then im gona come over and be with ya whenever
Croc5001 (11:48:33 PM): youll get better by the end of the week
Aelix Farron (11:48:41 PM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (11:48:45 PM): i should have seen this coming earlier this week
Aelix Farron (11:48:50 PM): just this downward spiral of nothing
Aelix Farron (11:48:52 PM): so now i'm depressed
Croc5001 (11:48:53 PM): what you mean?
Aelix Farron (11:48:58 PM): WHY don't i EVER stop it before it gets to this point???
Aelix Farron (11:49:01 PM): i just let it slide
Aelix Farron (11:49:07 PM): and i'm like, no kirsten you're okay there's nothing to be depressed about
Aelix Farron (11:49:12 PM): and then the littlest thing sets me off
Croc5001 (11:49:16 PM): let what slide?
Aelix Farron (11:49:17 PM): and i'm fucking crazy right now
Aelix Farron (11:49:29 PM): just that baaaaaad bad feeling that everything sucks all of a sudden
Aelix Farron (11:49:33 PM): it's when i start thinking about my dad
Aelix Farron (11:49:36 PM): i started writing him a letter
Aelix Farron (11:49:38 PM): and i couldn't finish it
Croc5001 (11:49:50 PM): why not?
Aelix Farron (11:50:06 PM): because i started crying like the whiney little bitch i am
Aelix Farron (11:50:09 PM): so now it's sitting on my desk
Aelix Farron (11:50:11 PM): my god i'm stupid
Aelix Farron (11:50:14 PM): i cry too much
Aelix Farron (11:50:16 PM): over EVERYTHING
Aelix Farron (11:50:19 PM): i can't stop thinking about my friends
Aelix Farron (11:50:25 PM): i can't stop thinking about how lonely i am
Aelix Farron (11:50:29 PM): and then it just gets worse and worse and worse
Croc5001 (11:50:46 PM): well thats
Croc5001 (11:50:49 PM): no good
Aelix Farron (11:50:50 PM): and i just bring myself down and call myself names and go on and on about how nobody will ever love me and i'm going to die all alone somewhere because there will ALWAYS be someone better than me, ALWAYS
Croc5001 (11:51:11 PM): well we all die alone
Croc5001 (11:51:18 PM): unless your ina plane crash
Aelix Farron (11:51:30 PM): that's not what i mean.
Croc5001 (11:51:31 PM): and there will always be someone better than everyone
Aelix Farron (11:51:37 PM): well nobody will ever settle for ME
Croc5001 (11:51:39 PM): and that person has someone better then them
Aelix Farron (11:51:41 PM): that's what i'm saying
Croc5001 (11:51:46 PM): and that one has one thats better
Croc5001 (11:51:49 PM): and so does that one
Aelix Farron (11:51:59 PM): i'm too stupid, too needy, and it's not like i'm some hot chick that can get any boy she wants
Aelix Farron (11:52:02 PM): it doesn't work like that for me
Aelix Farron (11:52:10 PM): plus i'm the weird girl, the one that draws and plays videogames
Croc5001 (11:52:22 PM): but thats rockingly7 cool
Aelix Farron (11:52:28 PM): no it isn't
Aelix Farron (11:52:32 PM): who the fuck CARES that i can do these things
Aelix Farron (11:52:34 PM): nobody cares
Aelix Farron (11:52:38 PM): it's just stupid random stuff that has no purpose
Aelix Farron (11:52:42 PM): just like everything else i do
Aelix Farron (11:52:44 PM): oh. my. god.
Aelix Farron (11:52:47 PM): WHAT AM I SAYING
Aelix Farron (11:52:48 PM): SHUT ME UP
Croc5001 (11:52:50 PM): i like videogames
Aelix Farron (11:52:51 PM): okay i am SO SORRY
Aelix Farron (11:53:01 PM): i'm going into this big rant about how everyone hates me and life sucks
Aelix Farron (11:53:05 PM): that is so teen-angst drama
Aelix Farron (11:53:07 PM): i need to just like
Aelix Farron (11:53:13 PM): go write that down in my journal or something
Aelix Farron (11:53:16 PM): not spew shit at you
Croc5001 (11:53:34 PM): wow thats kinda a gross metaphor
Aelix Farron (11:53:40 PM): hahaha
Aelix Farron (11:53:45 PM): yeah.
Aelix Farron (11:55:01 PM): wow. wow. i need to chill.
Aelix Farron (11:55:26 PM): i um yeah
Aelix Farron (11:55:28 PM): i'm being stupid
Aelix Farron (11:55:29 PM): okay
Aelix Farron (11:55:32 PM): why am i STILL talking
Aelix Farron (11:55:43 PM): i need to go like bash my head on the wall or something equally STUPID
Croc5001 (11:55:44 PM): because i like talking t oyou
Aelix Farron (11:56:11 PM): ah okay wonderful, kirsten, another bunch of pity-me crap that i'm sure EVERYONE wants to hear because POOR YOU.
Aelix Farron (11:56:16 PM): whatever, my god, i am so stupid
Aelix Farron (11:56:19 PM): ANYWAY.
Aelix Farron (11:56:43 PM): wow yeah i make such a great impression.
Aelix Farron (11:56:49 PM): one little thing goes wrong and i flip out over nothing.
Aelix Farron (11:56:56 PM): i'm such a great person, aren't i.
Aelix Farron (11:57:26 PM): sorry.
Croc5001 (11:57:26 PM): i think you are
Aelix Farron (11:57:39 PM): well my god all this week i've been feeling so awful
Aelix Farron (11:57:47 PM): i kept wondering why i wasn't being made any kind of priority in your life
Aelix Farron (11:58:02 PM): i figured i'd be something a little more interesting than a friend because oh yay now i'm actually you're girlfriend isn't that so cool
Aelix Farron (11:58:06 PM): and now it all makes sense
Aelix Farron (11:58:07 PM): but i feel so STUPID
Croc5001 (11:58:58 PM): well if it makes you feel better your pretty higih up there except work and sleep are more important and thats alot of what ive been doing
Aelix Farron (11:59:42 PM): *your
Aelix Farron (11:59:46 PM): not you're
Aelix Farron (11:59:51 PM): wow. i'm making typos. what in the hell.
Aelix Farron (12:02:12 AM): well thank you
Aelix Farron (12:02:18 AM): that makes me feel a lot better
Aelix Farron (12:02:22 AM): i just need to calm down
Aelix Farron (12:02:23 AM): or something
Aelix Farron (12:03:09 AM): i'm sorry... i'm totally overreacting to everything
Croc5001 (12:03:38 AM): its cool im used to it
Aelix Farron (12:03:44 AM): :-\.
Aelix Farron (12:03:49 AM): from me?
Croc5001 (12:04:26 AM): multiple
Croc5001 (12:05:08 AM): my aunt was over here crying today because her daughter didnt say i love you
Aelix Farron (12:05:13 AM): ah.
Aelix Farron (12:05:28 AM): well i overreact to things when i'm depressed
Aelix Farron (12:05:34 AM): which is stupid because i SHOULDN'T be depressed
Aelix Farron (12:05:37 AM): i'm just so scared right now
Aelix Farron (12:05:40 AM): and i have no idea why
Aelix Farron (12:09:25 AM): do you think you could come up on like, saturday?
Croc5001 (12:09:40 AM): no cause i dont know where the place is
Aelix Farron (12:10:08 AM): sorry, i'm just trying to find SOME way around it
Aelix Farron (12:10:09 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:10:12 AM): i'm annoying like that
Aelix Farron (12:10:23 AM): wow. i hate this.
Aelix Farron (12:10:35 AM): i don't even want to TALK about this, because i feel like a pity whore
Croc5001 (12:10:44 AM): hahaha
Aelix Farron (12:10:45 AM): but it is so fucking hard not to take up old habits.
Aelix Farron (12:10:55 AM): like i am literally shaking right now because i'm not allowing myself to do it
Aelix Farron (12:10:57 AM): and that is STUPID
Aelix Farron (12:14:37 AM): wait
Aelix Farron (12:14:42 AM): are you doing anything tomorrow?
Aelix Farron (12:14:53 AM): i'm sure you've already got plans, right? :-\
Croc5001 (12:14:54 AM): going to my fathers
Aelix Farron (12:14:58 AM): yeahh
Aelix Farron (12:15:00 AM): mmkay
Aelix Farron (12:15:03 AM): i'll stop now.
Aelix Farron (12:15:05 AM): lol
Croc5001 (12:15:08 AM): what time are you laving tommorrow?
Aelix Farron (12:15:11 AM): early
Croc5001 (12:15:30 AM): wel yeah if im up now i aint waking up around 10iush
Aelix Farron (12:15:32 AM): AH and we're having mack's pizza the first night too
Aelix Farron (12:15:40 AM): well wait
Aelix Farron (12:15:43 AM): what are you saying
Croc5001 (12:16:04 AM): im not gonna be even up before you leave
Aelix Farron (12:16:24 AM): well we head up to my baci's house at like, ten-thirty, eleven
Aelix Farron (12:16:31 AM): and we usually don't leave until around twelve or one
Aelix Farron (12:20:50 AM): is this one of those awkward silences, one of those "i'm thinking about it" silences, or one of those "GOD there is no way in hell i'm going to the beach with this stupid bitch so i need to think up a way out of it" silences
Aelix Farron (12:20:50 AM): lol
Croc5001 (12:21:25 AM): im reading some dnd stuff actually
Aelix Farron (12:21:30 AM): oh
Aelix Farron (12:21:30 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:21:34 AM): so none of the above
Aelix Farron (12:21:35 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:23:20 AM): you're leaving me hanging here
Aelix Farron (12:23:20 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:23:46 AM): sorry, i just reeeeeeeeeeally reeeeeeeeally wish you could go so i'm harassing you about it
Aelix Farron (12:23:57 AM): i should probably get away from the computer before i make you hate me
Croc5001 (12:24:10 AM): nah wont hjappen
Aelix Farron (12:24:20 AM): lol
Croc5001 (12:24:21 AM): AD&D Top-Ten Lists
Croc5001 (12:24:27 AM): you should read that
Croc5001 (12:24:44 AM): its funny
Aelix Farron (12:24:55 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:25:03 AM): wait
Aelix Farron (12:25:13 AM): were you saying "nah won't happen" to that you won't go, or that you'll end up hating me
Croc5001 (12:26:00 AM): both
Aelix Farron (12:26:07 AM): oh
Aelix Farron (12:26:12 AM): well then quit making it seem like you CAN go
Aelix Farron (12:26:22 AM): you're driving me crazy over here thinking there's a chance that you could go with me tomorrow
Aelix Farron (12:26:23 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:33:29 AM): so, um, there is no way you WILL go tomorrow?
Croc5001 (12:33:53 AM): nope
Aelix Farron (12:35:41 AM): sorry.
Aelix Farron (12:37:07 AM): you're not upset with me, are you?
Croc5001 (12:37:14 AM): not at all
Aelix Farron (12:37:27 AM): okay... i just get really paranoid that i annoy the fuck out of you
Aelix Farron (12:37:47 AM): because i'm always nagging to spend time with you and have you go places with me
Croc5001 (12:38:07 AM): no problem
Aelix Farron (12:40:54 AM): wow. this week has really, really sucked.
Aelix Farron (12:41:12 AM): and now all my stupid little brain wants to do is break down somewhere and cry about it.
Aelix Farron (12:41:14 AM): how. stupid. is. that.
Aelix Farron (12:41:36 AM): i need to shut up.
Aelix Farron (12:41:40 AM): sorry. i'm talking way too much.
Aelix Farron (12:41:44 AM): and everything i say comes out wrong.
Aelix Farron (12:49:55 AM): um... i'm going to try one more time. what if we gave you directions for saturday?
Aelix Farron (12:50:12 AM): if you don't want to go, just tell me, i'm sorry if i have to keep making you pull up excuses not to go
Aelix Farron (12:50:14 AM): i don't mean to be like that
Croc5001 (12:51:28 AM): well i havent made ex uses, youve never even asked if i wanted to, youve just been like how about this and i said no and why
Aelix Farron (12:51:42 AM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (12:51:56 AM): i just assumed if you didn't want to go, you'd say so
Aelix Farron (12:52:16 AM): sorry, i'm not saying that OMG STOP MAKING EXCUSES
Aelix Farron (12:52:22 AM): wow
Aelix Farron (12:52:29 AM): see what i mean about everything i say coming out wrong
Aelix Farron (12:52:36 AM): i wasn't trying to insinuate that you were making excuses just not to go
Croc5001 (12:52:54 AM): yeah thats coolo
Aelix Farron (12:53:07 AM): no, see, it's not okay
Aelix Farron (12:53:11 AM): whenever i ask you if something i do annoys you
Aelix Farron (12:53:15 AM): you're always just like
Aelix Farron (12:53:17 AM): no problem
Aelix Farron (12:53:23 AM): you never deny that it annoys you
Aelix Farron (12:53:26 AM): you just blow it off
Aelix Farron (12:53:33 AM): so i never know if what i'm doing is downright frustrating to you or not
Croc5001 (12:54:40 AM): no your not annoying
Aelix Farron (12:55:30 AM): i'm sorry i'm just so nervous about talking to you most of the time
Aelix Farron (12:55:37 AM): i never know what i keep coming off as
Aelix Farron (12:57:39 AM): i WANT to be more open with you but i'm just
Aelix Farron (12:57:42 AM): really paranoid
Croc5001 (1:00:00 AM): crazy
Aelix Farron (1:00:07 AM): what?
Croc5001 (1:01:06 AM): i dunno
Aelix Farron (1:04:05 AM): i really don't think you even have a clue how i feel about you, do you
Aelix Farron (1:04:09 AM): i hardly tell you anything at all
Aelix Farron (1:04:12 AM): not that it matters
Aelix Farron (1:04:14 AM): it won't mean anything
Croc5001 (1:04:29 AM): yeah youve told me before
Aelix Farron (1:04:42 AM): i don't think you get it though.
