today
hmm..... life is going. haven't quite figured out where its going yet. I have lost my drive. lost sight of my goals. now i just waste away. What have i become? a loser. thats what i am. I sit around most of the day. i am still taking high school classes. all my friends probably laugh at me when i am not around. HHmmmmm..... where is life going. where am i headed. I don't know what to do. my life is beginning to swirl out of my control.
life. what is it? can we control it? are we meant to follow a set path from the beginning? or is it molded and shaped by experiences and beliefs? if given another oppurtunity would we be doomed to repeat the same mistakes? say the same lines? lose the same battles? fight the same wars? why can we forget things we want to remember, but not forget things we wish to never remember? why do the same memories haunt me? why can't i think of something else? why does the world spin? why do i feel like i am spinning the other way? what am i supposed to do? where am i supposed to go? am i really destined to lose all the time? Why don't i care? why did she leave? why can't i forget? why are we here? why do we conform ourselves to societies mold? why go to school everyday? why is money valuable? why is a diamond different than a pebble? why do we define ourselves with our religions? why do we die? why do we love? what is love? is love meant for everybody? are some of us caught in an unending spiral where there is no love? doomed to wander the earth searching in the wrong spots? asking the wrong questions? meeting the wrong people? Does everyone fail at least once? why do we propel some to greatness? why do we leave others in poverty? is a rich man with no friends richer than a poor man with friends? what is a poor man with no friends? what is a loser? what is a winner? is this world meant for us? is there anything else left to discover? why do we kill? why do we steal? why do we lie and cheat? why can't we be satisfied with giving our best and being honest? what happened to honor? what happened to codes of conduct? what happened to maturity? what happened to chivalry? why can't i be happy? can anyone truly ever be happy? can anyone actually reach the point where they don't want anymore? why did i quit? is the world collapsing? why is my world pulling itself in? why did i let my walls come down? why did i care? why did i think things would be different? why did i think i was allowed to be happy? why did it take me so long to realize the truth? am i that naive? why did i fall into the trap? why did i love her? why can't i stop?
why?
i know that was kind of weird. sorry. but i was just trying to get that outh of my system. i'd like it if someone commented. its kind of lonely around here. umm.... don't get to freaked by all the questions. sorry.
life. what is it? can we control it? are we meant to follow a set path from the beginning? or is it molded and shaped by experiences and beliefs? if given another oppurtunity would we be doomed to repeat the same mistakes? say the same lines? lose the same battles? fight the same wars? why can we forget things we want to remember, but not forget things we wish to never remember? why do the same memories haunt me? why can't i think of something else? why does the world spin? why do i feel like i am spinning the other way? what am i supposed to do? where am i supposed to go? am i really destined to lose all the time? Why don't i care? why did she leave? why can't i forget? why are we here? why do we conform ourselves to societies mold? why go to school everyday? why is money valuable? why is a diamond different than a pebble? why do we define ourselves with our religions? why do we die? why do we love? what is love? is love meant for everybody? are some of us caught in an unending spiral where there is no love? doomed to wander the earth searching in the wrong spots? asking the wrong questions? meeting the wrong people? Does everyone fail at least once? why do we propel some to greatness? why do we leave others in poverty? is a rich man with no friends richer than a poor man with friends? what is a poor man with no friends? what is a loser? what is a winner? is this world meant for us? is there anything else left to discover? why do we kill? why do we steal? why do we lie and cheat? why can't we be satisfied with giving our best and being honest? what happened to honor? what happened to codes of conduct? what happened to maturity? what happened to chivalry? why can't i be happy? can anyone truly ever be happy? can anyone actually reach the point where they don't want anymore? why did i quit? is the world collapsing? why is my world pulling itself in? why did i let my walls come down? why did i care? why did i think things would be different? why did i think i was allowed to be happy? why did it take me so long to realize the truth? am i that naive? why did i fall into the trap? why did i love her? why can't i stop?
why?
i know that was kind of weird. sorry. but i was just trying to get that outh of my system. i'd like it if someone commented. its kind of lonely around here. umm.... don't get to freaked by all the questions. sorry.