(no subject)
And so it seems that friendship means nothing. Everyone, or at least a LOT of people have told me to live my own life, to move past my friendships. They had told me that my friends will move on, that my friends will go to college, move away, never come back . . . . That my friends will move on to bigger and better things and that I will be left in the dust. . . sitting here along in Erie. And for a long time I ignored that advice. I said "No! my friends will not leave me. Look, look! My friends are going to school here, my friends are looking for jobs here. . . and even if mny friends do move away we will still be close. . . . . . because we have a connection. . ... . . . . .. . .. . . . because we have. . . . .. . ."
And here I am. Here I am. Granted I am here with my best friend of all, Pat. But anyone will admit that one friend, not even one best friend is enough. Here I am wondering where all my friends have gone. One moved on. One moved on to grad school, to bigger, better things. She moved and she probably will never come back. We jest. But we have to eventually face the fact that there are no high-paying jobs here, let alone pharmaceutical research facilities.
and after almost 13 years, my other best friend decides to spite me because the bartender i work with is burnt out and thus a bitch. Ha. Yeah, if i could work up the nerve i would tell everyone off. Hell, after 20 years of doing that job i might even shoot the place up. You dont understand until you do it. No one does, no one can, no one will.
My eyes water, no, my eyes tear up. I am sad. I am hurt. I am hurt that my best friend can't be straight forward with me. I am hurt.
I think I am even more hurt by the fact that the predictions that everyone else made, not only on my life but towards life in general, have come true. Being young i thought i could defy those odds. Of course, i can't. But I thought. . . .
We all think, we all aspire. . . . fruitless.? perhaps not.
And here I am. Here I am. Granted I am here with my best friend of all, Pat. But anyone will admit that one friend, not even one best friend is enough. Here I am wondering where all my friends have gone. One moved on. One moved on to grad school, to bigger, better things. She moved and she probably will never come back. We jest. But we have to eventually face the fact that there are no high-paying jobs here, let alone pharmaceutical research facilities.
and after almost 13 years, my other best friend decides to spite me because the bartender i work with is burnt out and thus a bitch. Ha. Yeah, if i could work up the nerve i would tell everyone off. Hell, after 20 years of doing that job i might even shoot the place up. You dont understand until you do it. No one does, no one can, no one will.
My eyes water, no, my eyes tear up. I am sad. I am hurt. I am hurt that my best friend can't be straight forward with me. I am hurt.
I think I am even more hurt by the fact that the predictions that everyone else made, not only on my life but towards life in general, have come true. Being young i thought i could defy those odds. Of course, i can't. But I thought. . . .
We all think, we all aspire. . . . fruitless.? perhaps not.