L3tTiNg Go foReVeR.

[tropiicxoswetii]

Letting go of my girls so they can be happy is going to be one of the hardest things i will ever have to do. I dont know how im going to do this, but i have to. I don't want them to lose each other, at all. Just thought it would be nice for us all to be friend's. But i guess that can't happen. Even tho im crying my eye's out, those two have taught

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[perfectxoflaw]

Yeah well I read your journal entries and I ain’t gunna say much about it because of the fact that: 1) I’m in school right now and I don’t have the time or the patience to write everything that I feel right now & 2) I don’t know where to start and I’m not even sure I wanna go there. All I will say is that you should do what you want, and I guess this is your way of dealing with it, but that’s not even what makes me mad. What does make me mad is the fact that *you* were the one who was saying all this stuff about Erin when I was over there and everything else, saying how much you hated her and stuff like that. So yeah, that’s initially what set me off, and that’s why I kept getting quiet, but I didn’t wanna say anything because I didn’t want us fighting or being mad at each other the entire day that we were at your grandma’s house. *Then* you go and tell me online that I don’t care and that I never have, when we all know that’s a straight up lie, and then you say *f-you* to me. Ooh gee thanks, Kristin. This comes from my supposed best friend, and I guess I never knew that you could be that way and say that to someone you supposedly love more than anything, but okay. Not only that, but not even an hour later you try apologizing and telling me you love me and everything else. You of all people should know by now that I don’t work that way. When someone starts something with me and then tries to say sorry and act like nothing ever happened, I don’t go right back to them and blow it off like it didn’t bother me. It may be nothing and no big deal to you, but it means a lot to me, and if the fighting kept on, maybe that’s a sign trying to say that it’s not meant to work out and we aren’t meant to be friends. On the other hand, if we keep going back to each other, that means that we are, but I can’t take the constant fighting and forgiving, fighting and forgiving, fighting and forgiving. I can’t deal with that anymore and I’m sick of acting like everything’s okay when it’s not. Not only did you say that, but you go on and say all that stuff in your journal about how you’re the strong one letting us go to make us happy, when you’re the one who got me mad in the first place. You’re trying to make yourself out to look like the *good guy* here and make me look like the one who’s making you “let us go.” As I recall, I’m the one who sent that email to Erin saying that I was gunna let you two have each othe cuz I was sick of being left hurting all the time. I never said that you had to get outta the picture or anything like that, but you do have to understand that I’m very protective of her and I don’t want anyone to hurt her, and you think you can say whatever you want to her and expect it not to hurt me. I’m sick of sitting there all the times that she’s helped you and then you turn around and backstab her and act like all she’s done is made you worse. I’m sick of you getting into mine and her fights and making them into something bigger than it has to be. Last weekend wouldn’t have gotten so out of control if you wouldn’t have said half the stuff that you did, and you can’t be mad at her for that, because she was saying it in defense. But you know what, I’m out. Do what you want. Think what you want. Say what you want. I honestly don’t care anymore, and I don’t think I will ever again. Like I said, nothing I do is ever good enough, so I’m gunna stop trying to please everyone around me when they don’t appreciate what I do for them and what I give up and the pain I put myself through just so they’re content and smiling and whatever else. Well I’m gunna get going to the library, so yeah. I hope you’re happy. Good luck with Shawn. Talk to you never, I guess, or at least that’s how you’re making your journal sound. So I guess this is goodbye. See ya around school next year, I guess. If I don’t move, but I’m starting to wish we are. But yeah, byes.
-sLs

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[tropiicxoswetii]

