Holiday Ficlet #7: "Like A Bird Without Wings" [BSG]
Title: Like a Bird Without Wings
Characters: Gaeta, Adama
Pairing: Gaeta/The Fleet
Wordcount: ~600 words
Summary: The day the Admiral forbade Lt. Gaeta to star in any more porn movies was a day of great sadness in the Fleet.
Author's Note: Originally written for the Icon Meme I did in September. geekbynight prompted me to write fic for the icon I used for this entry, and I wrote her this. Yes, this is crack.
Like A Bird Without Wings
The day the Admiral forbade Lt. Gaeta to star in any more porn movies was a day of great sadness in the Fleet.
"It isn't open for debate," Adama had said in his low threatening voice, focusing on Gaeta although it had been Dee, sorting through paperwork in a corner of his office, who'd turned and opened her mouth in shock. "I can't have my officers distracted by pornography..."
"We prefer the expression 'adult film acting, sir," Gaeta had said and, blushing in the face of Adama's raised eyebrows, hurried to add, "Never mind, sir."
"Dismissed," Adama had said, and what could have been a great career ended prematurely. The Aphrodite cult on the Zephyr went as far as to perform a ritual of loss, and hundreds of believers pilgrimaged there between two Cylon attacks to pray to the gods and ask for guidance in this time of despair. The President and Dying Leader was not available for comments.
Three weeks later, Galactica ran out of porn.
"We've just got no inspiration left, no sir," said Phineas Hobbs, the Fleet's most experienced producer, who was said to have filmed his debut between Jump #127 and #128 in that frantic first week. "Without Gaeta there, none of them porn actors have no focus anymore. Can't get it up all the way, if you know what I mean." And after an awkward moment of pause-- "Adult film actors. Them's what I mean."
Moral was soon low. As the pilots fought to keep their eyes open during CAPs with nothing new to occupy their tired minds, the deck crew started making glaring errors, and Dee forgot to account for not one but two ships during one panicked jump away from enemy fire.
Scripture says that what had the Admiral reach his tether was when both of these ships showed up again, undamaged, and breathlessly reporting-- "They let us go, Galactica, repeat: They let us leave. They agreed to negotiate, and we managed to make a deal and all. I can't believe we're still alive!"
"Mind telling us what it was that's suddenly so valuable to them, Scylla?" Tigh grunted into the mic ominously.
There was a pause.
"Uhm," the Scylla's commander said uncertainly, in the tone of those who know they're about to become a lot less popular. "Sir. There, uhm. There were some huge Gaeta fans on that basestar, sir. Looks like they'd picked stuff up by radio. They hadn't seen the last couple of parts of the Orgy In Hades series, see, but we, well, still had some copies on our harddrives that we'd forgotten to delete..."
"That's enough!" Adama barked, making the CIC flinched collectively. He twisted around, his eyes dangerously narrowing when they fell upon Gaeta. "Establish contact with the film industry in this Fleet. I want a room on C-Deck prepared for them, stat. Mr. Gaeta, I expect you down there involved in at least an orgy when I come check on you." He paused, adding in a mutter, "Those jump coordinates better get done on your break."
"Aye, sir!" Gaeta snapped at attention, giving the Admiral a wide-eyed look before getting the hell out.
It was a joyous day for the Fleet when the Admiral ordered Lt. Gaeta to star in more movies. The porn industry flourished, and humanity escaped unscathed yet again.
Adult film industry.
That.
Characters: Gaeta, Adama
Pairing: Gaeta/The Fleet
Wordcount: ~600 words
Summary: The day the Admiral forbade Lt. Gaeta to star in any more porn movies was a day of great sadness in the Fleet.
Author's Note: Originally written for the Icon Meme I did in September. geekbynight prompted me to write fic for the icon I used for this entry, and I wrote her this. Yes, this is crack.
Like A Bird Without Wings
The day the Admiral forbade Lt. Gaeta to star in any more porn movies was a day of great sadness in the Fleet.
"It isn't open for debate," Adama had said in his low threatening voice, focusing on Gaeta although it had been Dee, sorting through paperwork in a corner of his office, who'd turned and opened her mouth in shock. "I can't have my officers distracted by pornography..."
"We prefer the expression 'adult film acting, sir," Gaeta had said and, blushing in the face of Adama's raised eyebrows, hurried to add, "Never mind, sir."
"Dismissed," Adama had said, and what could have been a great career ended prematurely. The Aphrodite cult on the Zephyr went as far as to perform a ritual of loss, and hundreds of believers pilgrimaged there between two Cylon attacks to pray to the gods and ask for guidance in this time of despair. The President and Dying Leader was not available for comments.
Three weeks later, Galactica ran out of porn.
"We've just got no inspiration left, no sir," said Phineas Hobbs, the Fleet's most experienced producer, who was said to have filmed his debut between Jump #127 and #128 in that frantic first week. "Without Gaeta there, none of them porn actors have no focus anymore. Can't get it up all the way, if you know what I mean." And after an awkward moment of pause-- "Adult film actors. Them's what I mean."
Moral was soon low. As the pilots fought to keep their eyes open during CAPs with nothing new to occupy their tired minds, the deck crew started making glaring errors, and Dee forgot to account for not one but two ships during one panicked jump away from enemy fire.
Scripture says that what had the Admiral reach his tether was when both of these ships showed up again, undamaged, and breathlessly reporting-- "They let us go, Galactica, repeat: They let us leave. They agreed to negotiate, and we managed to make a deal and all. I can't believe we're still alive!"
"Mind telling us what it was that's suddenly so valuable to them, Scylla?" Tigh grunted into the mic ominously.
There was a pause.
"Uhm," the Scylla's commander said uncertainly, in the tone of those who know they're about to become a lot less popular. "Sir. There, uhm. There were some huge Gaeta fans on that basestar, sir. Looks like they'd picked stuff up by radio. They hadn't seen the last couple of parts of the Orgy In Hades series, see, but we, well, still had some copies on our harddrives that we'd forgotten to delete..."
"That's enough!" Adama barked, making the CIC flinched collectively. He twisted around, his eyes dangerously narrowing when they fell upon Gaeta. "Establish contact with the film industry in this Fleet. I want a room on C-Deck prepared for them, stat. Mr. Gaeta, I expect you down there involved in at least an orgy when I come check on you." He paused, adding in a mutter, "Those jump coordinates better get done on your break."
"Aye, sir!" Gaeta snapped at attention, giving the Admiral a wide-eyed look before getting the hell out.
It was a joyous day for the Fleet when the Admiral ordered Lt. Gaeta to star in more movies. The porn industry flourished, and humanity escaped unscathed yet again.
Adult film industry.
That.