Culmination
Title: Culmination
Chapter: 19
Fandom: Jackass/Viva La Bam
Rating: R
Pairing: Bam/Johnny, Bam/Ryan/Johnny
Warning: Spoilers for Viva La Bam’s Fort Knoxville, Jackass 1 & 2...
Disclaimer: It’s fiction. Learn it, live it... love it.
Word Count: 2616
Beta: Abysmal Seraph, my darling...
Summary: A follow-up to the branding incident...
Author’s Note: Definitely my last update before moving (I keep saying that, do any of you believe me anymore?)...
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10,
Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18
Bang Bang
A warm, wet rain beat down around Johnny and despite the layers he was wearing, he shivered. Beside him Bam snorted and opened an umbrella before wordlessly holding it halfway over him. Knoxville shot him a startled look, but didn’t ask questions. Well, at least not about that. “Won’t Dunn be pissed when he wakes up alone at the hotel? Shouldn’t we have left him a note or something?”
“Maybe…” Bam commented distractedly as they came up on a crosswalk. Upon the signal flashing, he stepped forward. Johnny had to double time it to catch up with him. “…we need to talk.”
“…okay… where, when?”
“Beer first.”
Sighing, Knoxville decided that until Bam got what Bam wanted… it was fucking useless to talk to him. It was better to simply follow; maybe even distract himself by freaking out a few folks. As his eyes scanned the small crowds and sickeningly cute couples passing by, Knoxville tried to think up five second pranks. He quickly became sidetracked, however, by a couple of drag queens walking by. He hadn’t even realized he had been staring or that he’d craned his neck around to watch them walk away until Bam nearly crumpled to the sidewalk in laughter beside him. Beyond mortified to have been caught scoping out someone in front of Bam… let alone drag queens, Johnny did the only thing he knew to do in the situation and laughed right along with him. At least Bam hadn’t taken the stares seriously. And why was he acting fucking scared of Margera now anyway? Knoxville continued to chuckle even as that worry burrowed deeper into his thoughts.
***
Thirty minutes later, alcohol in hand, and the rain had only increased. Johnny spent all but thirty seconds arguing with Bam to use the god damn umbrella for himself when he realized it wouldn’t do any good. The bullets of water barely coursing over his heels, Knoxville reveled in the unusual sign of affection from the other man. And surprisingly, Bam didn’t withdraw the umbrella until they approached the doors of the hotel.
Once in the lobby, Bam made a show of shaking off the water like a mongrel dog. He smirked at Johnny as the droplets from his hair spatter across his shirt. “C’mon…” Bam nodded towards the elevator.
The door had barely slid shut when Knoxville threw caution to the wind and stepped up into Bam’s personal space. “What’s up with you?” He whispered as their lips inched closer.
“What’s up with you…” Bam parroted his words back at him.
It was gentle and sloppy all at once as Knoxville tilted his head and pressed his lips against the delicate bow of Bam’s mouth. He expected anything but what he got. Grocery bags dropped from Bam’s hands as he brought his arms up and around Johnny’s neck. In near mimicry, Knoxville let his own bags drop to the floor as his hands sought out Bam’s hips. Pressing his shoulders against the elevator wall, Bam thrust his hips forward groaning when Johnny’s finger dug harshly into hips.
Hesitantly dragging away from one another as the bell rang alerting them to the door opening, neither men spoke as another passenger climbed on and they ascended up to their floor. The hallway was bustling with couples and families leaving with packed suitcases as Knoxville led the way back to the room.
Once inside he avoided Bam’s gaze and sat the beer on the dresser. The sound of the shower let both men know that Dunn, pissed or not, was at least awake. A mirror caught Johnny’s reflection and he quickly looked away with a scowl on his face. When Bam slid up behind him, he immediately tensed up.
“Seriously, what’s up with you...?”
Knoxville could feel those crystal blue eyes raking over him in the mirror and it made him literally cringe. “Don’t, Bam…”
“Dude, what’s wrong with you lately?” Bam asked in concern. “Look, I’m not bitching at you or any of that shit… just tell me what the fuck is up with you…”
“Fucking Jeff… okay?”