Aelix Farron (1:04:46 AM): i don't think you really understand
Aelix Farron (1:06:00 AM): look, steve, i feel like i'm really, really annoying you, and i feel like we got hooked up against your will, and now i feel like everything i'm saying is backfiring on me
Aelix Farron (1:06:14 AM): i am just having a really really bad day and everything i'm saying is making it worse and i have no idea what to do
Croc5001 (1:07:18 AM): just calm down
Aelix Farron (1:09:06 AM): i can't. i really just can't.
Aelix Farron (1:09:28 AM): i need to go pack
Aelix Farron (1:09:34 AM): so be right back
Aelix Farron (1:09:36 AM): or whatever
Aelix Farron (1:09:39 AM): god i'm such a wreck
Croc5001 (1:09:39 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:09:41 AM): i'm so sorry
Croc5001 (1:10:02 AM): dont be
Aelix Farron (1:10:09 AM): well i AM
Aelix Farron (1:10:14 AM): i don't know WHAT ELSE TO SAY
Aelix Farron (1:10:17 AM): i just don't know
Croc5001 (1:10:21 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:10:24 AM): i have no idea what the fuck i've said this entire conversation
Aelix Farron (1:10:28 AM): i can't even read the screen right now
Aelix Farron (1:10:31 AM): i'm basically typing blind
Aelix Farron (1:10:35 AM): wow who cares
Aelix Farron (1:10:41 AM): ok. ok. it's one in the morning.
Croc5001 (1:10:49 AM): itsa good thing your good at typing then
Croc5001 (1:22:06 AM): so look, i dont want to be your boyfriend and ive already told you the reasons why. and now your friends are getting on my dick about it and i havent been pissed or hating you at all, but now i think its stupid how they are fucking fucking trying to talk to me like they know how i think or anything.
Aelix Farron (1:22:19 AM): i'm sorry
Croc5001 (1:22:30 AM): kirsten i dont hate you not at all. and im sorry for what josh did but thats not my fault
Croc5001 (1:22:34 AM): take it up with him
Aelix Farron (1:22:35 AM): i know it isn't
Aelix Farron (1:22:37 AM): it's my fault
Aelix Farron (1:22:39 AM): this is all my fault
Aelix Farron (1:22:41 AM): i'm sorry
Croc5001 (1:23:17 AM): its not your fault
Aelix Farron (1:23:22 AM): YES IT FUCKING IS
Aelix Farron (1:23:23 AM): OKAY
Aelix Farron (1:23:25 AM): EVERYTHING I DO
Aelix Farron (1:23:26 AM): IS MY FUCKING FAULT
Aelix Farron (1:23:41 AM): everything i'm saying here is WRONG
Aelix Farron (1:24:01 AM): i didn't tell bob to talk to you
Aelix Farron (1:24:03 AM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (1:24:17 AM): i don't CARE that you're leaving
Aelix Farron (1:24:19 AM): do you understand me?
Aelix Farron (1:24:24 AM): that ISN'T an issue with me
Aelix Farron (1:24:30 AM): but i know you have this image of me
Aelix Farron (1:24:35 AM): and it's all wrong
Aelix Farron (1:24:38 AM): everything is fucking wrong
Aelix Farron (1:24:41 AM): but let me tell you something steve
Aelix Farron (1:25:03 AM): no you know what
Aelix Farron (1:25:04 AM): never mind
Aelix Farron (1:25:09 AM): there is no point in telling you
Croc5001 (1:25:12 AM): ok fine
Aelix Farron (1:25:21 AM): no you don't understand, steve
Aelix Farron (1:25:25 AM): this is so wrong
Aelix Farron (1:25:27 AM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (1:25:50 AM): steve, i love you. and i know that means absolutely NOTHING to you, in any way, shape, or form.
Aelix Farron (1:26:04 AM): i don't use that word. ever.
Aelix Farron (1:26:09 AM): because it is tossed around so lightly now.
Aelix Farron (1:26:25 AM): and i don't even want to TELL you these things because you're just going to blow me off as some other stupid young girl who doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about
Aelix Farron (1:26:50 AM): but goddamnit, steve, despite how stupid i've been acting around you, and despite all the different ways i've been emotionally
Aelix Farron (1:26:57 AM): to me you are the only person in the universe that matters
Aelix Farron (1:27:00 AM): and i KNOW you didn't want that
Aelix Farron (1:27:09 AM): this is why it's my fault
Aelix Farron (1:27:16 AM): because you talked to some girl you thought was cute and asked her to the movies
Aelix Farron (1:27:18 AM): and you got ME
Aelix Farron (1:27:22 AM): ME. of ALL PEOPLE
Aelix Farron (1:27:32 AM): i would WAIT an ETERNITY for you
Aelix Farron (1:27:48 AM): you have no fucking idea how much it hurts me to know that i am just this stupid, stupid girl to you
Croc5001 (1:27:48 AM): youll get over it
Aelix Farron (1:28:01 AM): why doesn't it mean anything to you?
Aelix Farron (1:28:03 AM): do you get this all the time?
Aelix Farron (1:28:07 AM): am i just one of many?
Croc5001 (1:28:11 AM): no
Croc5001 (1:28:39 AM): and whatever jimmy k says dont listen
Aelix Farron (1:28:47 AM): WHY
Aelix Farron (1:28:49 AM): WHY NOT
Aelix Farron (1:29:02 AM): i pour my heart out to you and you DON'T CARE
Aelix Farron (1:29:03 AM): you DON'T RESPOND
Aelix Farron (1:29:07 AM): you NEVER come to me for ANYTHING
Croc5001 (1:29:25 AM): thats cause i dont need anything
Aelix Farron (1:29:38 AM): but i WANT you to need me
Aelix Farron (1:29:42 AM): i WANT to be someone SPECIAL to you
Aelix Farron (1:29:45 AM): because you are SO SPECIAL to ME
Aelix Farron (1:29:48 AM): but it means NOTHING
Aelix Farron (1:30:00 AM): it means NOTHING that i would wait five billion years for you and not care about another soul in the world
Aelix Farron (1:30:05 AM): because i'm just a stupid girl
Aelix Farron (1:30:10 AM): who has no idea what the fuck she's talking about
Aelix Farron (1:30:19 AM): and you'll find some other hot girl who's better and doesn't have all my stupid problems
Aelix Farron (1:30:23 AM): and you'll get on with your life
Croc5001 (1:31:23 AM): well watch this, ill jsut get over it now.
Aelix Farron (1:32:22 AM): why does it have to be this way
Croc5001 (1:32:36 AM): because your not gonna have it any other wqay
Aelix Farron (1:32:48 AM): elaborate.
Croc5001 (1:33:09 AM): because this is the end im ending our reletionship
Aelix Farron (1:33:18 AM): WHAT relationship???
Aelix Farron (1:33:23 AM): THIS is what i'm talking about
Aelix Farron (1:33:29 AM): THERE WAS NO RELATIONSHIP
Aelix Farron (1:33:37 AM): you NEVER wanted anything to do with me
Aelix Farron (1:33:49 AM): you just fucked around with how i felt about you because i'm stupid and easily manipulated
Croc5001 (1:34:04 AM): yep thats right im a horrible guy
Aelix Farron (1:34:07 AM): NO
Aelix Farron (1:34:15 AM): NO see you're just going to take everything i say the wrong way
Aelix Farron (1:34:18 AM): you're going to try and make me hate you
Aelix Farron (1:34:22 AM): so it's easier for you to get over it
Aelix Farron (1:34:33 AM): steve, you could shoot me
Aelix Farron (1:34:38 AM): and i would still forgive you
Croc5001 (1:34:40 AM): im not the one that has to get over anything
Croc5001 (1:34:45 AM): I DONT FEEL ANYTHING EVER
Aelix Farron (1:34:45 AM): obviously.
Croc5001 (1:34:52 AM): i dont care if you believe it or not
Aelix Farron (1:34:54 AM): that's not true.
Aelix Farron (1:34:58 AM): look steve
Croc5001 (1:34:58 AM): im not happy im not sad
Aelix Farron (1:35:00 AM): you weren't always that way
Croc5001 (1:35:11 AM): anger stays in me for about 3 seconds before it fades
Croc5001 (1:35:17 AM): and your right i wasent
Croc5001 (1:35:20 AM): but now i am
Aelix Farron (1:35:22 AM): why
Aelix Farron (1:35:24 AM): you never told me why
Croc5001 (1:35:26 AM): and its bliss
Croc5001 (1:36:08 AM): becuase i can, thats why
Aelix Farron (1:36:12 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:36:14 AM): people don't just do that
Aelix Farron (1:36:17 AM): you're INTELLIGENT, steve
Aelix Farron (1:36:26 AM): you know that was the FIRST thing i noticed about you when you FIRST talked to me
Aelix Farron (1:36:29 AM): in the auditorium
Aelix Farron (1:36:34 AM): when i didn't even KNOW you
Aelix Farron (1:36:38 AM): when you weren't even specifically talking to ME
Aelix Farron (1:36:45 AM): i just sat there and kept thinking how intelligent your eyes were
Croc5001 (1:36:47 AM): i suckered you in by talking about something i knew was gonna interest you
Aelix Farron (1:37:01 AM): WHY?
Aelix Farron (1:37:07 AM): i can't figure out what your fucking MOTIVE was behind all this
Croc5001 (1:37:10 AM): becuase im a horrible person
Aelix Farron (1:37:12 AM): no
Croc5001 (1:37:17 AM): i like seeing people uupset
Aelix Farron (1:37:19 AM): you AREN'T a horrible person
Aelix Farron (1:37:19 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:37:21 AM): that isn't true
Croc5001 (1:37:23 AM): it puts me in a higher place
Aelix Farron (1:37:25 AM): if that's true
Aelix Farron (1:37:35 AM): then why do you go out of your way to make me feel better.
Aelix Farron (1:37:58 AM): you're going to tell me right now that all of that was a lie
Aelix Farron (1:37:59 AM): but you can't
Aelix Farron (1:38:10 AM): because i know THAT is a lie
Croc5001 (1:38:13 AM): sex was a motive
Aelix Farron (1:38:13 AM): steve i'm not a moron
Aelix Farron (1:38:18 AM): well then explain that to me
Aelix Farron (1:38:26 AM): basically you figured out that i'm not stupid when it comes to that
Aelix Farron (1:38:32 AM): so now you don't want anything to do with me
Aelix Farron (1:38:33 AM): is that it
Croc5001 (1:39:23 AM): yep you hit the nail on the head
Aelix Farron (1:39:31 AM): you can't be like that.
Aelix Farron (1:39:48 AM): steve will you please stop hiding behind this stupid primitive facade
Croc5001 (1:39:50 AM): your right im not but your not taking the truth at face value
Croc5001 (1:39:59 AM): im a modern primitive
Croc5001 (1:40:05 AM): that is my relgion
Aelix Farron (1:40:12 AM): but that makes NO FUCKING SENSE
Aelix Farron (1:40:15 AM): do you NOT UNDERSTAND?
Aelix Farron (1:40:19 AM): your whole life
Aelix Farron (1:40:20 AM): you want to live
Croc5001 (1:40:27 AM): well its a relgion and its mine so
Aelix Farron (1:40:28 AM): without any purpose, without any direction, without any consequence
Croc5001 (1:41:14 AM): exactly.
Aelix Farron (1:41:16 AM): so explain to me steve
Aelix Farron (1:41:19 AM): why when i was talking to you earlier
Aelix Farron (1:42:02 AM): Croc5001 (11:45:46 PM): what day are you getting back ?
Aelix Farron (11:45:50 PM): sunday.
Croc5001 (11:45:57 PM): mornign or nite?
Aelix Farron (11:46:03 PM): don't know.
Croc5001 (11:46:34 PM): well then im gona come over and be with ya whenever
Aelix Farron (1:42:04 AM): why did you say that.
Croc5001 (1:42:23 AM): cause i was lying
Aelix Farron (1:43:17 AM): okay well then obviously it's me that's the problem
Aelix Farron (1:43:24 AM): because no matter what you say to me
Aelix Farron (1:43:29 AM): i think you are a great person
Aelix Farron (1:43:35 AM): and i think you have ungodly potential
Croc5001 (1:43:43 AM): its just cause im kniving
Croc5001 (1:43:46 AM): oh i do
Aelix Farron (1:43:48 AM): conniving.
Aelix Farron (1:43:52 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:43:53 AM): see
Aelix Farron (1:43:57 AM): will you stop and listen to me for a second
Aelix Farron (1:44:01 AM): and stop being so full of yourself
Croc5001 (1:44:11 AM): no, thats the way i am
Aelix Farron (1:44:20 AM): that's not an excuse and that's not a reason
Aelix Farron (1:44:22 AM): you're intelligent
Aelix Farron (1:44:26 AM): that means you're capable of listening
Croc5001 (1:44:38 AM): whatever, go ahead
Aelix Farron (1:44:43 AM): why don't you care
Aelix Farron (1:44:47 AM): why don't you care at all
Aelix Farron (1:44:53 AM): how come i mean absolutely nothing to you
Aelix Farron (1:45:02 AM): when i would throw myself in front of a bullet for you
Aelix Farron (1:45:18 AM): oh let me guess
Aelix Farron (1:45:31 AM): because that's the way you are. and i'm stupid and naive to fall for somebody like you.
Aelix Farron (1:45:32 AM): is that it
Aelix Farron (1:45:39 AM): whatever i say you're just going to blow me off
Aelix Farron (1:45:41 AM): even by saying that
Aelix Farron (1:45:48 AM): i've got to say you've got it covered
Aelix Farron (1:45:51 AM): can't go wrong
Aelix Farron (1:45:56 AM): but i know what you're trying to do
Aelix Farron (1:46:00 AM): you're trying to make me angry with you
Aelix Farron (1:46:04 AM): you're trying to make me hate you
Aelix Farron (1:46:09 AM): and it's not going to happen
Croc5001 (1:46:29 AM): can i talk now
Aelix Farron (1:46:34 AM): i didn't say you couldn't.
Aelix Farron (1:46:40 AM): and as if i have any control over you anyway.
