2 years and counting
So, on this day, 2 years ago, Hurricane Katrina came into my life. How I love and hate that bitch.
So much about that disaster changed me in ways I was completely unprepared for. And it brought into my world nightmares like Steven King would give his left nut for, and people whom I love with all my heart. It has been a strange journey away from those waters and that wind damage. On this anniversary I still find myself wanting to vomit whenever I see the AP footage plastered on TV and I hear the speeches that the politicians gave in the wake of this debauchery. I had to abandon my grocery shopping this evening because the TV in the cafe section of my grocery store was showing a Katrina rememberance. I don't like this feeling. And I dislike even more that I can't put my finger on what it is...something akin to disgust, and anguish. A healthy dose of helplessness. And something like crushing sadness.
And it isn't the only life changing event since the storm happened. I understand now what the christians must have felt like BC and AD and being around for the transition. (I keed) But seriously, my life has been divided into sections by the events of it. I have before 9/11. I have Pre-Katrina. I have Post-Katrina. And those are just the disaster timelines. I also have deaths to commemorate. Before Jeff, after Jeff, before Dave, after Dave, before Lily's Dad, after Lily's Dad, before Lana, and NOW. I am tired. I feel alone. I believe that I can't cry anymore until with no notice I burst into sobbing hysteria and crumble into a pile on the floor.
Katrina, you have my soul, in a vice. I have no choice but to remember you and the things you took away from people I love, and from people I will never know. I will never be able to forget the visions that you gave me. The suffering, the anguish, the dispair, and the resilience. I will continue to remember and to allow myself to break down when I need to, and to allow myself to cry. And I will remember that each day is precious and fleeting. I will use your impact to hold close the one's I love, and to tell the people in my world how valuable they are. And I will continue to live, becuase that is the only option.
So much about that disaster changed me in ways I was completely unprepared for. And it brought into my world nightmares like Steven King would give his left nut for, and people whom I love with all my heart. It has been a strange journey away from those waters and that wind damage. On this anniversary I still find myself wanting to vomit whenever I see the AP footage plastered on TV and I hear the speeches that the politicians gave in the wake of this debauchery. I had to abandon my grocery shopping this evening because the TV in the cafe section of my grocery store was showing a Katrina rememberance. I don't like this feeling. And I dislike even more that I can't put my finger on what it is...something akin to disgust, and anguish. A healthy dose of helplessness. And something like crushing sadness.
And it isn't the only life changing event since the storm happened. I understand now what the christians must have felt like BC and AD and being around for the transition. (I keed) But seriously, my life has been divided into sections by the events of it. I have before 9/11. I have Pre-Katrina. I have Post-Katrina. And those are just the disaster timelines. I also have deaths to commemorate. Before Jeff, after Jeff, before Dave, after Dave, before Lily's Dad, after Lily's Dad, before Lana, and NOW. I am tired. I feel alone. I believe that I can't cry anymore until with no notice I burst into sobbing hysteria and crumble into a pile on the floor.
Katrina, you have my soul, in a vice. I have no choice but to remember you and the things you took away from people I love, and from people I will never know. I will never be able to forget the visions that you gave me. The suffering, the anguish, the dispair, and the resilience. I will continue to remember and to allow myself to break down when I need to, and to allow myself to cry. And I will remember that each day is precious and fleeting. I will use your impact to hold close the one's I love, and to tell the people in my world how valuable they are. And I will continue to live, becuase that is the only option.