Eyes darkening, Bam asked. “What about Jeff?”
“He just up and fucking leaves! Shit, I know you and Ry had to get back to West Chester and shit. But, he fucking left, Bam. He left me here alone here with fucking camera man. He starts this shit… and then what does he do?!” Knoxville’s eyes were blazing when he finally met Bam’s in the mirror. “Did I ever tell you the first prank he had me do?”
“…no.”
“He had me buy this cheap ass bullet proof vest, some hustlers, and a derringer… Do the math.”
“WHAT?!” The anger was more than apparent in Bam’s voice.
“Yeah… we make him a fucking millionaire… and he can’t even spend a week here with my sorry ass.” Johnny raised his fist to punch the mirror. Bam wrapped a hand around his wrist barely stopping him; before pulling Knoxville’s arm down to his side. Johnny wanted to escape the eyes that were boring into him, even if it was just through his reflection, but he couldn’t look away. He couldn’t look away as Bam tugged his t-shirt up revealing a chorus of bruises yellowing on his stomach. Knoxville’s only reaction was to curl his lips at the sight.
“Was this for him? Or for you?”
“…him.”
***
The door closing and opening was the first thing to catch Ryan’s ear. Resisting the urge to climb out of the stall and storm the two men, Dunn closed his eyes and relaxed under the pulsating water. At least they hadn’t torn each other apart… or so it seemed. There wasn’t any yelling or breaking glass, so he surmised that all was well. A quick turn of the faucet and the water slowed to a drip then nothing. Ryan carefully stepped out of the shower and onto the cheap hotel mat. It was quiet. Way too fucking quiet. Wrapping a towel around waist, Dunn stepped out of the bathroom. Across the room, Bam and Johnny were talking so quietly that he had to inch closer.
“…there are things I haven’t told you...” Knoxville mumbled, pressing his cheek to his shoulder as he averted his gaze.
Ryan could see Bam clenching and unclenching his fists. He watched them both closely. It was pretty obvious that neither had noticed him yet.
Bam released his stomach and reached up to run the back of his hand over the arch of Johnny’s neck. Nosing his hairline, he asked. “What haven’t you told us… me?”
“It’s fucking stupid…”
“What is it?”
Placing his hand over Bam’s and pressing them harder into his collar, Knoxville sighed. “I... Jeff… if the three of us hadn’t…”
“Would you rather…” Bam cleared his throat and inhaled sharply against Johnny, “…be with him?”
Knoxville burst out laughing. It caused Dunn’s gut to clench. That was so not a fucking good sign. He moved to step in.
“Are you fucking kidding, Bam?!” Johnny turned to face him, but stopped abruptly upon seeing Ryan approaching. “… Ry… I…”
“Would you?”
“Hell, no! I’m just a fucking paycheck to him… you think he gives a shit about me? I’ve been here in Miami for weeks… and you two were the only ones that even gave a damn.” Silently, Bam walked over to the bed and sprawled across it face down. Knoxville watched him the entire time. “Please don’t get all dramatic about this… I don’t want him anymore…”
His voice muffled in the comforter, Bam replied. “Jeff called us…”
“Wait, what?!”
“Jeff called us.” Dunn clarified. He looked Johnny square in the eye.
“That doesn’t change anything… he could have stayed here with me… he didn’t.”
“Why did you even want to fucking stay?! Why would you want him to?!” Bam’s exterior finally broke. Voice raised, he sat up on the bed and continued. “You could have gone home… you could have come up to West Chester with us…”
“Because I don’t want it to fucking end… Both of you swore you’d never do a sequel… you only fucking agreed to do this one if the other did it… Fuck knows, there’ll never be a number three. This is it. It’s fucking over. We’ll drift apart and I’ll never fucking see either of you again….”
Bam opened his mouth to argue, but stopped when Ryan’s hand flew up and pointed directly at him. Glaring, he fell back onto his elbows on the bed. The pout on his lips was more pissed off than anything.
