(no subject)

[tropical_life]

so basically everything is going great.
boys suck but they always have
friends are the best they have ever been
church is my number one and its been like the best its ever been lately
i cant wait till the retreat.
i talk to my grandma daily and even though i cant hear her
i usually know the response she would give me.
i miss her more than anything in this world and i wanna see her again
usually i just close my eyes but for some reason my memory of what she looks like is fading
its sad to say that and i wish it wasnt true but i used to see her everyday and now
i cant see her at all.
church has helped me cope alot with that and talking to chris is the best
since we both went through the same thing this summer its alot easier to talk to him
while talking about chris i feel horrible, he means so much to me and we were i guess "talking" for like 8 months all together i feel bad i never gave him a chance and now my dad like hates him. but sometimes i feel we are better off as friends.
its hard to cope with the fact that there is things i want but cant have ive never been the one to give up but i finally am.
i guess things have changed in life and other things were meant to be.
i trust god will help me through all this.
bed time:]