Croc5001 (1:46:42 AM): yeah you did
Aelix Farron (1:46:47 AM): nope. never said that.
Croc5001 (1:46:52 AM): so are you ready for my rebuttal
Aelix Farron (1:47:07 AM): no. i'm not.
Aelix Farron (1:47:11 AM): because it's going to crush me.
Aelix Farron (1:47:17 AM): because i know that's what you intend to do.
Croc5001 (1:49:19 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:49:27 AM): but say it anyway.
Aelix Farron (1:49:31 AM): because if you're going to kill me
Croc5001 (1:49:32 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:49:33 AM): kill me all the way
Aelix Farron (1:49:34 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:49:36 AM): fucking tell me right now
Aelix Farron (1:49:38 AM): what you were going to say
Croc5001 (1:49:47 AM): too late
Aelix Farron (1:51:42 AM): i'm sorry.
Croc5001 (1:51:51 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:51:58 AM): good answer.
Aelix Farron (1:52:21 AM): so i'm guessing you never want to see me again.
Aelix Farron (1:52:30 AM): because i was just a plaything.
Aelix Farron (1:52:50 AM): it didn't mean anything when we sat there on the floor together when the power went out and i read the song you wrote
Aelix Farron (1:53:21 AM): it didn't mean anything when we drove around for an hour in your car listening to sleep and drove through the park
Aelix Farron (1:53:36 AM): and it didn't mean anything when you took me to the movies that first time and made me the happiest girl in the world.
Aelix Farron (1:53:47 AM): because it wasn't real
Aelix Farron (1:53:50 AM): and i should have known better
Croc5001 (1:54:02 AM): no your my friend but thats it, but if your not i dont care...and i dont care
Aelix Farron (1:54:10 AM): but i put trust forward because i believe that some day something good will happen
Aelix Farron (1:54:18 AM): and it never does.
Aelix Farron (1:54:31 AM): so my friendship doesn't mean anything to you either
Croc5001 (1:54:31 AM): when i told you nothing would happen you should have stopped
Aelix Farron (1:54:40 AM): so it was entirely me
Croc5001 (1:54:40 AM): nothing means anything to me
Aelix Farron (1:54:46 AM): it's entirely MY fault that i fell for a guy who KISSED me
Aelix Farron (1:55:04 AM): it's entirely MY fault for thinking that SOMEBODY could actually LOVE me
Aelix Farron (1:55:25 AM): if nothing means anything to you, steve, then why do you bother
Aelix Farron (1:55:29 AM): why do you bother living
Aelix Farron (1:55:37 AM): why do you bother making so many people love you
Aelix Farron (1:55:41 AM): it doesn't even out
Croc5001 (1:56:41 AM): because i waqnt everyone to feel the cold i feel. i think everyone should
Aelix Farron (1:57:01 AM): no, steve, i don't think that's it at all.
Croc5001 (1:58:40 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (2:00:38 AM): steve, will you please stop
Aelix Farron (2:02:01 AM): i'm sorry i messed up.
Croc5001 (2:02:18 AM): you didnt mess anything up
Aelix Farron (2:02:22 AM): yes i did.
Aelix Farron (2:02:31 AM): i messed up because i cared.
Aelix Farron (2:02:34 AM): i shouldn't have done that.
Aelix Farron (2:02:37 AM): i'm sorry.
Aelix Farron (2:02:40 AM): i should know better.
Aelix Farron (2:02:51 AM): you just basically reinforced a lesson that i should have learned a long time ago.
Aelix Farron (2:04:40 AM): i know you don't care, but everything you did to me, no matter how much you used me, no matter how wrong it was, and no matter how much of a lie it was, it still means something to me.
Croc5001 (2:05:14 AM): thats fine
Croc5001 (2:05:32 AM): and its ashame it couldnt have lasted till i left
Aelix Farron (2:05:41 AM): and why can't it
Croc5001 (2:06:33 AM): well if you want it to i can do it
Aelix Farron (2:06:42 AM): what do you mean
Aelix Farron (2:07:01 AM): steve, you seem so totally oblivious to the fact that the reason this isn't lasting isn't because of me
Aelix Farron (2:07:04 AM): it's because of you
Aelix Farron (2:07:29 AM): I'M not mad at you
Aelix Farron (2:09:04 AM): you keep making it sound as if it's my fault this is ending
Aelix Farron (2:09:09 AM): well, whatever it is that's ending
Croc5001 (2:09:48 AM): no its not your fault i havent said that at all
Aelix Farron (2:09:58 AM): you implied it several times
Aelix Farron (2:10:03 AM): Croc5001 (2:06:33 AM): well if you want it to i can do it
Aelix Farron (2:10:08 AM): as if i'm the one who didn't want to
Croc5001 (2:10:08 AM): im a cruel and horrible person and im ending this and its gonna hurt you which means i got everything i wanted out of it
Aelix Farron (2:10:21 AM): who hurt you, steve
Aelix Farron (2:10:44 AM): who told you that.
Croc5001 (2:10:45 AM): i cant even remember but i know what your getting at
Aelix Farron (2:10:50 AM): what am i getting at.
Croc5001 (2:11:08 AM): your gonna be like oh someone hurt you so now your out to hurt others
Aelix Farron (2:11:12 AM): no.
Croc5001 (2:11:19 AM): and its either that oh im jsut a crazy horrible bastard
Aelix Farron (2:11:21 AM): that's not what i was getting at at all.
Aelix Farron (2:11:23 AM): no.
Aelix Farron (2:11:36 AM): i'm not judging you.
Aelix Farron (2:11:42 AM): i know right now i should hate you
Aelix Farron (2:11:57 AM): or whatever normal reaction people have after this
Aelix Farron (2:12:01 AM): i don't even know
Aelix Farron (2:12:22 AM): i just want to talk
Aelix Farron (2:12:24 AM): can we do that
Aelix Farron (2:12:26 AM): can you talk to me
Croc5001 (2:12:39 AM): what do you want me to say?
Aelix Farron (2:12:54 AM): i don't want you to say anything
Aelix Farron (2:12:58 AM): i'm not here to demand some kind of response from you
Aelix Farron (2:13:22 AM): i just want to know what you're looking for
Croc5001 (2:13:39 AM): a blue haired midget asian
Aelix Farron (2:14:02 AM): why do you avoid the question
Croc5001 (2:14:15 AM): im telling you the truth
Aelix Farron (2:14:18 AM): no you aren't.
Aelix Farron (2:14:21 AM): you're blowing me off
Aelix Farron (2:14:24 AM): okay well fine
Aelix Farron (2:14:28 AM): i'm not going to get an answer out of you
Croc5001 (2:14:32 AM): i want a asian midget
Croc5001 (2:14:34 AM): thats all
Aelix Farron (2:14:37 AM): but goddamn you are the bloodiest piece of glass i've ever tried to pick up
Croc5001 (2:15:32 AM): im a vcr funeral of dead memory waste, you can see it in my face
Aelix Farron (2:16:38 AM): well
Aelix Farron (2:16:39 AM): damn.
Aelix Farron (2:16:43 AM): you're worse than justin.
Aelix Farron (2:16:46 AM): and that's saying a lot.
Aelix Farron (2:17:11 AM): but i guess you don't know and / or care about what i'm saying because i didn't tell you everything and you probably don't even remember or understand the little bits and pieces i DID tell you
Aelix Farron (2:17:21 AM): but the thing is, steve
Aelix Farron (2:17:37 AM): well nothing i say is going to make any difference
Aelix Farron (2:17:39 AM): because you don't care
Aelix Farron (2:18:30 AM): look, i'm sorry.
Aelix Farron (2:18:34 AM): i'm sorry about whatever happened
Aelix Farron (2:18:47 AM): and i'm sorry that i fell for the same stupid trap and let you get away with it
Aelix Farron (2:18:49 AM): i'm smarter than that
Aelix Farron (2:18:56 AM): but apparently i'm too stupid to help you
Croc5001 (2:19:34 AM): help me what?
Aelix Farron (2:19:46 AM): you don't care anyway
Aelix Farron (2:19:51 AM): why bother explaining
Aelix Farron (2:19:54 AM): and you're just going to say okay fine
Aelix Farron (2:20:03 AM): so it really doesn't matter what i have to say
Aelix Farron (2:20:24 AM): ironic that you were the one who would always say, "oh, never mind, you don't care" when you'd start talking about something you're interested in.
Croc5001 (2:21:03 AM): ...yeah, ironic
Aelix Farron (2:21:47 AM): i don't know if that was supposed to be sarcasm
Aelix Farron (2:21:49 AM): because if it was
Aelix Farron (2:21:57 AM): that was quite a stupid thing to say.
Aelix Farron (2:22:53 AM): not that you care one way or another, ay.
Aelix Farron (2:22:58 AM): but look
Aelix Farron (2:23:05 AM): this is like deja vu for me
Aelix Farron (2:23:11 AM): and this is the reason i was attracted to you
Aelix Farron (2:24:25 AM): i thought i could make a difference but it never even got that far where i could say anything to help
Aelix Farron (2:24:29 AM): and i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (2:24:30 AM): that's my fault
Aelix Farron (2:24:34 AM): i should have known better
Aelix Farron (2:25:13 AM): but i don't even think you're listening to me anymore.
Croc5001 (2:25:30 AM): i am
Aelix Farron (2:26:44 AM): you don't know what love is, do you?
Croc5001 (2:26:57 AM): yeah i do
Aelix Farron (2:26:59 AM): what is it
Croc5001 (2:28:37 AM): its when you want to spend every waking moment with someone, no matter what they say its like angels are singing it and you would rather rot in hell and be tortured for all eternity than to ever harm physically or mentally a single part of there being or betray them at all
Aelix Farron (2:29:11 AM): so in your mind you are incapable of feeling that.
Croc5001 (2:29:21 AM): no i lvoe people
Aelix Farron (2:29:32 AM): then everything you've been telling me earlier is a lie.
Croc5001 (2:29:58 AM): no i love my family, you have to
Aelix Farron (2:30:06 AM): no. you don't have to.
Aelix Farron (2:30:11 AM): and that's not the kind of love i'm talking about.
Croc5001 (2:30:13 AM): buts thats not the type i was speakingof
Aelix Farron (2:34:43 AM): well i'm tired of playing the shadow game with you
Aelix Farron (2:34:51 AM): you're just another one of those people who doesn't want to be helped
Aelix Farron (2:34:56 AM): doesn't matter what i could offer you
Aelix Farron (2:35:03 AM): you're just going to refuse
Aelix Farron (2:35:05 AM): and i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (2:35:51 AM): but i will leave the door open and the light on for you
Croc5001 (2:35:51 AM): no sweat, ill chat with ya some other time
Aelix Farron (2:36:01 AM): you're not that stupid, steve
Aelix Farron (2:36:04 AM): quit trying to be stupid
Aelix Farron (2:36:20 AM): i know who you are now
Aelix Farron (2:36:35 AM): you pretty much just betrayed everything about you in this entire conversation
Aelix Farron (2:36:39 AM): and it all makes sense now
Aelix Farron (2:36:41 AM): i know i look stupid
Aelix Farron (2:36:49 AM): and i know i walked into this whole being used thing willingly
Aelix Farron (2:36:53 AM): but i did it because i just wanted to help
Aelix Farron (2:37:02 AM): and i deluded myself that i could make some sort of difference
Aelix Farron (2:37:21 AM): you can deny it all you want but you're hurting, someone fucked you up, and you're looking for something, and everything that gets in your way is fair game
Aelix Farron (2:37:25 AM): you're doing the SAME EXACT THING he did
Aelix Farron (2:37:32 AM): you're the kind of person i fall for
Aelix Farron (2:37:36 AM): and you're the kind of person that kills me
Croc5001 (2:37:42 AM): see i knew you were getting to that
Aelix Farron (2:37:47 AM): getting to what
Croc5001 (2:38:00 AM): no one in my life that i can remember fucked me over
Croc5001 (2:38:05 AM): im not hurting in anyway
Aelix Farron (2:38:17 AM): all right, fine.
Aelix Farron (2:38:27 AM): so you're saying that when your parents got divorced
Aelix Farron (2:38:33 AM): that didn't affect you in any way, shape, or form
Croc5001 (2:38:48 AM): nope, but i used it as an excuse to get bad grades and it worked
Aelix Farron (2:39:01 AM): i see.
Aelix Farron (2:42:13 AM): well i can't blame you
Aelix Farron (2:42:17 AM): i did it too
Aelix Farron (2:42:20 AM): it's the easy way out
Aelix Farron (2:42:29 AM): and i'm very very ashamed for fucking up so horribly in school and using that as an excuse
Croc5001 (2:42:44 AM): im not
Aelix Farron (2:42:47 AM): apparently it's not a mark on your conscience
Aelix Farron (2:42:48 AM): yeah.
Aelix Farron (2:43:01 AM): you're interesting.
Aelix Farron (2:43:13 AM): like, the exact opposite of me.
Aelix Farron (2:43:19 AM): all my life i've felt guilty about everything
Aelix Farron (2:43:29 AM): whereas you don't give a fuck one way or another with anything
Aelix Farron (2:43:52 AM): hm.
Aelix Farron (2:43:54 AM): weird.
Aelix Farron (2:44:08 AM): well hey um
Aelix Farron (2:44:16 AM): i don't want to call you anymore
Aelix Farron (2:44:18 AM): because you don't like that
Aelix Farron (2:44:25 AM): so if you decide you're bored and have nothing better to do
Aelix Farron (2:44:29 AM): call me up when i get back
Aelix Farron (2:44:32 AM): and i would like to talk to you
Aelix Farron (2:44:37 AM): in person
Aelix Farron (2:44:53 AM): or would you rather just avoid me until you leave and be done with me entirely?
Aelix Farron (2:44:58 AM): i don't know how people like you work
Croc5001 (2:45:11 AM): nah im unique
Aelix Farron (2:45:18 AM): i'm sure you'd like to think that.
Aelix Farron (2:45:22 AM): we all do.
Aelix Farron (2:45:41 AM): would you humor me and answer my question
Croc5001 (2:45:53 AM): lay it on me
Aelix Farron (2:45:58 AM): what?