Okay first off, i said that i would take all the blame for it all, and second i aint trying to act like the good guy. I know i hurt you and im sorry that. Nothing i do is right either stacy. And not only that but you don't know how much it hurt's for me to be here and try and make everything okay and help you and make things better, but im sick of it too. Im sick of the fight forgive shit too. Im sick of everything. I don't know what you wanna do with your life. But see there you go again, blaming the shit that happened with Erin on me! Her telling me *someone who you call your best friend* to fucking die along with my boyfriend, and oh its okay erin! Bullshit. Im sick of it stacy. Sick of everything. Im sick of being the backup the second person, the one that's there when she leaves, she cuts your forgive her, did i ever cut? No but if i did i would be gone forever, out of your life. Im sorry you love her more than me, but i aint blaming any of this shit on you. I do know how you work, and thats why i gave up stacy, sorry i wanted you guys to fucking be happy, oh and i talk shit about erin? Ha sweetie when you guys get into a fight if i recall its been i hope she fucks up her life and does have a baby, and i fucking hate her. Oh but i say shit? Hmm, your overprotective of her? gee thanks STACY! I just don't understand you anymore, i didnt say that i wanted it that way, i said i gave it up because i knew i hurt you and that i wasnt gunna try and fix something that i cant fix. Theres to much that has been said behind peoples backs, and shit that's been said. And not only that but the fact that you shes your everything kills me. I would never mean that if i said it about shawn, i mean yeahs hes been there and hasnt left my side, yeah we fight but we make up deal with it, and move on. Something that's never happened with you. I dont care what happens from here, because i wont be here to see it happen, tonight i leave for someplace that no1 but shawn knows about. Just like no1 knows whats going on with you other than *erin* i aint trying to say stuff about you.. or erin! But i just cant take it anymore, you guys wanna be best friends, best of freaking luck. But you cant say i havent been there for you, and you cant say that i didnt care. But you can think whatever you want. If i didnt care i would have let you cry the other day, and the days ive seen you cry. If i didnt care i wouldnt have been there when erin hurt you, when your hurt i wouldnt have called. Everything would have been different. Sorry everything we had was a fake, but for the fact of you not being able to tell me shit that aint my fault. You want me out of yours and erins relationship thats fine. But dont expect me to come running back. That's your job this time. You may be mad at me, but im hurt that you could even act like this is all my fault. But whatever it doesnt matter anymore, even if i didnt mean goodbye for the last time, you did. Do whatever you want, be whoever you want. BEst of luck in life, and goodluck with Jaii. I hope your the one that's happy, i aint. I know that for sure, when im sitting here in tears i don't think i could lie to you and say that i am happy, but whatever. Im out. Have fun. And just so you know, even if you don't move, i wouldn't count on seeing me next year. But yeah, not like anyone care's.
-Kristin x3

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[tropiicxoswetii]

Oh yeah and not only that having erin IM me and bitch at me because you can't? You want me out of your freindship tell her to stay the fuck outta this fight, its between me and you and not her!!!!! AND dont go telling her to say shit about how online shit sucks.. Hmm kinda saying that about you and jai dont ya think? Oh yeah gotta love how she's sucking up with the screennames and shit.. cant wait to see her next idea. Not only that but dont think you see the shit that she did to you and hurt you and made you cry, hmm stacy im sick of this shit. You want me out of your life for good umhm tell her to stay the fuck outta mine, and that means dont talk to me or shawn or lindsey.. alright? alrite. Well yeah. If you wanna comment back you can but i aint making you. kind sick of everything that happened with us because of the fucking shit erin has just said to me, i thought i was supposed to be your *bestfriend* im starting to wonder if you faked that two, best friends work everything out and dont fight like we do. Whatever Erin's more important to you? Then take her and run, because inless you wanna start working this shit out i aint coming back. You gotta start working it out before i will ever fucking try, ive tried every fucking fight we've had and we've gotten fucking through um, but now i think its your turn to fucking take a step up and try and fix one that ain't worth fixing, because if i aint worth your time, then we'll see who the one trying to keep the friendship was and the one that gave up just because it would be easier. I aint coming back this time. You can if you want, and i will most likely forgive you because of the shit we've been through is kinda to much to give up, but whatever. Have fun. And not only that but i hope everyhting goes good with you and erin because *YOU* deserve the best, wouldn't call her the best when she did half that shit to me and you don't even fucking care! I can't beleive that you have nothing to say to the fact that she told me and shawn to fucking die after all the shit she said that you didnt fucking care? Hmm show's how much i meant to you. Well yeah *post back if u wanna* otherwise im out. Buhbiiez.
x3 Kristin Nicole