a wandering sleep deprived mind
haven't really updated in awhile
been laying low practicing and plowing through brothers karamazov a rather brilliant book when you figure out dostoevskys style
lesson today, i htink possibly the first real lesson of the summer, finally played through the malcolm arnold-the whole way through no stopping. i'mstarting to get excited for the audition there's only a few runs i need tosmooth out but it's getting to the point where i can get hit in the head bya brick and just rely on my arm to hit everything a rather comforting thought eh?
got to see natalie today, wow for nearly being three she's so tall! and starting to speakcoherently which is exciting. i remember when she was at the hospital after being born how tiny she was. it's amazing to think that she has already grown up so much. thrre years on october 29th
after that got to see jennie and we went to dinner and it was great to just talk and have cappucinos that tasted like pot eh?
but really it's the little things that i'm going to miss about iflorida. like driving at night on the deserted beeline with the music up high and knowing that there is still a fullstretch of road ahead. it's being able to stop by someone's house just to deliver strawberries for the hell of it
probably just the freedom of not really having any obligations and just being able to not have to think about what needs to be done.
it's the freedom of just being able to drive.
but also there's the freedom of being on your own which is so appealing
the feeling of having things to do of needing to get them done and being able to do it
although it dosent seem like it at tha time it's always nice to know that you must push yourself and stretch yourself to the brink of insanity
it's 4:30 in the morning and i can not sleep in excitement over interlochen (3 days)
what will it bring? what new dynamics are there? what predicaments will we find ourselves in? how we'll celebrate continualy but in a muted manner so not to disrupt from our studies because everyday being there is such a pleasure and such a gift.
how can one not sleep when they know that sleep brings them one day closer to their departure?
but how can they sleep with that same information?
how will one beable to stand the trip up there? how do you sit still for every minute kowing and not knowing what lies ahead? anticipation will be palpable even to that person having to sit next to you
nervous energy will permeate the planes atmosphere propelling it even more quickly to it's destination until apprehension kicks in-the headwind. oh what you would give not to have to face what lies ahead. the biting cold of the weather and eventually your thoughts the sleepless nights spent on studying and wondering. the treks across that arctic tundra called main camp
but oh! every moment is wonderful and every frigid blast of wind that stings your raw face is a slap of the present waking you up to tell you that you are at the most incredible place in the world.