Aelix Farron (2:46:06 AM): i already asked you.
Aelix Farron (2:46:08 AM): you didn't answer.
Croc5001 (2:46:15 AM): what question
Aelix Farron (2:46:20 AM): Aelix Farron (2:44:16 AM): i don't want to call you anymore
Aelix Farron (2:44:18 AM): because you don't like that
Aelix Farron (2:44:25 AM): so if you decide you're bored and have nothing better to do
Aelix Farron (2:44:29 AM): call me up when i get back
Aelix Farron (2:44:32 AM): and i would like to talk to you
Aelix Farron (2:44:37 AM): in person
Aelix Farron (2:44:53 AM): or would you rather just avoid me until you leave and be done with me entirely?
Aelix Farron (2:46:29 AM): pay more attention, the world is slipping by and you're going to miss it, steve.
Croc5001 (2:46:39 AM): then the answer is no
Aelix Farron (2:46:54 AM): so you would rather NOT avoid me entirely
Aelix Farron (2:47:04 AM): or you WOULD
Croc5001 (2:47:05 AM): well so are you, all coped up in your room all the time
Aelix Farron (2:47:18 AM): i pay attention.
Aelix Farron (2:47:28 AM): and i'm not cooped up in my room as much as you think.
Aelix Farron (2:47:32 AM): boundaries are where you lay them.
Croc5001 (2:47:38 AM): whatever go to sleep, bye
Aelix Farron (2:47:46 AM): so wait
Aelix Farron (2:47:51 AM): you don't want to see me again anymore?
Aelix Farron (2:47:57 AM): is that what you said?
Croc5001 (2:48:03 AM): fuck you ill decide later
Aelix Farron (2:48:06 AM): why are you angry at me?
Croc5001 (2:48:19 AM): im not
Aelix Farron (2:48:25 AM): then why are you being so harsh?
Aelix Farron (2:48:28 AM): i'm just asking an earnest question
Aelix Farron (2:48:34 AM): i'm not being a bitch
Aelix Farron (2:48:38 AM): i think i have a right to know
Aelix Farron (2:48:44 AM): after all this shit you just put me through and laughed about
Croc5001 (2:49:03 AM): ask any of my friends and they will tell you im blunt and just a horrible guy. thats me
Aelix Farron (2:49:11 AM): i don't care what your friends say
Croc5001 (2:49:20 AM): nor do i
Croc5001 (2:49:23 AM): but their right
Aelix Farron (2:49:24 AM): and no matter how many times you try and beat it into my head that "omg i'm such a horrible guy" i'm not going to think that
Aelix Farron (2:49:32 AM): so stop staying it because for once i don't care what you say when it comes to that
Aelix Farron (2:49:41 AM): i listen to everything
Aelix Farron (2:49:43 AM): and i listen to YOU
Aelix Farron (2:49:46 AM): whether you care or not
Aelix Farron (2:49:51 AM): but that is just a bunch of bullshit
Aelix Farron (2:50:08 AM): maybe based on everyone else's standards you're a manipulative controlling jackass
Aelix Farron (2:50:24 AM): i don't judge people
Aelix Farron (2:50:27 AM): i told you that right off the bat
Aelix Farron (2:50:36 AM): you are you and i understand and accept that
Aelix Farron (2:50:49 AM): whether or not you care is up to you
Aelix Farron (2:50:51 AM): and you know that
Aelix Farron (2:50:52 AM): and i know that
Croc5001 (2:51:13 AM): dont you have to go to sleep
Aelix Farron (2:51:23 AM): apparently you're done talking to me.
Aelix Farron (2:51:32 AM): so SORRY i'm intruding on your precious time
Aelix Farron (2:51:39 AM): because obviously i have nothing important to say
Aelix Farron (2:51:51 AM): i wonder if you're ever even going to realize what you just had right now
Aelix Farron (2:52:15 AM): but whatever
Aelix Farron (2:52:16 AM): you don't care
Aelix Farron (2:52:19 AM): and i talk too much
Aelix Farron (2:52:35 AM): but here somebody is offering to give you everything you ever wanted
Aelix Farron (2:52:42 AM): even if you didn't know you wanted it
Aelix Farron (2:52:47 AM): or even if you really just don't
Croc5001 (2:52:50 AM): what do i want then?
Aelix Farron (2:52:57 AM): but i am offering to give my life up for you, entirely, without any hesitation
Aelix Farron (2:53:01 AM): i am offering to be here for you
Aelix Farron (2:53:04 AM): no matter what you do to me
Aelix Farron (2:53:07 AM): and you don't give a shit
Aelix Farron (2:53:21 AM): because it's all just a game to you
Croc5001 (2:53:42 AM): life is a game and im cheating and im winning. so whatever
Aelix Farron (2:53:42 AM): i have to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow but YOU are a priority
Aelix Farron (2:53:50 AM): what are you winning, steve.
Croc5001 (2:53:59 AM): your the one crying and im not
Aelix Farron (2:54:03 AM): i'm not crying.
Aelix Farron (2:54:10 AM): and i don't see how that makes you a winner.
Croc5001 (2:54:56 AM): that and i know im gonna have a future with many people while your so fucking scared of not having anything
Aelix Farron (2:55:35 AM): i knew it.
Croc5001 (2:55:48 AM): so ta-da you win
Aelix Farron (2:55:54 AM): no
Aelix Farron (2:55:57 AM): nobody wins
Aelix Farron (2:56:03 AM): especially not you
Croc5001 (2:56:41 AM): get off the godamned computer
Aelix Farron (2:56:56 AM): why?
Croc5001 (2:57:57 AM): im done talking to you, when i need a quick pick me up ill talk to you later
Aelix Farron (2:58:12 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (2:58:22 AM): wow.
Aelix Farron (2:58:26 AM): that is so pathetic.
Aelix Farron (2:58:57 AM): you want ME to get off the computer because YOU are done talking to me, after ALL this shit you've just done to me, i'm STILL here with open arms to you, you walk all over me, slap it in my face, and make FUN of me for taking the bait in the first place
Aelix Farron (2:59:31 AM): and you turn down my offers of letting me still have some kind of affection towards you
Aelix Farron (2:59:36 AM): and yet you expect me to still be here anyway
Aelix Farron (2:59:39 AM): when you FEEL like it
Aelix Farron (2:59:41 AM): that is so amusing
Aelix Farron (2:59:42 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (2:59:53 AM): fine, whatever, steve, since the world revolves around you, i guess i should just leave
why did i even try.
i need to sleep. or something. because if i don't, i'm going to do something very, very stupid, and it's taking everything in my power to keep myself from doing it right now.
so bye.
Croc5001 (11:05:50 PM): i caught ya
Aelix Farron (11:05:52 PM): hey.
Croc5001 (11:06:13 PM): i didnt even know you were leaving so soon
Aelix Farron (11:06:21 PM): i told you several times when i was leaving.
Croc5001 (11:06:33 PM): well that was bad so i forgot
Croc5001 (11:06:50 PM): so did you ever find your mom thursday?
Aelix Farron (11:06:54 PM): yeah.
Aelix Farron (11:07:51 PM): sorry. i've just been having a really rough week.
Croc5001 (11:08:00 PM): sorry for what?
Aelix Farron (11:08:06 PM): being so bitter and unresponsive right now.
Aelix Farron (11:08:44 PM): but then again you seem to have a difficult time deciphering emotions through the internet, so i'm not exactly sure why i'm apologizing in the first place, but hey, i'm compulsive with the "i'm sorries" which, obviously, tends to make people annoyed and frustrated.
Aelix Farron (11:08:46 PM): boy i can't win.
Croc5001 (11:08:59 PM): its no problem
Croc5001 (11:09:04 PM): highfive?
Aelix Farron (11:09:34 PM): i'd prefer a bullet in the head, but if i said that, i'd sound all retarded and full of teen-angst, so disreguard the fact that i even wrote that.
Aelix Farron (11:09:49 PM): wow. i just wrote that entire long sentence instead of simply pressing the 'delete' key and saying 'lol.'
Aelix Farron (11:09:50 PM): go me.
Aelix Farron (11:09:58 PM): i earn ANOTHER award for most unintelligent girl ever.
Croc5001 (11:10:15 PM): well im asking fora highfive, we will call it even if you just give me one
Aelix Farron (11:10:21 PM): okay then.
Aelix Farron (11:10:29 PM): get your ass over here and give me the fucking high five, then.
Aelix Farron (11:10:54 PM): argh, man, i wish you could go.
Croc5001 (11:10:55 PM): how about a online highfiver
Aelix Farron (11:11:02 PM): it always sucks for me going to the beach because i have nobody to hang out with.
Aelix Farron (11:11:08 PM): all my sisters have cousins their age.
Aelix Farron (11:11:20 PM): oh well, whine whine whine, that's all i ever do. "omg liek i have no friendz lawl"
Croc5001 (11:11:28 PM): well more than likely if your momma was cool with it i could go, but i dont wanna call off work fora week
Aelix Farron (11:11:42 PM): my mom was the one who INVITED you to come.
Aelix Farron (11:11:46 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:11:58 PM): she was the one nagging at me to find a way around the fact that you had to go to work.
Aelix Farron (11:11:59 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:12:09 PM): she was like, oh he can stay in our room, there's extra beds
Croc5001 (11:12:32 PM): our room?
Aelix Farron (11:12:37 PM): yeah
Aelix Farron (11:12:41 PM): we rent like a ton of hotel rooms
Aelix Farron (11:12:42 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:12:46 PM): our room as in
Aelix Farron (11:12:51 PM): me kale kori mom and aunt dot
Aelix Farron (11:12:58 PM): there's three beds and they're all pretty big
Aelix Farron (11:13:01 PM): plenty of room
Aelix Farron (11:13:04 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:13:07 PM): crazy
Croc5001 (11:13:19 PM): i think its funny how your trying to almost sell it to me
Croc5001 (11:13:24 PM): haha
Aelix Farron (11:13:27 PM): yeah. i'm desperate for you to go.
Aelix Farron (11:13:27 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:13:46 PM): then again i'm a loser like that.
Aelix Farron (11:13:48 PM): so yeah.
Aelix Farron (11:13:48 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:14:03 PM): oh yeah, sorry i called twice today
Aelix Farron (11:14:06 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:14:10 PM): i tried to get ahold of you early and late
Aelix Farron (11:14:15 PM): but you weren't home both times
Aelix Farron (11:14:15 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:14:37 PM): yeah i went and played dnd all day
Aelix Farron (11:14:40 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:14:53 PM): we might start playing online when our dm goes to calafronia
Aelix Farron (11:15:32 PM): ugh
Aelix Farron (11:15:36 PM): usually i look forward to this trip
Aelix Farron (11:15:41 PM): but in all reality i fucking hate the beach
Aelix Farron (11:15:41 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:15:50 PM): i don't like sun, i don't like heat, i don't like sand, and i'm terrified of the ocean
Aelix Farron (11:15:54 PM): but i always go and have a blast anyway
Aelix Farron (11:16:00 PM): but this year i'm just feeling so insecure about NOTHING
Croc5001 (11:16:05 PM): did you read my email i sent ya
Aelix Farron (11:16:18 PM): i'm worried about what i'm going to look like in the bathing suit, i'm worried about not having anybody to talk to the whole time i'm there
Aelix Farron (11:16:19 PM): yeah
Aelix Farron (11:16:27 PM): i always read your e-mails, silly
Croc5001 (11:16:30 PM): i liked the sharky comment
Aelix Farron (11:16:39 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:16:40 PM): yes
Aelix Farron (11:16:41 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:18:04 PM): i would personally like to see you ina bathing suit
Aelix Farron (11:18:13 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:18:15 PM): then come with us
Aelix Farron (11:18:16 PM): >:p
Aelix Farron (11:18:17 PM): for like
Aelix Farron (11:18:19 PM): HALF the week
Aelix Farron (11:18:22 PM): three days??
Aelix Farron (11:18:26 PM): *whine whine whine*
Aelix Farron (11:18:26 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:19:02 PM): i cant man
Aelix Farron (11:19:19 PM): ah i figured i'd beg anyway
Aelix Farron (11:19:20 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:19:51 PM): lol were you anywhere near harmony road today?
Aelix Farron (11:20:02 PM): kori and kale thought they saw you when we were stopped at a light
Croc5001 (11:20:55 PM): well if it makes you feel better i find it very hot when chicks beg for stuff. but the nagain that might just be the man in me getting out again. ....i wasent driving my car barely at all today, so i dont think it was me
Aelix Farron (11:21:06 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:21:15 PM): plzplzplz come to the beach stevie steve
Croc5001 (11:22:08 PM): sorry cant help ya
Aelix Farron (11:22:17 PM): we would have sex on the beach
Aelix Farron (11:22:19 PM): :p
Croc5001 (11:27:14 PM): and thats why i cant take off another
Aelix Farron (11:27:28 PM): oh please
Aelix Farron (11:27:29 PM): two days
Aelix Farron (11:27:32 PM): OMG DEATHS?!!?!?
Aelix Farron (11:27:33 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:27:42 PM): well come over right now then.
Aelix Farron (11:27:44 PM): >:o
Croc5001 (11:27:45 PM): ?
Aelix Farron (11:27:46 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:27:48 PM): sorry
Aelix Farron (11:27:52 PM): retarded internet talk
Aelix Farron (11:27:53 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:28:11 PM): im not coming over your house at 1130. your mom would freak and mt mom would
Aelix Farron (11:28:14 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:28:16 PM): my mom wouldn't
Aelix Farron (11:28:21 PM): they're up making tuna fish sandwiches
Aelix Farron (11:28:23 PM): it's tradition
Aelix Farron (11:28:24 PM): lol
Aelix Farron (11:28:37 PM): they'll be up for another hour or so, easy
Croc5001 (11:28:39 PM): when she saw what i would do to you she would
Croc5001 (11:28:42 PM): OOOOHHHHH
Aelix Farron (11:28:48 PM): LOL
Aelix Farron (11:28:50 PM): rawr.
