(no subject)
Things have been driving me crazy lately. I feel like nothing is certain. I dread going to work everyday and I want to get out of this job as soon as possible. It's really too hard for me to be the extremely outgoing, sales type. I know its a non-profit, but I have to market our free services to the whole community and it just overwhelms me so much. I feel like I don't do a good job, especially after I messed up at the first workshop. For the life of me it is so hard to be organized. I am dreading my perforamce review in 2 weeks. I am afraid I am going to get a big fat "Needs Improvement" for everything in my job description. I am going to all out say it: This job sucks. Not only is my car being worn to the bone, but in the end, my paycheck (most of the time) is lower than what I would make at Target, because I work for less hours with more money, and Target would be more hours for less money. Now that's fucked up. I was going to make 20,000 a year, but after taxes, I don't even want to KNOW how much I really make. How the hell am I supposed to move out to D.C. and afford it on this salary? So I am going to start looking for jobs again after 6 months, which means mid-January, and then hopefully have another job after a year (mid-August). I am already going back to Target to work Friday nights to start and will probably pick up other night shifts. Thank God I did not leave Target for good.
I am also becoming so resentful of my parents. Now that I have an older boyfriend, I have to hide it from my dad, and my mom doesn't want me spending the night with him when he comes here anymore, and I can't drive to see him in southern Maryland because my car insurance is in my parent's name and they are afraid I am going to get into an accident again. How is it that I am 22 and being treated like I am twelve?
So I need to move out sooner than I thought. Hopefully in the late winter, February/March around there. Not just cause of guys, but because I am really beginning to feel suffocated. It's like they won't let me grow up. I am going to buy a tiny tiny house in Chesterfield and hopefully the mortgage payments will not swallow me whole. Then I can rent it out whenever I move to the D.C. area and that can pay the mortgage.
I looked on Monster.com, and my degree is worth 35,000 dollars. That means I should be making AT LEAST that amount. I am being jipped out of 15,000 dollars or more. Man I am so frustrated and demoralized.
I am also becoming so resentful of my parents. Now that I have an older boyfriend, I have to hide it from my dad, and my mom doesn't want me spending the night with him when he comes here anymore, and I can't drive to see him in southern Maryland because my car insurance is in my parent's name and they are afraid I am going to get into an accident again. How is it that I am 22 and being treated like I am twelve?
So I need to move out sooner than I thought. Hopefully in the late winter, February/March around there. Not just cause of guys, but because I am really beginning to feel suffocated. It's like they won't let me grow up. I am going to buy a tiny tiny house in Chesterfield and hopefully the mortgage payments will not swallow me whole. Then I can rent it out whenever I move to the D.C. area and that can pay the mortgage.
I looked on Monster.com, and my degree is worth 35,000 dollars. That means I should be making AT LEAST that amount. I am being jipped out of 15,000 dollars or more. Man I am so frustrated and demoralized.