Feeding the Sheep at the Vanilla Zoo
Coming out is such a trip. Before you've started along the path, you're deathly afraid everyone will hate you so you do everything you can to avoid them finding out. Every time I think of this, I remember a cute, older bully in highschool who would taunt me with "so, you wanna suck my dick?" each morning; he'd actually sit next to me and interject this into other conversation. I was so terrified and withdrawn then that I had no voice. I would just sit there hope it would just end quickly.
After you come out, you realize most people don't care and wouldn't notice if you marched by playing a tuba -- unless you happen to be playing a familiar tune. We have "code," hankies, flags, all sorts of signals we send each other in mixed company. But my personal favorite is just talking about it right in front of "vanillas." In fact, most people would be surprised just how far they can go on the spectrum of obvious language before a vanilla will snap out of their coma and take notice.
The fun part, though, is when you happen across someone with a clue or another player. Because then you can start tag teaming, or playing! :D In the meantime, we can amuse ourselves by taunting the sheep. I was reminded of this on Friday when my manager (who is remote, so we IM a lot) was signing off for the weekend. Playing in the Work exhibit of the zoo does require a bit of finesse, but only mostly at the beginning of breaking in someone new.
I've only been reporting to this person for a few weeks, so we're still in the process of poking at the limits. :) When he asked me whether I was married or had kids, I replied "No, still very single... but it's actually illegal for me to get married, so I don't worry about it so much." His reply was "Avoid it as long as possible, my friend." Hmm... a combination of "that didn't compute" and "hmm... he seems OK." But what got me thinking about it again was today's signoff: "Play safe this weekend." My Beast raised an eyebrow and the reply was immediate, "Of course. That's what negotiation is for! :D" He laughed, and we said farewell. Whenever I hear such laughter, my brain translates it to bleating --- "hahaha" becomes "baaaah!" This one seems cool so far, but I suspect we won't be sharing negotiation skills or hanky folding techniques anytime soon.
But it's not just about screwing with people. Successfully testing those barriers means I can pull the lever back on the filters and lower the defense shields. It means I don't have to worry about saying something awful and just be comfortable. I've reached a point where I don't like filtering my thoughts, and I find it exhausting to do so. If I can find ways to power down the sheilds and transcode the output, then I'm a much happy camper. :)
And each time I ferret out another cool person from the sheep herd, I think back to that bully. Now if someone comes up to me and asks "so, you wanna suck my dick?" I reach over, feel him up, and say "sure... right here or someplace a little less crowded?" Well, if he's hot anyway... I may be a slut, but I've got standards!
After you come out, you realize most people don't care and wouldn't notice if you marched by playing a tuba -- unless you happen to be playing a familiar tune. We have "code," hankies, flags, all sorts of signals we send each other in mixed company. But my personal favorite is just talking about it right in front of "vanillas." In fact, most people would be surprised just how far they can go on the spectrum of obvious language before a vanilla will snap out of their coma and take notice.
The fun part, though, is when you happen across someone with a clue or another player. Because then you can start tag teaming, or playing! :D In the meantime, we can amuse ourselves by taunting the sheep. I was reminded of this on Friday when my manager (who is remote, so we IM a lot) was signing off for the weekend. Playing in the Work exhibit of the zoo does require a bit of finesse, but only mostly at the beginning of breaking in someone new.
I've only been reporting to this person for a few weeks, so we're still in the process of poking at the limits. :) When he asked me whether I was married or had kids, I replied "No, still very single... but it's actually illegal for me to get married, so I don't worry about it so much." His reply was "Avoid it as long as possible, my friend." Hmm... a combination of "that didn't compute" and "hmm... he seems OK." But what got me thinking about it again was today's signoff: "Play safe this weekend." My Beast raised an eyebrow and the reply was immediate, "Of course. That's what negotiation is for! :D" He laughed, and we said farewell. Whenever I hear such laughter, my brain translates it to bleating --- "hahaha" becomes "baaaah!" This one seems cool so far, but I suspect we won't be sharing negotiation skills or hanky folding techniques anytime soon.
But it's not just about screwing with people. Successfully testing those barriers means I can pull the lever back on the filters and lower the defense shields. It means I don't have to worry about saying something awful and just be comfortable. I've reached a point where I don't like filtering my thoughts, and I find it exhausting to do so. If I can find ways to power down the sheilds and transcode the output, then I'm a much happy camper. :)
And each time I ferret out another cool person from the sheep herd, I think back to that bully. Now if someone comes up to me and asks "so, you wanna suck my dick?" I reach over, feel him up, and say "sure... right here or someplace a little less crowded?" Well, if he's hot anyway... I may be a slut, but I've got standards!