Aelix Farron (11:28:51 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:30:16 PM): RAWR INDEED
Aelix Farron (11:30:41 PM): PLZPLZPLZ COME OVER
Aelix Farron (11:30:43 PM): ;_;;;;;;
Croc5001 (11:31:15 PM): no way, im sorry
Aelix Farron (11:31:21 PM): psh
Aelix Farron (11:31:30 PM): you're really good at going the extra mile for your girlfriend, aren't you
Aelix Farron (11:31:36 PM): COME TO THE BEACH WITH ME STEVIE STEVE, PLZ PLZ PLZ
Aelix Farron (11:31:40 PM): "nope, sorry"
Aelix Farron (11:31:47 PM): COME OVER TO MY HOUSE STEVIE STEVE, PLZ PLZ PLZ
Aelix Farron (11:31:52 PM): "nope, sorry"
Aelix Farron (11:31:53 PM): lol
Croc5001 (11:32:23 PM): whoa, wait girlfriend?
Aelix Farron (11:33:11 PM): i'm not exactly sure what you want me to say to that.
Croc5001 (11:33:31 PM): i dont remember that
Croc5001 (11:33:52 PM): but im cool with it
Aelix Farron (11:33:58 PM): you're making me all nervous now.
Aelix Farron (11:34:27 PM): we had a big talk about it and you were even asking me if you had to act any different around my family and things.
Croc5001 (11:34:47 PM): yeah, like how long was that
Aelix Farron (11:34:54 PM): what?
Croc5001 (11:35:01 PM): how long ago was that
Aelix Farron (11:35:02 PM): how long ago
Aelix Farron (11:35:03 PM): oh
Aelix Farron (11:35:06 PM): i'm not sure
Aelix Farron (11:35:11 PM): like, a week and a half?
Croc5001 (11:35:30 PM): nah dude, i dont think so
Croc5001 (11:35:44 PM): i dont wanna be mean but i dont remember
Croc5001 (11:35:53 PM): and im not angry or nothing either
Aelix Farron (11:36:05 PM): well maybe i'm just crazy.
Aelix Farron (11:36:23 PM): i... don't know but i'm feeling reeeeeeeeally awkward and stupid right now.
Croc5001 (11:36:35 PM): aww, dont be
Croc5001 (11:37:26 PM): wow sorry
Aelix Farron (11:38:19 PM): i need to chill. sorry. i don't know why i'm freaking out.
Aelix Farron (11:38:21 PM): i'm retarded.
Croc5001 (11:38:50 PM): ok yeah t was josh i just told him and he told me it was him
Croc5001 (11:39:06 PM): two wednsedays ago
Aelix Farron (11:39:07 PM): what?
Croc5001 (11:39:12 PM): he got on my name
Croc5001 (11:39:23 PM): wow whatta dick
Croc5001 (11:39:29 PM): and i knew he did too
Croc5001 (11:39:43 PM): butr i didnt know he talked to anyone
Croc5001 (11:39:47 PM): fuck
Croc5001 (11:39:49 PM): im sorry
Aelix Farron (11:39:59 PM): no. it's okay.
Aelix Farron (11:40:10 PM): sorry. just... ow.
Croc5001 (11:40:12 PM): but now we date
Aelix Farron (11:40:14 PM): i'm feeling really stupid right now.
Aelix Farron (11:40:28 PM): ah man. i need chocolate or something.
Croc5001 (11:40:31 PM): no please i demand you dont because that was fucked up
Croc5001 (11:40:40 PM): im sorry
Croc5001 (11:40:44 PM): im sososo srory
Aelix Farron (11:40:55 PM): it's okay. i'm just being retarded.
Croc5001 (11:41:13 PM): but hey atleast he got us dating
Croc5001 (11:41:41 PM): but im still gonna have to break up with you soon for college
Aelix Farron (11:41:51 PM): i know.
Aelix Farron (11:42:01 PM): you never struck me as one of those people who could hold a good relationship over a long distance.
Aelix Farron (11:42:09 PM): not trying to sound negative.
Aelix Farron (11:42:21 PM): plus... well hey, it's ME we're talking about.
Aelix Farron (11:42:23 PM): hahahaha
Aelix Farron (11:42:25 PM): wow i'm being sooooo dumb
Croc5001 (11:42:44 PM): no your not
Aelix Farron (11:42:50 PM): hm. this is another one of those KIRSTEN SHUT THE FUCK UP moments.
Croc5001 (11:43:02 PM): no its not, stop saying that
Aelix Farron (11:43:08 PM): sorry.
Aelix Farron (11:43:20 PM): wow. very very insecure right now.
Aelix Farron (11:43:22 PM): i hate that.
Aelix Farron (11:43:23 PM): i'm sorry.
Aelix Farron (11:43:57 PM): you know, if my STUPID DAD hadn't gone and ROBBED A FUCKING BANK and pretty much destroyed all evidence of my STABLE FAMILY LIFE, well hey, maybe i wouldn't be a retarded insecure stupid whiney bitch who is never happy and requires medicine to put her life back together
Aelix Farron (11:43:58 PM): but no.
Aelix Farron (11:44:13 PM): i'm that way.
Croc5001 (11:44:15 PM): well arent you offf it?
Aelix Farron (11:44:19 PM): yeah. now i am.
Aelix Farron (11:44:24 PM): but i hold that against me.
Croc5001 (11:44:31 PM): how?
Aelix Farron (11:44:33 PM): because i'm stupid and i am very angry at everything i have done this past year of my life.
Aelix Farron (11:44:39 PM): i shouldn't have done that in the first place.
Croc5001 (11:44:39 PM): you wnated to stop so you did
Aelix Farron (11:44:45 PM): yeah. so i guess that's good.
Croc5001 (11:44:47 PM): it wasent your choiuce
Aelix Farron (11:44:49 PM): at least i have some brain matter left.
Aelix Farron (11:44:54 PM): as difficult as that is to believe
Aelix Farron (11:44:55 PM): oh my fucking god
Aelix Farron (11:45:01 PM): LISTEN TO ME BITCH ON AND ON AND ON
Aelix Farron (11:45:11 PM): i am so stupid. why am i whining. THERE IS NOTHING TO WHINE ABOUT.
Aelix Farron (11:45:19 PM): i'm sorry. i keep saying the stupidest shit and it sounds like i'm fishing for pity
Aelix Farron (11:45:24 PM): i'm just kind of a wreck right now
Aelix Farron (11:45:25 PM): bad week
Aelix Farron (11:45:30 PM): just... jittery. i guess. i don't know.
Aelix Farron (11:45:32 PM): wow i'm being stupid.
Aelix Farron (11:45:35 PM): sorry. i'm shutting up now.
Aelix Farron (11:45:35 PM): sorry.
Croc5001 (11:45:46 PM): what day are you getting back ?
Aelix Farron (11:45:50 PM): sunday.
Croc5001 (11:45:57 PM): mornign or nite?
Aelix Farron (11:46:03 PM): don't know.
Aelix Farron (11:46:18 PM): GOD i don't want to go
Aelix Farron (11:46:20 PM): this is so stupid
Aelix Farron (11:46:24 PM): i just want to like
Aelix Farron (11:46:27 PM): crawl into a corner
Aelix Farron (11:46:29 PM): and just rot there
Aelix Farron (11:46:32 PM): for a loooooooong long time
Croc5001 (11:46:34 PM): well then im gona come over and be with ya whenever
Croc5001 (11:48:33 PM): youll get better by the end of the week
Aelix Farron (11:48:41 PM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (11:48:45 PM): i should have seen this coming earlier this week
Aelix Farron (11:48:50 PM): just this downward spiral of nothing
Aelix Farron (11:48:52 PM): so now i'm depressed
Croc5001 (11:48:53 PM): what you mean?
Aelix Farron (11:48:58 PM): WHY don't i EVER stop it before it gets to this point???
Aelix Farron (11:49:01 PM): i just let it slide
Aelix Farron (11:49:07 PM): and i'm like, no kirsten you're okay there's nothing to be depressed about
Aelix Farron (11:49:12 PM): and then the littlest thing sets me off
Croc5001 (11:49:16 PM): let what slide?
Aelix Farron (11:49:17 PM): and i'm fucking crazy right now
Aelix Farron (11:49:29 PM): just that baaaaaad bad feeling that everything sucks all of a sudden
Aelix Farron (11:49:33 PM): it's when i start thinking about my dad
Aelix Farron (11:49:36 PM): i started writing him a letter
Aelix Farron (11:49:38 PM): and i couldn't finish it
Croc5001 (11:49:50 PM): why not?
Aelix Farron (11:50:06 PM): because i started crying like the whiney little bitch i am
Aelix Farron (11:50:09 PM): so now it's sitting on my desk
Aelix Farron (11:50:11 PM): my god i'm stupid
Aelix Farron (11:50:14 PM): i cry too much
Aelix Farron (11:50:16 PM): over EVERYTHING
Aelix Farron (11:50:19 PM): i can't stop thinking about my friends
Aelix Farron (11:50:25 PM): i can't stop thinking about how lonely i am
Aelix Farron (11:50:29 PM): and then it just gets worse and worse and worse
Croc5001 (11:50:46 PM): well thats
Croc5001 (11:50:49 PM): no good
Aelix Farron (11:50:50 PM): and i just bring myself down and call myself names and go on and on about how nobody will ever love me and i'm going to die all alone somewhere because there will ALWAYS be someone better than me, ALWAYS
Croc5001 (11:51:11 PM): well we all die alone
Croc5001 (11:51:18 PM): unless your ina plane crash
Aelix Farron (11:51:30 PM): that's not what i mean.
Croc5001 (11:51:31 PM): and there will always be someone better than everyone
Aelix Farron (11:51:37 PM): well nobody will ever settle for ME
Croc5001 (11:51:39 PM): and that person has someone better then them
Aelix Farron (11:51:41 PM): that's what i'm saying
Croc5001 (11:51:46 PM): and that one has one thats better
Croc5001 (11:51:49 PM): and so does that one
Aelix Farron (11:51:59 PM): i'm too stupid, too needy, and it's not like i'm some hot chick that can get any boy she wants
Aelix Farron (11:52:02 PM): it doesn't work like that for me
Aelix Farron (11:52:10 PM): plus i'm the weird girl, the one that draws and plays videogames
Croc5001 (11:52:22 PM): but thats rockingly7 cool
Aelix Farron (11:52:28 PM): no it isn't
Aelix Farron (11:52:32 PM): who the fuck CARES that i can do these things
Aelix Farron (11:52:34 PM): nobody cares
Aelix Farron (11:52:38 PM): it's just stupid random stuff that has no purpose
Aelix Farron (11:52:42 PM): just like everything else i do
Aelix Farron (11:52:44 PM): oh. my. god.
Aelix Farron (11:52:47 PM): WHAT AM I SAYING
Aelix Farron (11:52:48 PM): SHUT ME UP
Croc5001 (11:52:50 PM): i like videogames
Aelix Farron (11:52:51 PM): okay i am SO SORRY
Aelix Farron (11:53:01 PM): i'm going into this big rant about how everyone hates me and life sucks
Aelix Farron (11:53:05 PM): that is so teen-angst drama
Aelix Farron (11:53:07 PM): i need to just like
Aelix Farron (11:53:13 PM): go write that down in my journal or something
Aelix Farron (11:53:16 PM): not spew shit at you
Croc5001 (11:53:34 PM): wow thats kinda a gross metaphor
Aelix Farron (11:53:40 PM): hahaha
Aelix Farron (11:53:45 PM): yeah.
Aelix Farron (11:55:01 PM): wow. wow. i need to chill.
Aelix Farron (11:55:26 PM): i um yeah
Aelix Farron (11:55:28 PM): i'm being stupid
Aelix Farron (11:55:29 PM): okay
Aelix Farron (11:55:32 PM): why am i STILL talking
Aelix Farron (11:55:43 PM): i need to go like bash my head on the wall or something equally STUPID
Croc5001 (11:55:44 PM): because i like talking t oyou
Aelix Farron (11:56:11 PM): ah okay wonderful, kirsten, another bunch of pity-me crap that i'm sure EVERYONE wants to hear because POOR YOU.
Aelix Farron (11:56:16 PM): whatever, my god, i am so stupid
Aelix Farron (11:56:19 PM): ANYWAY.
Aelix Farron (11:56:43 PM): wow yeah i make such a great impression.
Aelix Farron (11:56:49 PM): one little thing goes wrong and i flip out over nothing.
Aelix Farron (11:56:56 PM): i'm such a great person, aren't i.
Aelix Farron (11:57:26 PM): sorry.
Croc5001 (11:57:26 PM): i think you are
Aelix Farron (11:57:39 PM): well my god all this week i've been feeling so awful
Aelix Farron (11:57:47 PM): i kept wondering why i wasn't being made any kind of priority in your life
Aelix Farron (11:58:02 PM): i figured i'd be something a little more interesting than a friend because oh yay now i'm actually you're girlfriend isn't that so cool
Aelix Farron (11:58:06 PM): and now it all makes sense
Aelix Farron (11:58:07 PM): but i feel so STUPID
Croc5001 (11:58:58 PM): well if it makes you feel better your pretty higih up there except work and sleep are more important and thats alot of what ive been doing
Aelix Farron (11:59:42 PM): *your
Aelix Farron (11:59:46 PM): not you're
Aelix Farron (11:59:51 PM): wow. i'm making typos. what in the hell.
Aelix Farron (12:02:12 AM): well thank you
Aelix Farron (12:02:18 AM): that makes me feel a lot better
Aelix Farron (12:02:22 AM): i just need to calm down
Aelix Farron (12:02:23 AM): or something
Aelix Farron (12:03:09 AM): i'm sorry... i'm totally overreacting to everything
Croc5001 (12:03:38 AM): its cool im used to it
Aelix Farron (12:03:44 AM): :-\.
Aelix Farron (12:03:49 AM): from me?
Croc5001 (12:04:26 AM): multiple
Croc5001 (12:05:08 AM): my aunt was over here crying today because her daughter didnt say i love you
Aelix Farron (12:05:13 AM): ah.
