grains of salt
woke up today hoping for a ride to walk but alas i must walk. thats ok though, all the more time to reflect. i can kind of see and i really do realize why i began drinking. i just wanted to feel numb. i wanted to feel lost from the crazy world that was in front of me. life through me one challenge after another and i said ok but im gonna be buzzed in the process. :SIGH: im just trying to figure out the reason for and why i went down that path of destruction, but you know what maybe i don't have to worry about that, maybe i shouldn't reflect upon that, i know that i should only move toward the future but they told me in detox its good to keep a journal and let everything out. but just like in the bible God told the woman to never look back and she turned to salt. I'm gonna start to never look back because you might as well let go, you can't take back what you've done. also whats bothering me is that i met this kid, he came down, i thought we had a blast, he said he had fun but i haven't heard from him since last night. I know its me being paranoid as usual or over analyzing everything, or maybe something just happened and he can't talk to me at the moment. :SIGH: i shouldn't even be worried about another person i should be focused upon myself for the time being. My coffee should be done. The Sky Is cloudy but im full of sunshine :D!