brief ramblings from a girl trapped in her own equivocal mind
why is it easier to trust a complete stranger than someone closest to you?
is it because we are afraid that the end of the cathartic situation will be the loss of a close friend?
is it because the total stranger will hear you and then be out of your life forever...the ideal situation of course
or
is it because we are afraid of the truth? that we are afraid of hearing whatwe know yet insist on denying the inevitable.
we are afraid of being judged by someone that we care about and we are afraid of the consequences due to our vulnerability.
most people get lies but some people get the truth-of course it is in the most casual manner and only in passing. of course you will never see them again. they know nobody that you do.
but what if this stranger became a huge part of your life a bit down the road?
you ingore them and when you must speak or awknowledge each others presence your eyes plead for them not to say anything not to imply anything, in their actions or words. because although only you would understand the implication because you undertood it you were sure that everyone else did.
paranoia and breakdown.
but
what if they didn't
what if instead, through circumstances far out of your control you were forced into their presence continually until-somehow- they became your sole confidant and closest cohort?
what then?
is it because we are afraid that the end of the cathartic situation will be the loss of a close friend?
is it because the total stranger will hear you and then be out of your life forever...the ideal situation of course
or
is it because we are afraid of the truth? that we are afraid of hearing whatwe know yet insist on denying the inevitable.
we are afraid of being judged by someone that we care about and we are afraid of the consequences due to our vulnerability.
most people get lies but some people get the truth-of course it is in the most casual manner and only in passing. of course you will never see them again. they know nobody that you do.
but what if this stranger became a huge part of your life a bit down the road?
you ingore them and when you must speak or awknowledge each others presence your eyes plead for them not to say anything not to imply anything, in their actions or words. because although only you would understand the implication because you undertood it you were sure that everyone else did.
paranoia and breakdown.
but
what if they didn't
what if instead, through circumstances far out of your control you were forced into their presence continually until-somehow- they became your sole confidant and closest cohort?
what then?