Aelix Farron (12:05:28 AM): well i overreact to things when i'm depressed
Aelix Farron (12:05:34 AM): which is stupid because i SHOULDN'T be depressed
Aelix Farron (12:05:37 AM): i'm just so scared right now
Aelix Farron (12:05:40 AM): and i have no idea why
Aelix Farron (12:09:25 AM): do you think you could come up on like, saturday?
Croc5001 (12:09:40 AM): no cause i dont know where the place is
Aelix Farron (12:10:08 AM): sorry, i'm just trying to find SOME way around it
Aelix Farron (12:10:09 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:10:12 AM): i'm annoying like that
Aelix Farron (12:10:23 AM): wow. i hate this.
Aelix Farron (12:10:35 AM): i don't even want to TALK about this, because i feel like a pity whore
Croc5001 (12:10:44 AM): hahaha
Aelix Farron (12:10:45 AM): but it is so fucking hard not to take up old habits.
Aelix Farron (12:10:55 AM): like i am literally shaking right now because i'm not allowing myself to do it
Aelix Farron (12:10:57 AM): and that is STUPID
Aelix Farron (12:14:37 AM): wait
Aelix Farron (12:14:42 AM): are you doing anything tomorrow?
Aelix Farron (12:14:53 AM): i'm sure you've already got plans, right? :-\
Croc5001 (12:14:54 AM): going to my fathers
Aelix Farron (12:14:58 AM): yeahh
Aelix Farron (12:15:00 AM): mmkay
Aelix Farron (12:15:03 AM): i'll stop now.
Aelix Farron (12:15:05 AM): lol
Croc5001 (12:15:08 AM): what time are you laving tommorrow?
Aelix Farron (12:15:11 AM): early
Croc5001 (12:15:30 AM): wel yeah if im up now i aint waking up around 10iush
Aelix Farron (12:15:32 AM): AH and we're having mack's pizza the first night too
Aelix Farron (12:15:40 AM): well wait
Aelix Farron (12:15:43 AM): what are you saying
Croc5001 (12:16:04 AM): im not gonna be even up before you leave
Aelix Farron (12:16:24 AM): well we head up to my baci's house at like, ten-thirty, eleven
Aelix Farron (12:16:31 AM): and we usually don't leave until around twelve or one
Aelix Farron (12:20:50 AM): is this one of those awkward silences, one of those "i'm thinking about it" silences, or one of those "GOD there is no way in hell i'm going to the beach with this stupid bitch so i need to think up a way out of it" silences
Aelix Farron (12:20:50 AM): lol
Croc5001 (12:21:25 AM): im reading some dnd stuff actually
Aelix Farron (12:21:30 AM): oh
Aelix Farron (12:21:30 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:21:34 AM): so none of the above
Aelix Farron (12:21:35 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:23:20 AM): you're leaving me hanging here
Aelix Farron (12:23:20 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:23:46 AM): sorry, i just reeeeeeeeeeally reeeeeeeeally wish you could go so i'm harassing you about it
Aelix Farron (12:23:57 AM): i should probably get away from the computer before i make you hate me
Croc5001 (12:24:10 AM): nah wont hjappen
Aelix Farron (12:24:20 AM): lol
Croc5001 (12:24:21 AM): AD&D Top-Ten Lists
Croc5001 (12:24:27 AM): you should read that
Croc5001 (12:24:44 AM): its funny
Aelix Farron (12:24:55 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:25:03 AM): wait
Aelix Farron (12:25:13 AM): were you saying "nah won't happen" to that you won't go, or that you'll end up hating me
Croc5001 (12:26:00 AM): both
Aelix Farron (12:26:07 AM): oh
Aelix Farron (12:26:12 AM): well then quit making it seem like you CAN go
Aelix Farron (12:26:22 AM): you're driving me crazy over here thinking there's a chance that you could go with me tomorrow
Aelix Farron (12:26:23 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (12:33:29 AM): so, um, there is no way you WILL go tomorrow?
Croc5001 (12:33:53 AM): nope
Aelix Farron (12:35:41 AM): sorry.
Aelix Farron (12:37:07 AM): you're not upset with me, are you?
Croc5001 (12:37:14 AM): not at all
Aelix Farron (12:37:27 AM): okay... i just get really paranoid that i annoy the fuck out of you
Aelix Farron (12:37:47 AM): because i'm always nagging to spend time with you and have you go places with me
Croc5001 (12:38:07 AM): no problem
Aelix Farron (12:40:54 AM): wow. this week has really, really sucked.
Aelix Farron (12:41:12 AM): and now all my stupid little brain wants to do is break down somewhere and cry about it.
Aelix Farron (12:41:14 AM): how. stupid. is. that.
Aelix Farron (12:41:36 AM): i need to shut up.
Aelix Farron (12:41:40 AM): sorry. i'm talking way too much.
Aelix Farron (12:41:44 AM): and everything i say comes out wrong.
Aelix Farron (12:49:55 AM): um... i'm going to try one more time. what if we gave you directions for saturday?
Aelix Farron (12:50:12 AM): if you don't want to go, just tell me, i'm sorry if i have to keep making you pull up excuses not to go
Aelix Farron (12:50:14 AM): i don't mean to be like that
Croc5001 (12:51:28 AM): well i havent made ex uses, youve never even asked if i wanted to, youve just been like how about this and i said no and why
Aelix Farron (12:51:42 AM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (12:51:56 AM): i just assumed if you didn't want to go, you'd say so
Aelix Farron (12:52:16 AM): sorry, i'm not saying that OMG STOP MAKING EXCUSES
Aelix Farron (12:52:22 AM): wow
Aelix Farron (12:52:29 AM): see what i mean about everything i say coming out wrong
Aelix Farron (12:52:36 AM): i wasn't trying to insinuate that you were making excuses just not to go
Croc5001 (12:52:54 AM): yeah thats coolo
Aelix Farron (12:53:07 AM): no, see, it's not okay
Aelix Farron (12:53:11 AM): whenever i ask you if something i do annoys you
Aelix Farron (12:53:15 AM): you're always just like
Aelix Farron (12:53:17 AM): no problem
Aelix Farron (12:53:23 AM): you never deny that it annoys you
Aelix Farron (12:53:26 AM): you just blow it off
Aelix Farron (12:53:33 AM): so i never know if what i'm doing is downright frustrating to you or not
Croc5001 (12:54:40 AM): no your not annoying
Aelix Farron (12:55:30 AM): i'm sorry i'm just so nervous about talking to you most of the time
Aelix Farron (12:55:37 AM): i never know what i keep coming off as
Aelix Farron (12:57:39 AM): i WANT to be more open with you but i'm just
Aelix Farron (12:57:42 AM): really paranoid
Croc5001 (1:00:00 AM): crazy
Aelix Farron (1:00:07 AM): what?
Croc5001 (1:01:06 AM): i dunno
Aelix Farron (1:04:05 AM): i really don't think you even have a clue how i feel about you, do you
Aelix Farron (1:04:09 AM): i hardly tell you anything at all
Aelix Farron (1:04:12 AM): not that it matters
Aelix Farron (1:04:14 AM): it won't mean anything
Croc5001 (1:04:29 AM): yeah youve told me before
Aelix Farron (1:04:42 AM): i don't think you get it though.
Aelix Farron (1:04:46 AM): i don't think you really understand
Aelix Farron (1:06:00 AM): look, steve, i feel like i'm really, really annoying you, and i feel like we got hooked up against your will, and now i feel like everything i'm saying is backfiring on me
Aelix Farron (1:06:14 AM): i am just having a really really bad day and everything i'm saying is making it worse and i have no idea what to do
Croc5001 (1:07:18 AM): just calm down
Aelix Farron (1:09:06 AM): i can't. i really just can't.
Aelix Farron (1:09:28 AM): i need to go pack
Aelix Farron (1:09:34 AM): so be right back
Aelix Farron (1:09:36 AM): or whatever
Aelix Farron (1:09:39 AM): god i'm such a wreck
Croc5001 (1:09:39 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:09:41 AM): i'm so sorry
Croc5001 (1:10:02 AM): dont be
Aelix Farron (1:10:09 AM): well i AM
Aelix Farron (1:10:14 AM): i don't know WHAT ELSE TO SAY
Aelix Farron (1:10:17 AM): i just don't know
Croc5001 (1:10:21 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:10:24 AM): i have no idea what the fuck i've said this entire conversation
Aelix Farron (1:10:28 AM): i can't even read the screen right now
Aelix Farron (1:10:31 AM): i'm basically typing blind
Aelix Farron (1:10:35 AM): wow who cares
Aelix Farron (1:10:41 AM): ok. ok. it's one in the morning.
Croc5001 (1:10:49 AM): itsa good thing your good at typing then
Croc5001 (1:22:06 AM): so look, i dont want to be your boyfriend and ive already told you the reasons why. and now your friends are getting on my dick about it and i havent been pissed or hating you at all, but now i think its stupid how they are fucking fucking trying to talk to me like they know how i think or anything.
Aelix Farron (1:22:19 AM): i'm sorry
Croc5001 (1:22:30 AM): kirsten i dont hate you not at all. and im sorry for what josh did but thats not my fault
Croc5001 (1:22:34 AM): take it up with him
Aelix Farron (1:22:35 AM): i know it isn't
Aelix Farron (1:22:37 AM): it's my fault
Aelix Farron (1:22:39 AM): this is all my fault
Aelix Farron (1:22:41 AM): i'm sorry
Croc5001 (1:23:17 AM): its not your fault
Aelix Farron (1:23:22 AM): YES IT FUCKING IS
Aelix Farron (1:23:23 AM): OKAY
Aelix Farron (1:23:25 AM): EVERYTHING I DO
Aelix Farron (1:23:26 AM): IS MY FUCKING FAULT
Aelix Farron (1:23:41 AM): everything i'm saying here is WRONG
Aelix Farron (1:24:01 AM): i didn't tell bob to talk to you
Aelix Farron (1:24:03 AM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (1:24:17 AM): i don't CARE that you're leaving
Aelix Farron (1:24:19 AM): do you understand me?
Aelix Farron (1:24:24 AM): that ISN'T an issue with me
Aelix Farron (1:24:30 AM): but i know you have this image of me
Aelix Farron (1:24:35 AM): and it's all wrong
Aelix Farron (1:24:38 AM): everything is fucking wrong
Aelix Farron (1:24:41 AM): but let me tell you something steve
Aelix Farron (1:25:03 AM): no you know what
Aelix Farron (1:25:04 AM): never mind
Aelix Farron (1:25:09 AM): there is no point in telling you
Croc5001 (1:25:12 AM): ok fine
Aelix Farron (1:25:21 AM): no you don't understand, steve
Aelix Farron (1:25:25 AM): this is so wrong
Aelix Farron (1:25:27 AM): i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (1:25:50 AM): steve, i love you. and i know that means absolutely NOTHING to you, in any way, shape, or form.
Aelix Farron (1:26:04 AM): i don't use that word. ever.
Aelix Farron (1:26:09 AM): because it is tossed around so lightly now.
Aelix Farron (1:26:25 AM): and i don't even want to TELL you these things because you're just going to blow me off as some other stupid young girl who doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about
Aelix Farron (1:26:50 AM): but goddamnit, steve, despite how stupid i've been acting around you, and despite all the different ways i've been emotionally
Aelix Farron (1:26:57 AM): to me you are the only person in the universe that matters
Aelix Farron (1:27:00 AM): and i KNOW you didn't want that
Aelix Farron (1:27:09 AM): this is why it's my fault
Aelix Farron (1:27:16 AM): because you talked to some girl you thought was cute and asked her to the movies
Aelix Farron (1:27:18 AM): and you got ME
Aelix Farron (1:27:22 AM): ME. of ALL PEOPLE
Aelix Farron (1:27:32 AM): i would WAIT an ETERNITY for you
Aelix Farron (1:27:48 AM): you have no fucking idea how much it hurts me to know that i am just this stupid, stupid girl to you
Croc5001 (1:27:48 AM): youll get over it
Aelix Farron (1:28:01 AM): why doesn't it mean anything to you?
Aelix Farron (1:28:03 AM): do you get this all the time?
Aelix Farron (1:28:07 AM): am i just one of many?
Croc5001 (1:28:11 AM): no
Croc5001 (1:28:39 AM): and whatever jimmy k says dont listen
Aelix Farron (1:28:47 AM): WHY
Aelix Farron (1:28:49 AM): WHY NOT
Aelix Farron (1:29:02 AM): i pour my heart out to you and you DON'T CARE
Aelix Farron (1:29:03 AM): you DON'T RESPOND
Aelix Farron (1:29:07 AM): you NEVER come to me for ANYTHING
Croc5001 (1:29:25 AM): thats cause i dont need anything
Aelix Farron (1:29:38 AM): but i WANT you to need me
Aelix Farron (1:29:42 AM): i WANT to be someone SPECIAL to you
Aelix Farron (1:29:45 AM): because you are SO SPECIAL to ME
Aelix Farron (1:29:48 AM): but it means NOTHING
Aelix Farron (1:30:00 AM): it means NOTHING that i would wait five billion years for you and not care about another soul in the world
Aelix Farron (1:30:05 AM): because i'm just a stupid girl
Aelix Farron (1:30:10 AM): who has no idea what the fuck she's talking about
Aelix Farron (1:30:19 AM): and you'll find some other hot girl who's better and doesn't have all my stupid problems
Aelix Farron (1:30:23 AM): and you'll get on with your life
Croc5001 (1:31:23 AM): well watch this, ill jsut get over it now.
Aelix Farron (1:32:22 AM): why does it have to be this way
Croc5001 (1:32:36 AM): because your not gonna have it any other wqay
Aelix Farron (1:32:48 AM): elaborate.
Croc5001 (1:33:09 AM): because this is the end im ending our reletionship
Aelix Farron (1:33:18 AM): WHAT relationship???
