Rage Against the Author: Part One
Fandom: My own dysfunctional one
Title: Rage Against the Author
Warnings: Original Characters. That's pretty much the first thing anyone cares about anyways. First post / fanfic on LJ as well. Chapter also contains heavy clothing description.
Author's Notes: This isn't to be taken seriously. Like, at all. Feel free to flame, guys; I don't really care anymore, and neither do these guys. Based upon Final Fantasy, Slayers, Golden Sun, and other games / series with RPG elements. Also, the first fanfic I finally decide to dual post on FF.net and LJ is about my original characters. They're such spotlight hogs.
Summary: "No. You know what? I quit. Screw your story, I'm staying home." When original characters decide that enough is enough, they must go through their own fantasy quest just to be left alone. Crack.
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Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, the queen gave birth to twins. . .
Wait. Wrong story. Ignore that last line.
Ahem.
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a young woman. She was an artist; however, she made only enough to get by. She was also under a curse that turned her into a fox with cold water, and back with hot.
In Nerima, Japan, a blonde girl sneezed suddenly, careful to cover the design before her. She frowned, knowing exactly what was going on.
Her mother had died many years before; her father had disappeared long before then. Her family, though they had taken her in, did not like her, save for two of her cousins and her grandfather. A young man that proclaimed her as his goddess, though the woman thoroughly tried to get him to stop saying so, had also taken a liking to her. He too had a curse, though it was just the opposite of the woman's, changing from a fox into a human form.
"Oi, what the hell are you rambling about now? You realize no one but you actually care about who I am, right?" the girl, one Mariko Mizuki, asked, annoyed at being interrupted in her work.
. . .What, and you don't?
"Nope," she said, popping the 'p', and erasing a line on the drawing. "I'm busy; like you said, I'm 'only making enough to get by'."
The last sentence was punctuated with a small glare of annoyance in no specified direction. There was silence for a few seconds.
Oh, come on! You're my main character; if it wasn't for you, no one else would be here now!
"Yeah, well, again, I'm busy trying to make a pretty fan," she said, going back to concentrating on her drawing more, waving a hand at empty air. "I'm not doing anything for you. And hopefully not for a long, long time."
. . .You're my character. Which means you have to listen to me!
Mariko stopped drawing, freezing for a second. Then, she lowered her pencil, glaring at the ceiling in anger and crossing her arms tight against her chest. "No. You know what? I quit."
Quit?! You can't quit-you're needed in the story!
She continued to glare. "Screw your story, I'm staying home. Why don't you go bother one of your other characters? I'm not the only one you can pick on, you know."
"Yeah, you haven't thought about me in ages! I'm ready to murder someone!"
Mariko rolled her eyes. "Like you really need a reason to, Rei. . .you're a thief, a Spider. Did you not forget you massacred that entire clan? "
The newcomer grinned, brushing pink hair back from her face and matching colored eyes. "Yeah, yeah, don't you know the saying 'too much of a good thing'?" she stopped Mariko from saying that that wasn't how the saying was used by pointing at the ceiling. "And, I'm still waiting for you to finish James's profile so I can kill him again; have you even started on it?!"
Hey, stop breaking the Fourth Wall! Do you know how long it takes for it to repair?! And when the heck did you get here? Shouldn't you be. . .oh, I dunno, in a different universe?!
"Details, details," Rei waved off the annoyed tone directed at her. "Just send me the bill for the stupid wall, or whatever. I'm waiting."
No. It'll just be a wasted effort if you're just going to kill him again. Besides, he can't really die, considering he's still one of my characters.
"Like I care. That just makes it more fun to get revenge, if I know he'll never actually die."
. . .You're a very disturbing person, do you know that?
"You're the one who thought me up."
. . .Touché.
"Hey, guys, glad you're 'bonding' and all, but, can you all leave? I still haven't finished this drawing," Mariko said, making a shooing motion with her hands. Rei glared at her, irritated. No one shooed her away! "What? This is still my house; I deserve the right to kick you out before you decide to destroy it again. As usual."
I'm not leaving until I get my story!
"Why don't you use Rei? Or someone else?" Mariko gestured at the other person in the room. "I'm sure they'll be happy that you're actually using them in a story, besides that stupid alphabet one - shot you did. . ."
"Actually. . .we've got some complaints about that. . ."
Oh, what now?
"I'm actually going to have to agree with my 'creator' for once today," Mariko said, rubbing a temple. She idly wondered where Shiori was, so she could ask her to get her an aspirin. Or something for her growing headache. "What are you guys doing here? And without Yuki 'n Towa?"
Natsu smiled. "Oh, they're back at Kou and Nekoni's house. They didn't want to come with us, so they stayed behind."
Said demon cat crossed his arms, frowning. "I should have stayed behind, too; Towa might have needed me. . ."
Kou rolled his eyes, and rested his arm on Nekoni's head, getting an indignant shout from him in return. "Hey, you and I both know that Towa can take care of herself; and, it's not like Yuki hasn't fought before. They'll be fine."
Nekoni huffed again, but didn't reply to the older bat demon.
Um. . .hello? Busy trying to get Mariko to listen, here.
"Uh., . .hello? Not doing it, here," she replied, getting more and more annoyed with this. Really, was a single peaceful moment too much to ask for?
"Sorry. Sidetracked," Natsu said quickly, before they got into another argument again. Those usually lasted for quite a while before they ran out of steam. "Anyways, we-or, rather, I-wanted to ask you that you stop thinking of using me and Yuki in stories where we're split up and need a third party to find us. 'Cause, we really don't want to be separated."
"And would it kill you to fix Towa's problem?" Nekoni interjected. "I wanna see her fly again; is that too much to ask?"
. . .I'm not fixing her.
"Why you-!" Kou grabbed the back of Nekoni's jacket before the cat could break anything in Mariko's shop. "Leggo!"
Listen here, all of you. Two males looked up in slight interest, while the third fumed silently; on the other hand, one female looked on in boredom, the other in annoyance. You are all my characters, and as such, you have to listen to me, no matter what. Mariko, you're doing that damn story. Rei, get back to Meteor City. Natsu, I'm not promising you that you two won't be separated. And Kou, Nekoni, I'm not curing Towa. Go home.
The five of them shared one long look for a few seconds. Then Mariko crossed her arms, smirking. "Oh? And what if they don't want to? What if they refuse to do anything you ask until you give us what we want?"
Are you. . .are you rebelling against me?
"Maybe we are," Rei grinned, arms akimbo. This was turning out to be rather interesting. "Maybe we're finally fed up with you playing as if we're just toys."
This is mutiny!
"S'not mutiny if we never agreed to be part of your crew in the first place," Nekoni added, still frowning. Kou nodded.
Fine. You want out?
"Yes, please."
Alright. . .I'll give you out!
All at once, the room went dark. There was a pause, and someone coughed.
"Huh. I think we made her mad."
"Ya think?"
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Second chapter is pretty much halfway done, I think. And, I'm really serious about this not being taken seriously; this is being written for the lulz. And quite possibly to see how many RPG elements I can parody along the way.