(no subject)
I am a very angry person. That's why I have this problem with being too polite - I want to make sure the anger stays inside because letting people know how I feel, believe it or not, is the opposite of communication. Because pain is a word. It's trivial, a signifier. It doesn't hurt. Anyone can say "pain". As in "I feel your pain". No you don't! And that's why I let myself be bullied by people. When I lived with the other girls and they would leave pieces of meat lying around, I would try to not look at what they're cooking, but sometimes they would leave a corpse defrosting right on my fucking tapperware. And when I see a pile of chicken breasts, I think "holocaust". When I see a piece of a cow or a pig, I hear the screaming. And there is no way I can communicate the screaming to them with trivial, insignificant words.