Aelix Farron (1:33:23 AM): THIS is what i'm talking about
Aelix Farron (1:33:29 AM): THERE WAS NO RELATIONSHIP
Aelix Farron (1:33:37 AM): you NEVER wanted anything to do with me
Aelix Farron (1:33:49 AM): you just fucked around with how i felt about you because i'm stupid and easily manipulated
Croc5001 (1:34:04 AM): yep thats right im a horrible guy
Aelix Farron (1:34:07 AM): NO
Aelix Farron (1:34:15 AM): NO see you're just going to take everything i say the wrong way
Aelix Farron (1:34:18 AM): you're going to try and make me hate you
Aelix Farron (1:34:22 AM): so it's easier for you to get over it
Aelix Farron (1:34:33 AM): steve, you could shoot me
Aelix Farron (1:34:38 AM): and i would still forgive you
Croc5001 (1:34:40 AM): im not the one that has to get over anything
Croc5001 (1:34:45 AM): I DONT FEEL ANYTHING EVER
Aelix Farron (1:34:45 AM): obviously.
Croc5001 (1:34:52 AM): i dont care if you believe it or not
Aelix Farron (1:34:54 AM): that's not true.
Aelix Farron (1:34:58 AM): look steve
Croc5001 (1:34:58 AM): im not happy im not sad
Aelix Farron (1:35:00 AM): you weren't always that way
Croc5001 (1:35:11 AM): anger stays in me for about 3 seconds before it fades
Croc5001 (1:35:17 AM): and your right i wasent
Croc5001 (1:35:20 AM): but now i am
Aelix Farron (1:35:22 AM): why
Aelix Farron (1:35:24 AM): you never told me why
Croc5001 (1:35:26 AM): and its bliss
Croc5001 (1:36:08 AM): becuase i can, thats why
Aelix Farron (1:36:12 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:36:14 AM): people don't just do that
Aelix Farron (1:36:17 AM): you're INTELLIGENT, steve
Aelix Farron (1:36:26 AM): you know that was the FIRST thing i noticed about you when you FIRST talked to me
Aelix Farron (1:36:29 AM): in the auditorium
Aelix Farron (1:36:34 AM): when i didn't even KNOW you
Aelix Farron (1:36:38 AM): when you weren't even specifically talking to ME
Aelix Farron (1:36:45 AM): i just sat there and kept thinking how intelligent your eyes were
Croc5001 (1:36:47 AM): i suckered you in by talking about something i knew was gonna interest you
Aelix Farron (1:37:01 AM): WHY?
Aelix Farron (1:37:07 AM): i can't figure out what your fucking MOTIVE was behind all this
Croc5001 (1:37:10 AM): becuase im a horrible person
Aelix Farron (1:37:12 AM): no
Croc5001 (1:37:17 AM): i like seeing people uupset
Aelix Farron (1:37:19 AM): you AREN'T a horrible person
Aelix Farron (1:37:19 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:37:21 AM): that isn't true
Croc5001 (1:37:23 AM): it puts me in a higher place
Aelix Farron (1:37:25 AM): if that's true
Aelix Farron (1:37:35 AM): then why do you go out of your way to make me feel better.
Aelix Farron (1:37:58 AM): you're going to tell me right now that all of that was a lie
Aelix Farron (1:37:59 AM): but you can't
Aelix Farron (1:38:10 AM): because i know THAT is a lie
Croc5001 (1:38:13 AM): sex was a motive
Aelix Farron (1:38:13 AM): steve i'm not a moron
Aelix Farron (1:38:18 AM): well then explain that to me
Aelix Farron (1:38:26 AM): basically you figured out that i'm not stupid when it comes to that
Aelix Farron (1:38:32 AM): so now you don't want anything to do with me
Aelix Farron (1:38:33 AM): is that it
Croc5001 (1:39:23 AM): yep you hit the nail on the head
Aelix Farron (1:39:31 AM): you can't be like that.
Aelix Farron (1:39:48 AM): steve will you please stop hiding behind this stupid primitive facade
Croc5001 (1:39:50 AM): your right im not but your not taking the truth at face value
Croc5001 (1:39:59 AM): im a modern primitive
Croc5001 (1:40:05 AM): that is my relgion
Aelix Farron (1:40:12 AM): but that makes NO FUCKING SENSE
Aelix Farron (1:40:15 AM): do you NOT UNDERSTAND?
Aelix Farron (1:40:19 AM): your whole life
Aelix Farron (1:40:20 AM): you want to live
Croc5001 (1:40:27 AM): well its a relgion and its mine so
Aelix Farron (1:40:28 AM): without any purpose, without any direction, without any consequence
Croc5001 (1:41:14 AM): exactly.
Aelix Farron (1:41:16 AM): so explain to me steve
Aelix Farron (1:41:19 AM): why when i was talking to you earlier
Aelix Farron (1:42:02 AM): Croc5001 (11:45:46 PM): what day are you getting back ?
Aelix Farron (11:45:50 PM): sunday.
Croc5001 (11:45:57 PM): mornign or nite?
Aelix Farron (11:46:03 PM): don't know.
Croc5001 (11:46:34 PM): well then im gona come over and be with ya whenever
Aelix Farron (1:42:04 AM): why did you say that.
Croc5001 (1:42:23 AM): cause i was lying
Aelix Farron (1:43:17 AM): okay well then obviously it's me that's the problem
Aelix Farron (1:43:24 AM): because no matter what you say to me
Aelix Farron (1:43:29 AM): i think you are a great person
Aelix Farron (1:43:35 AM): and i think you have ungodly potential
Croc5001 (1:43:43 AM): its just cause im kniving
Croc5001 (1:43:46 AM): oh i do
Aelix Farron (1:43:48 AM): conniving.
Aelix Farron (1:43:52 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:43:53 AM): see
Aelix Farron (1:43:57 AM): will you stop and listen to me for a second
Aelix Farron (1:44:01 AM): and stop being so full of yourself
Croc5001 (1:44:11 AM): no, thats the way i am
Aelix Farron (1:44:20 AM): that's not an excuse and that's not a reason
Aelix Farron (1:44:22 AM): you're intelligent
Aelix Farron (1:44:26 AM): that means you're capable of listening
Croc5001 (1:44:38 AM): whatever, go ahead
Aelix Farron (1:44:43 AM): why don't you care
Aelix Farron (1:44:47 AM): why don't you care at all
Aelix Farron (1:44:53 AM): how come i mean absolutely nothing to you
Aelix Farron (1:45:02 AM): when i would throw myself in front of a bullet for you
Aelix Farron (1:45:18 AM): oh let me guess
Aelix Farron (1:45:31 AM): because that's the way you are. and i'm stupid and naive to fall for somebody like you.
Aelix Farron (1:45:32 AM): is that it
Aelix Farron (1:45:39 AM): whatever i say you're just going to blow me off
Aelix Farron (1:45:41 AM): even by saying that
Aelix Farron (1:45:48 AM): i've got to say you've got it covered
Aelix Farron (1:45:51 AM): can't go wrong
Aelix Farron (1:45:56 AM): but i know what you're trying to do
Aelix Farron (1:46:00 AM): you're trying to make me angry with you
Aelix Farron (1:46:04 AM): you're trying to make me hate you
Aelix Farron (1:46:09 AM): and it's not going to happen
Croc5001 (1:46:29 AM): can i talk now
Aelix Farron (1:46:34 AM): i didn't say you couldn't.
Aelix Farron (1:46:40 AM): and as if i have any control over you anyway.
Croc5001 (1:46:42 AM): yeah you did
Aelix Farron (1:46:47 AM): nope. never said that.
Croc5001 (1:46:52 AM): so are you ready for my rebuttal
Aelix Farron (1:47:07 AM): no. i'm not.
Aelix Farron (1:47:11 AM): because it's going to crush me.
Aelix Farron (1:47:17 AM): because i know that's what you intend to do.
Croc5001 (1:49:19 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:49:27 AM): but say it anyway.
Aelix Farron (1:49:31 AM): because if you're going to kill me
Croc5001 (1:49:32 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:49:33 AM): kill me all the way
Aelix Farron (1:49:34 AM): no
Aelix Farron (1:49:36 AM): fucking tell me right now
Aelix Farron (1:49:38 AM): what you were going to say
Croc5001 (1:49:47 AM): too late
Aelix Farron (1:51:42 AM): i'm sorry.
Croc5001 (1:51:51 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (1:51:58 AM): good answer.
Aelix Farron (1:52:21 AM): so i'm guessing you never want to see me again.
Aelix Farron (1:52:30 AM): because i was just a plaything.
Aelix Farron (1:52:50 AM): it didn't mean anything when we sat there on the floor together when the power went out and i read the song you wrote
Aelix Farron (1:53:21 AM): it didn't mean anything when we drove around for an hour in your car listening to sleep and drove through the park
Aelix Farron (1:53:36 AM): and it didn't mean anything when you took me to the movies that first time and made me the happiest girl in the world.
Aelix Farron (1:53:47 AM): because it wasn't real
Aelix Farron (1:53:50 AM): and i should have known better
Croc5001 (1:54:02 AM): no your my friend but thats it, but if your not i dont care...and i dont care
Aelix Farron (1:54:10 AM): but i put trust forward because i believe that some day something good will happen
Aelix Farron (1:54:18 AM): and it never does.
Aelix Farron (1:54:31 AM): so my friendship doesn't mean anything to you either
Croc5001 (1:54:31 AM): when i told you nothing would happen you should have stopped
Aelix Farron (1:54:40 AM): so it was entirely me
Croc5001 (1:54:40 AM): nothing means anything to me
Aelix Farron (1:54:46 AM): it's entirely MY fault that i fell for a guy who KISSED me
Aelix Farron (1:55:04 AM): it's entirely MY fault for thinking that SOMEBODY could actually LOVE me
Aelix Farron (1:55:25 AM): if nothing means anything to you, steve, then why do you bother
Aelix Farron (1:55:29 AM): why do you bother living
Aelix Farron (1:55:37 AM): why do you bother making so many people love you
Aelix Farron (1:55:41 AM): it doesn't even out
Croc5001 (1:56:41 AM): because i waqnt everyone to feel the cold i feel. i think everyone should
Aelix Farron (1:57:01 AM): no, steve, i don't think that's it at all.
Croc5001 (1:58:40 AM): ok
Aelix Farron (2:00:38 AM): steve, will you please stop
Aelix Farron (2:02:01 AM): i'm sorry i messed up.
Croc5001 (2:02:18 AM): you didnt mess anything up
Aelix Farron (2:02:22 AM): yes i did.
Aelix Farron (2:02:31 AM): i messed up because i cared.
Aelix Farron (2:02:34 AM): i shouldn't have done that.
Aelix Farron (2:02:37 AM): i'm sorry.
Aelix Farron (2:02:40 AM): i should know better.
Aelix Farron (2:02:51 AM): you just basically reinforced a lesson that i should have learned a long time ago.
Aelix Farron (2:04:40 AM): i know you don't care, but everything you did to me, no matter how much you used me, no matter how wrong it was, and no matter how much of a lie it was, it still means something to me.
Croc5001 (2:05:14 AM): thats fine
Croc5001 (2:05:32 AM): and its ashame it couldnt have lasted till i left
Aelix Farron (2:05:41 AM): and why can't it
Croc5001 (2:06:33 AM): well if you want it to i can do it
Aelix Farron (2:06:42 AM): what do you mean
Aelix Farron (2:07:01 AM): steve, you seem so totally oblivious to the fact that the reason this isn't lasting isn't because of me
Aelix Farron (2:07:04 AM): it's because of you
Aelix Farron (2:07:29 AM): I'M not mad at you
Aelix Farron (2:09:04 AM): you keep making it sound as if it's my fault this is ending
Aelix Farron (2:09:09 AM): well, whatever it is that's ending
Croc5001 (2:09:48 AM): no its not your fault i havent said that at all
Aelix Farron (2:09:58 AM): you implied it several times
Aelix Farron (2:10:03 AM): Croc5001 (2:06:33 AM): well if you want it to i can do it
Aelix Farron (2:10:08 AM): as if i'm the one who didn't want to
Croc5001 (2:10:08 AM): im a cruel and horrible person and im ending this and its gonna hurt you which means i got everything i wanted out of it
Aelix Farron (2:10:21 AM): who hurt you, steve
Aelix Farron (2:10:44 AM): who told you that.
Croc5001 (2:10:45 AM): i cant even remember but i know what your getting at
Aelix Farron (2:10:50 AM): what am i getting at.
Croc5001 (2:11:08 AM): your gonna be like oh someone hurt you so now your out to hurt others
Aelix Farron (2:11:12 AM): no.
Croc5001 (2:11:19 AM): and its either that oh im jsut a crazy horrible bastard
Aelix Farron (2:11:21 AM): that's not what i was getting at at all.
Aelix Farron (2:11:23 AM): no.
Aelix Farron (2:11:36 AM): i'm not judging you.
Aelix Farron (2:11:42 AM): i know right now i should hate you
Aelix Farron (2:11:57 AM): or whatever normal reaction people have after this
Aelix Farron (2:12:01 AM): i don't even know
Aelix Farron (2:12:22 AM): i just want to talk
Aelix Farron (2:12:24 AM): can we do that
Aelix Farron (2:12:26 AM): can you talk to me
Croc5001 (2:12:39 AM): what do you want me to say?
Aelix Farron (2:12:54 AM): i don't want you to say anything
Aelix Farron (2:12:58 AM): i'm not here to demand some kind of response from you
Aelix Farron (2:13:22 AM): i just want to know what you're looking for
Croc5001 (2:13:39 AM): a blue haired midget asian
Aelix Farron (2:14:02 AM): why do you avoid the question
Croc5001 (2:14:15 AM): im telling you the truth
Aelix Farron (2:14:18 AM): no you aren't.
Aelix Farron (2:14:21 AM): you're blowing me off
Aelix Farron (2:14:24 AM): okay well fine
Aelix Farron (2:14:28 AM): i'm not going to get an answer out of you
Croc5001 (2:14:32 AM): i want a asian midget
Croc5001 (2:14:34 AM): thats all
Aelix Farron (2:14:37 AM): but goddamn you are the bloodiest piece of glass i've ever tried to pick up
Croc5001 (2:15:32 AM): im a vcr funeral of dead memory waste, you can see it in my face
Aelix Farron (2:16:38 AM): well
Aelix Farron (2:16:39 AM): damn.
