Ho Hum ....
Dad has been home since tuesday, I havnt seen him since just after new years, it's good to see him. But I've been at work heaps and I don't even get to spend a day with him the whole time he's home at the moment. But he should be back from Jakarta in about a month for 5 days. The Joys of being a military family...
Things with the boy have me a little on edge at the moment.. Feeling a touch unwanted and kinda pathetic for wanting to be with someone again... But to me, he's worth it so I'm going to just suck it up and take everything slower than we started and one day at a time...
Although I almost made a very big mistake last night, it's not something that i am really proud of, but meh, I am only human and I've been feeling really hurt and undesirable for about a week now... I'm only human. And just wanted to feel wanted... I didn't do anything wrong, but I shouldn't play with someone elses mind just because I feel like crap...
TWO days in a row my relief shift hasn't shown up... NOT fucking impressed... 12 hours yesterday and 9 and a half hours today, If I didn't care about my manager and the fact i would be broke very fast, I would have quit this weekend...
But at least I got my hair cut and coloured and I feel somewhat normal again.. I've got to see and talk to dad, which has just helped so much, but we don't really get to talk because I'm always at work or mum is around, and we just can't talk when she's around it's nigh impossible... I spoke to Carlos last night! Oh my god it felt so good, i felt so good, it seems whenever Im having serious boy troubles and NEED good advice and understanding, he's there. We've known each other about 6 years now, and we've hardly talked since his first boy was born, but whenever we've needed to tell the other something or i've just needed the dirty old mans advice, we've just been there. it's like we have some kind of psychic connection that spans from here to New York. I swear that in a parallel universe, he's 5 years younger, I'm 5 years older and we're a hell of a lot closer....
Things with the boy have me a little on edge at the moment.. Feeling a touch unwanted and kinda pathetic for wanting to be with someone again... But to me, he's worth it so I'm going to just suck it up and take everything slower than we started and one day at a time...
Although I almost made a very big mistake last night, it's not something that i am really proud of, but meh, I am only human and I've been feeling really hurt and undesirable for about a week now... I'm only human. And just wanted to feel wanted... I didn't do anything wrong, but I shouldn't play with someone elses mind just because I feel like crap...
TWO days in a row my relief shift hasn't shown up... NOT fucking impressed... 12 hours yesterday and 9 and a half hours today, If I didn't care about my manager and the fact i would be broke very fast, I would have quit this weekend...
But at least I got my hair cut and coloured and I feel somewhat normal again.. I've got to see and talk to dad, which has just helped so much, but we don't really get to talk because I'm always at work or mum is around, and we just can't talk when she's around it's nigh impossible... I spoke to Carlos last night! Oh my god it felt so good, i felt so good, it seems whenever Im having serious boy troubles and NEED good advice and understanding, he's there. We've known each other about 6 years now, and we've hardly talked since his first boy was born, but whenever we've needed to tell the other something or i've just needed the dirty old mans advice, we've just been there. it's like we have some kind of psychic connection that spans from here to New York. I swear that in a parallel universe, he's 5 years younger, I'm 5 years older and we're a hell of a lot closer....