X-posted to a forum journal.

Feb 06, 2006 21:30

Perhaps it was because i moved a lot, perhaps it is because i never saw the need to conform and perhaps it was because i was independant, but a certain type of person has always reacted badly to me.

This type of person is usually close minded, with a 'my opinion or the highway' attitude which definetly rubs me the wrong way. This type of person has always dealt with their dislike of me in an immature way.

First there was Baden, who grew up to be like a brother to me, but was very immature when i met him at the age of 12. Both new to the school, and both Army kids, living in the same Army Patch, Both artistic, Both teachers pet and both topping our year 7 class, he immediately had a problem with me. When I discovered his problem, i avoided him, he resorted to throwing sand at me and verbal abuse. Luckily, he got over it, expanded his mind and as stated earlier, are close friends.

In year 11 i went through a seriously down period where almost everybody was shut off from my life. I was irritable and ready to explode at the first person to piss me off- i hated it, so i avoided anyone likely to make me upset, especially when they were my friends- i didnt want to explode onto them. unfortunetly, in doing this i isolated my real friends from the 'people who sat with us' ie- the fake friends. By year 12, we were distinct groups sharing one spot. The 'others' dealt with me by bitching LOUDLY about one of my best friends infront of me, and getting shirty if i said anything to defend her, literally sitting down with their backs to me to blocking us from the group and hacking into my personal accounts to try and turn a mutual friend against me.

I don't claim to be high and mighty. I have done some pretty shitty things in my time. But the way these people dealt with their problems, especially with me, was immature and while Baden outgrew it, i doubt the 'squibs' from my late highschool days will. Things like spreading rumours, stalking someone online*, or stupid little jabs at someone about stupid things that don't really make sense prove that one doesnt have a brain and can't think of more productive ways to channel the anger or hatred they feel. I always thought the lowest form of insult was to comment on ones appearance, status or family- i mean, how is telling the world that a screen name i have, or a journal i keep is stupid, a sign of maturity or meant to prove that one is any better than i? Please, and this has already been done, though in many different crude ways, uif you are to insult me, indicate that you atleast KNOW me, and insult a flaw that i know i have. Thats how one can hurt me- though, not many people know my deepest insecurities- i sure don't write them in public journals like these.

I've learnt from a young age that i have to stand up for myself and my friends, and that letting someone 'bully' you or anyone else is as bad as telling that 'bully' that they are doing the right thing. I am vocal, and just as opinionated as the next person, I am not one to hide behind false values.

<< Hmm. I forgot to friends cut this, and i dont think i want to.>>
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