Aelix Farron (2:16:43 AM): you're worse than justin.
Aelix Farron (2:16:46 AM): and that's saying a lot.
Aelix Farron (2:17:11 AM): but i guess you don't know and / or care about what i'm saying because i didn't tell you everything and you probably don't even remember or understand the little bits and pieces i DID tell you
Aelix Farron (2:17:21 AM): but the thing is, steve
Aelix Farron (2:17:37 AM): well nothing i say is going to make any difference
Aelix Farron (2:17:39 AM): because you don't care
Aelix Farron (2:18:30 AM): look, i'm sorry.
Aelix Farron (2:18:34 AM): i'm sorry about whatever happened
Aelix Farron (2:18:47 AM): and i'm sorry that i fell for the same stupid trap and let you get away with it
Aelix Farron (2:18:49 AM): i'm smarter than that
Aelix Farron (2:18:56 AM): but apparently i'm too stupid to help you
Croc5001 (2:19:34 AM): help me what?
Aelix Farron (2:19:46 AM): you don't care anyway
Aelix Farron (2:19:51 AM): why bother explaining
Aelix Farron (2:19:54 AM): and you're just going to say okay fine
Aelix Farron (2:20:03 AM): so it really doesn't matter what i have to say
Aelix Farron (2:20:24 AM): ironic that you were the one who would always say, "oh, never mind, you don't care" when you'd start talking about something you're interested in.
Croc5001 (2:21:03 AM): ...yeah, ironic
Aelix Farron (2:21:47 AM): i don't know if that was supposed to be sarcasm
Aelix Farron (2:21:49 AM): because if it was
Aelix Farron (2:21:57 AM): that was quite a stupid thing to say.
Aelix Farron (2:22:53 AM): not that you care one way or another, ay.
Aelix Farron (2:22:58 AM): but look
Aelix Farron (2:23:05 AM): this is like deja vu for me
Aelix Farron (2:23:11 AM): and this is the reason i was attracted to you
Aelix Farron (2:24:25 AM): i thought i could make a difference but it never even got that far where i could say anything to help
Aelix Farron (2:24:29 AM): and i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (2:24:30 AM): that's my fault
Aelix Farron (2:24:34 AM): i should have known better
Aelix Farron (2:25:13 AM): but i don't even think you're listening to me anymore.
Croc5001 (2:25:30 AM): i am
Aelix Farron (2:26:44 AM): you don't know what love is, do you?
Croc5001 (2:26:57 AM): yeah i do
Aelix Farron (2:26:59 AM): what is it
Croc5001 (2:28:37 AM): its when you want to spend every waking moment with someone, no matter what they say its like angels are singing it and you would rather rot in hell and be tortured for all eternity than to ever harm physically or mentally a single part of there being or betray them at all
Aelix Farron (2:29:11 AM): so in your mind you are incapable of feeling that.
Croc5001 (2:29:21 AM): no i lvoe people
Aelix Farron (2:29:32 AM): then everything you've been telling me earlier is a lie.
Croc5001 (2:29:58 AM): no i love my family, you have to
Aelix Farron (2:30:06 AM): no. you don't have to.
Aelix Farron (2:30:11 AM): and that's not the kind of love i'm talking about.
Croc5001 (2:30:13 AM): buts thats not the type i was speakingof
Aelix Farron (2:34:43 AM): well i'm tired of playing the shadow game with you
Aelix Farron (2:34:51 AM): you're just another one of those people who doesn't want to be helped
Aelix Farron (2:34:56 AM): doesn't matter what i could offer you
Aelix Farron (2:35:03 AM): you're just going to refuse
Aelix Farron (2:35:05 AM): and i'm sorry
Aelix Farron (2:35:51 AM): but i will leave the door open and the light on for you
Croc5001 (2:35:51 AM): no sweat, ill chat with ya some other time
Aelix Farron (2:36:01 AM): you're not that stupid, steve
Aelix Farron (2:36:04 AM): quit trying to be stupid
Aelix Farron (2:36:20 AM): i know who you are now
Aelix Farron (2:36:35 AM): you pretty much just betrayed everything about you in this entire conversation
Aelix Farron (2:36:39 AM): and it all makes sense now
Aelix Farron (2:36:41 AM): i know i look stupid
Aelix Farron (2:36:49 AM): and i know i walked into this whole being used thing willingly
Aelix Farron (2:36:53 AM): but i did it because i just wanted to help
Aelix Farron (2:37:02 AM): and i deluded myself that i could make some sort of difference
Aelix Farron (2:37:21 AM): you can deny it all you want but you're hurting, someone fucked you up, and you're looking for something, and everything that gets in your way is fair game
Aelix Farron (2:37:25 AM): you're doing the SAME EXACT THING he did
Aelix Farron (2:37:32 AM): you're the kind of person i fall for
Aelix Farron (2:37:36 AM): and you're the kind of person that kills me
Croc5001 (2:37:42 AM): see i knew you were getting to that
Aelix Farron (2:37:47 AM): getting to what
Croc5001 (2:38:00 AM): no one in my life that i can remember fucked me over
Croc5001 (2:38:05 AM): im not hurting in anyway
Aelix Farron (2:38:17 AM): all right, fine.
Aelix Farron (2:38:27 AM): so you're saying that when your parents got divorced
Aelix Farron (2:38:33 AM): that didn't affect you in any way, shape, or form
Croc5001 (2:38:48 AM): nope, but i used it as an excuse to get bad grades and it worked
Aelix Farron (2:39:01 AM): i see.
Aelix Farron (2:42:13 AM): well i can't blame you
Aelix Farron (2:42:17 AM): i did it too
Aelix Farron (2:42:20 AM): it's the easy way out
Aelix Farron (2:42:29 AM): and i'm very very ashamed for fucking up so horribly in school and using that as an excuse
Croc5001 (2:42:44 AM): im not
Aelix Farron (2:42:47 AM): apparently it's not a mark on your conscience
Aelix Farron (2:42:48 AM): yeah.
Aelix Farron (2:43:01 AM): you're interesting.
Aelix Farron (2:43:13 AM): like, the exact opposite of me.
Aelix Farron (2:43:19 AM): all my life i've felt guilty about everything
Aelix Farron (2:43:29 AM): whereas you don't give a fuck one way or another with anything
Aelix Farron (2:43:52 AM): hm.
Aelix Farron (2:43:54 AM): weird.
Aelix Farron (2:44:08 AM): well hey um
Aelix Farron (2:44:16 AM): i don't want to call you anymore
Aelix Farron (2:44:18 AM): because you don't like that
Aelix Farron (2:44:25 AM): so if you decide you're bored and have nothing better to do
Aelix Farron (2:44:29 AM): call me up when i get back
Aelix Farron (2:44:32 AM): and i would like to talk to you
Aelix Farron (2:44:37 AM): in person
Aelix Farron (2:44:53 AM): or would you rather just avoid me until you leave and be done with me entirely?
Aelix Farron (2:44:58 AM): i don't know how people like you work
Croc5001 (2:45:11 AM): nah im unique
Aelix Farron (2:45:18 AM): i'm sure you'd like to think that.
Aelix Farron (2:45:22 AM): we all do.
Aelix Farron (2:45:41 AM): would you humor me and answer my question
Croc5001 (2:45:53 AM): lay it on me
Aelix Farron (2:45:58 AM): what?
Aelix Farron (2:46:06 AM): i already asked you.
Aelix Farron (2:46:08 AM): you didn't answer.
Croc5001 (2:46:15 AM): what question
Aelix Farron (2:46:20 AM): Aelix Farron (2:44:16 AM): i don't want to call you anymore
Aelix Farron (2:44:18 AM): because you don't like that
Aelix Farron (2:44:25 AM): so if you decide you're bored and have nothing better to do
Aelix Farron (2:44:29 AM): call me up when i get back
Aelix Farron (2:44:32 AM): and i would like to talk to you
Aelix Farron (2:44:37 AM): in person
Aelix Farron (2:44:53 AM): or would you rather just avoid me until you leave and be done with me entirely?
Aelix Farron (2:46:29 AM): pay more attention, the world is slipping by and you're going to miss it, steve.
Croc5001 (2:46:39 AM): then the answer is no
Aelix Farron (2:46:54 AM): so you would rather NOT avoid me entirely
Aelix Farron (2:47:04 AM): or you WOULD
Croc5001 (2:47:05 AM): well so are you, all coped up in your room all the time
Aelix Farron (2:47:18 AM): i pay attention.
Aelix Farron (2:47:28 AM): and i'm not cooped up in my room as much as you think.
Aelix Farron (2:47:32 AM): boundaries are where you lay them.
Croc5001 (2:47:38 AM): whatever go to sleep, bye
Aelix Farron (2:47:46 AM): so wait
Aelix Farron (2:47:51 AM): you don't want to see me again anymore?
Aelix Farron (2:47:57 AM): is that what you said?
Croc5001 (2:48:03 AM): fuck you ill decide later
Aelix Farron (2:48:06 AM): why are you angry at me?
Croc5001 (2:48:19 AM): im not
Aelix Farron (2:48:25 AM): then why are you being so harsh?
Aelix Farron (2:48:28 AM): i'm just asking an earnest question
Aelix Farron (2:48:34 AM): i'm not being a bitch
Aelix Farron (2:48:38 AM): i think i have a right to know
Aelix Farron (2:48:44 AM): after all this shit you just put me through and laughed about
Croc5001 (2:49:03 AM): ask any of my friends and they will tell you im blunt and just a horrible guy. thats me
Aelix Farron (2:49:11 AM): i don't care what your friends say
Croc5001 (2:49:20 AM): nor do i
Croc5001 (2:49:23 AM): but their right
Aelix Farron (2:49:24 AM): and no matter how many times you try and beat it into my head that "omg i'm such a horrible guy" i'm not going to think that
Aelix Farron (2:49:32 AM): so stop staying it because for once i don't care what you say when it comes to that
Aelix Farron (2:49:41 AM): i listen to everything
Aelix Farron (2:49:43 AM): and i listen to YOU
Aelix Farron (2:49:46 AM): whether you care or not
Aelix Farron (2:49:51 AM): but that is just a bunch of bullshit
Aelix Farron (2:50:08 AM): maybe based on everyone else's standards you're a manipulative controlling jackass
Aelix Farron (2:50:24 AM): i don't judge people
Aelix Farron (2:50:27 AM): i told you that right off the bat
Aelix Farron (2:50:36 AM): you are you and i understand and accept that
Aelix Farron (2:50:49 AM): whether or not you care is up to you
Aelix Farron (2:50:51 AM): and you know that
Aelix Farron (2:50:52 AM): and i know that
Croc5001 (2:51:13 AM): dont you have to go to sleep
Aelix Farron (2:51:23 AM): apparently you're done talking to me.
Aelix Farron (2:51:32 AM): so SORRY i'm intruding on your precious time
Aelix Farron (2:51:39 AM): because obviously i have nothing important to say
Aelix Farron (2:51:51 AM): i wonder if you're ever even going to realize what you just had right now
Aelix Farron (2:52:15 AM): but whatever
Aelix Farron (2:52:16 AM): you don't care
Aelix Farron (2:52:19 AM): and i talk too much
Aelix Farron (2:52:35 AM): but here somebody is offering to give you everything you ever wanted
Aelix Farron (2:52:42 AM): even if you didn't know you wanted it
Aelix Farron (2:52:47 AM): or even if you really just don't
Croc5001 (2:52:50 AM): what do i want then?
Aelix Farron (2:52:57 AM): but i am offering to give my life up for you, entirely, without any hesitation
Aelix Farron (2:53:01 AM): i am offering to be here for you
Aelix Farron (2:53:04 AM): no matter what you do to me
Aelix Farron (2:53:07 AM): and you don't give a shit
Aelix Farron (2:53:21 AM): because it's all just a game to you
Croc5001 (2:53:42 AM): life is a game and im cheating and im winning. so whatever
Aelix Farron (2:53:42 AM): i have to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow but YOU are a priority
Aelix Farron (2:53:50 AM): what are you winning, steve.
Croc5001 (2:53:59 AM): your the one crying and im not
Aelix Farron (2:54:03 AM): i'm not crying.
Aelix Farron (2:54:10 AM): and i don't see how that makes you a winner.
Croc5001 (2:54:56 AM): that and i know im gonna have a future with many people while your so fucking scared of not having anything
Aelix Farron (2:55:35 AM): i knew it.
Croc5001 (2:55:48 AM): so ta-da you win
Aelix Farron (2:55:54 AM): no
Aelix Farron (2:55:57 AM): nobody wins
Aelix Farron (2:56:03 AM): especially not you
Croc5001 (2:56:41 AM): get off the godamned computer
Aelix Farron (2:56:56 AM): why?
Croc5001 (2:57:57 AM): im done talking to you, when i need a quick pick me up ill talk to you later
Aelix Farron (2:58:12 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (2:58:22 AM): wow.
Aelix Farron (2:58:26 AM): that is so pathetic.
Aelix Farron (2:58:57 AM): you want ME to get off the computer because YOU are done talking to me, after ALL this shit you've just done to me, i'm STILL here with open arms to you, you walk all over me, slap it in my face, and make FUN of me for taking the bait in the first place
Aelix Farron (2:59:31 AM): and you turn down my offers of letting me still have some kind of affection towards you
Aelix Farron (2:59:36 AM): and yet you expect me to still be here anyway
Aelix Farron (2:59:39 AM): when you FEEL like it
Aelix Farron (2:59:41 AM): that is so amusing
Aelix Farron (2:59:42 AM): lol
Aelix Farron (2:59:53 AM): fine, whatever, steve, since the world revolves around you, i guess i should just leave
why did i even try.
i need to sleep. or something. because if i don't, i'm going to do something very, very stupid, and it's taking everything in my power to keep myself from doing it right now.
so bye.