LifeUpdate: 35 and still alive.

May 11, 2009 00:37

Figured since I hit a major milestone, should give a brief snapshot.

Just got back home from spending a week housesitting a 3 story, swiss chateau with 2 harps, 2 cats, 1 hen, and thousands of magic books and dozens of lithographs. It was a great state break from the normal routine. I figured out that the criticals that make home feel like home, fit into 2 trips by foot: portable heat, inflatable bed, laptop, extra monitor, tea, and clothes. It feels good to be back home though, already miss the pets.

DANCING WITH TRAFFIC
last week while running across the street, to avoid blocking traffic (pedestrian auto tango). My favorite pen..dropped out of my trusty black hardback art binder, ringlike embrace. An hour later reaching to jot down an revelation I had the additional revelation I was missing the pen. Walked the path back, and in it was shattered into a thousand brilliant shards from the cars, quite pretty like shimmering diamonds in the bright summer sunlight, a fitting end. Thankfully I buy my favorite pens by the case, and had a spare in the car ;)

What's amusing, is how much of a space cadet I was when it happened. Shortly after reaching the pavement, 3 coworkers heading at 90 degrees of called out. They were only 15 ft away and I never saw them... so distracted of late.

ODE to GEEK GLASSES
Lots of things seem to be breaking hopefully with equally happy, replaceable endings. Just today after the week house sitting for friends, my geek glasses seen in the icon picture also decided to come apart. This time in a manner that can't really be rectified with superglue (which has happened 2x), and despite my love of MacGuyver, I really am not so hard up I have to resort to ducktape. Sigh I DO have other pairs of glasses but I feel like I'm looking at the screen through binoculars, and I do miss my old glasses a little. I've had them since 2000, a shift from being ubernerd to trying to be more hip geek. They've seen a lot. Many jobs, many relationships, many miles, many smiles, family deaths, graduations, and at least 20 trips up and down the I5.

They were so scratched up, the 'clear' plastic had gotten yellow. Since I wear them all the time I am rarely aware of what the world looks like without them on. It was on a trip up the I5 I was thinking "wow the sky really is polluted out here!..I thought it was just LA" took off my glasses and realized, they double as BlueBlockers. The sky really is still blue.

I got flak for wearing them all the time. "How can you see out of those". Truthfully, I didn't fully. It was memory-echolocation, as I'm so focused/monotonous don't go down that many new streets so really rarely need to read details at at distance. They had a nice blur quality, creating halos out of any point source. That made it impossible to spend so much time analyzing everything visually and just accepting. It was like life was my own private 70's TV show.

Putting the pieces in the case that protects my 'newish' glasses, and hearing the lid snap shut. It never occurred to me how cases meant to protect but have coffin like attributes as well. What is the afterlife for glasses? to come back as disposable contacts? telescopes?

WORK:

I have given verbal notice at the company I'm and will be switching back to consulting. It's been 3 years, and frequently difficult ones at that, and though not a good time for the company for me to make this decision, it's the only one for me to make...else I really will be dancing with traffic.


My long term goal was by age 40 to be a multi-millionaire and change identities from troyworks to troyplays. That's still the general plan.

I know I have severe blindspots, so the only way I can measure progress is by setting long term deadlines. For the current company a year ago I gave myself a deadline of my 35 birthday, if things hadn't grown dramatically to move on. In that time, I have learned so much, I have filled a book on things I would do differently, now have a better picture of what I want, where I didn't have a picture at all really before. Sadly I have turned negotiating with things outside of my control into a part time job. There are much better hobbies to have Since I've stopped learning useful things so it's time to move on.

This isn't the first time I've gone solo, though like any change there is a mix of trepidation and excitement. In the age of increasing transparency and social media it's a pleasant surprise to have a 'brand' of sorts already built from just being me and doing what I do and even more surprising for an introvert a community to tap into. I've gotten several inquiries, before I take the leap! In the middle of a recession, this is very comforting, and it's nice to be okay with being an oddball.

I've been building stuff since I was like 4, and lately I find myself so burnt out so I don't want to build anything for anybody...that's not supposed to happen! So plan on taking some time off to recover, after the coffers are built up a little. Toying with Argentina for a few months.

Historically I've been good at creating products but intentionally clueless about the other aspects. So I've been spending a lot of time in the last few months learning marketing. Which overlaps with cogsci, copywriting, business plans, market research, competitive strategy, pricing, testing, analytics, tons of fresh stuff. It's been an eye opener, a bit like the pickup artist community, a hidden language that goes on all the time, and why some people are successful and others aren't despite doing almost the same thing.

The internet is a timemachine of sorts, and we live in a very interesting time where the internet is a snapshot of several different ages of marketing, web 1.0 dinosaurs, web 2.0, social media + HDTV + 1 to 1 communication all going on at the same time. The difference between web 1.0 and web 1.1, 1.2 can have profound impacts on businesses. Like from losing 10K a month to making a million dollar+year business.

CORE STRENGTHS ARE ALSO ACHILLES HEELS

While normally I'd just jump into another long gig, I think this is going to be the last conventional startup I work directly at...I'm not even sure I want to code much anymore. For my own projects I've realized Creativity is a drug, and I realize I am a abuser, so don't trust myself. My new mantra is: Cashflow and simplicity is king. No invention. So working on simpler shorter mostly info products (Muses in 4HWW parlance), with few less points of failure, less team requirements.

Part of what inspired this is I've met online or at conferences enough that have gone this route, some multi-millionaires, but many that earn 4K-30K a month, working 2hr-15 hrs a week (if that) once rolling. It really isn't that hard given how accessible markets and cheap products are. I'm almost kicking myself for not learning this stuff earlier...I might be farther along in my own grander ideas.

Anyway the next 6 months will be entertaining.

SOCIAL
what's that?

There have been many changes here at the Ogdorm. L,B,and soon another will have left a few blocks away. We still have 3 of the 8 units. If you are looking we make great company :)

I've been dating off an on, mostly off, but when on having fun.

oh, I'm on twitter more out of curiosity than commitment. It will be low frequency pithy or snarky if anything at all. Not "I just wiped my nose!" etc. You're welcome to follow along.

Personal: @troy_gardner
Flash related: @troyworks http://www.troyworks.com/blog/
Marketing related: @troynotes http://www.troynotes.com

HEALTH
Aging sucks.

Recently self-diagnosed with Rosacea.> Sometimes known as 'adult acne' A common red flushing of the face, that plagues many millions of humans. It just started showing out of nowhere, a date mentioned it and I just like many mistook it for sunburn. I'm currently lucky that it doesn't affect my entire face..just the nose. Since it's novel, I oscillate between humorous detachment at how at times when flushed I look like a bit like Rudolph the red nosed engineer. And freaking-out in fucking horror though the issue is slight relative to what it can become(W.C. Fields...)...which isn't life threatening even at the worst.

Reading up on the net, I'm still amazed at how little is known about amazingly common condition. I'm convinced if we were a few hundred years ago in the dark ages, despite the amazing advancements, we've only graduated to the dark grey ages in the area of health. The profit incentive to medicine seems to eliminate some areas of research.

Thankfully there is hope in the community with good moderators, trying everything and reporting back. In particular on my list is lysine+C supplementation, something I'm highly likely to be deficient in being a vegetarian for so long, and not even knowing how to track these things, or even how.

Anyway hope yall are well and thriving.

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