“Look, Johnny…” Ryan glanced between him and Bam. “I know what you are feeling… these last two years of my life… were exactly that. Sure there was shit filmed between the end of Bam’s show and Number Two… but things had changed. Fuck, he and I hardly even spoke to one another off camera… until we came to film with you… Fuck.” He ran his fingers though his wet hair in frustration.
On the bed, Bam looked on in shock. His attention was now focused solely on the blonde. “You’re the one who stopped speaking to me!” He defended.
“Shit, of course I was! Why would you have wanted to speak to you, when you had your fucking Life Partner?!” Dunn’s voice came out louder and angrier than he’d intended. Shoulder slumping, he looked over at Knoxville who had suddenly grown quiet. “Damn it… I’m sorry.” He glared at Bam. “We’re sorry… this is about you… we both need to shut the fuck up about our own issues.”
“No…” Johnny replied almost bashfully. “It actually puts things in perspective… I mean, here I’m acting like you two are the perfect couple and I’m intruding and fucking shit up… but…”
Finishing his sentence, Bam mumbled, “…we aren’t.”
Knoxville tore into the beer and handed each of them one before grabbing one for himself. “We need beer. Badly.” He slid against the dresser until he was sitting on the floor. Ryan turned to grab himself some clothes, but Johnny called out after him. “Fuck it… just sit your ass down… you too, Bam, get off the bed.”
They both sat across from him with timid smiles on their face as they sipped their beers. After quickly downing his first one, Knoxville spoke. “We really need to clarify some shit, you know?”
“Yeah…” Ryan mumbled as he tried to get comfortable on the floor. Bam was leaning up against the bed… and Johnny against the dresser. He didn’t want to give either the wrong idea by sitting next to the other, so here he sat back aching with nothing to lean on… trying to stay focused on their conversation.
“Bam…” Knoxville began. “This jealousy thing… it’s got to fucking stop. Or… this stops.” Hurt flashed over Margera’s face before he blanked it out with a loud swallow. Opening another beer, Johnny kept on. “There’s going to be times when I’m… not faithful…” He looked over at Ryan. “… it’s not how I’m built… I’m sorry.”
Bam started to stand, but Dunn grabbed his arm. “Sit… please? Storming off won’t help shit.”
Falling back to the floor, Bam bowed his head and stared at the floor. His half drank beer still in his hands, he stared at his at the floor. Here was just another example of how he was never enough for anyone. Not even Knoxville. He attempted to stand again. This time when Ryan reached out for him, he pulled away and made a beeline for the bathroom. Kneeling before the toilet, he let his emotions wash over him as bile rose in his throat and slammed against the back of his teeth.
Outside the door, Ryan was quietly arguing with Johnny. “No, dickhead… it’s your ass that should be in there. Bam and I may not be fine… but we’re doing a hell of a lot better than you and him.”
“And you and me?”
“Are hunky fucking dory… believe it or not? I get it. I do… and I fucking accept it… now get your ass in there and fix this.”
The door slid shut behind Knoxville. He flinched at the sight before him. Forehead pressed to the seat and arms clutching at the side of the bowl, Bam gasped as one last heave wracked his body. Johnny knelt beside him and grabbed a bit of toilet paper in his hand. Urging Bam to face him, he frowned sadly at the empty look on the man’s face. Tenderly, he wiped the corners of Bam’s mouth before arching around to fill a small, disposable cup full of water. He handed it to him. Knoxville’s fingers traced along the five o’clock shadow darkening the man’s face as he swiftly drank the liquid down. Both were silent for what felt like hours before Johnny spoke. “This doesn’t change what I feel about you…”
“And that is?” Bam croaked miserably.
“Affection….”
“Affection?” He snorted.
“Maybe love?”
“But I’m not, we’re not… enough.”
Johnny sighed. “Thinking that way… shouldn’t Ryan be bothered about us?” Clutching his stomach, Bam grimaced at the toilet. In an instant, Knoxville’s hands were on his face. “It doesn’t mean you’re not enough… why should you be forced to pick just one person to care about? One person to want with all your being? One person… to love?”
“It’s not that you don’t want… me?” Bam asked as his eyes dropped shut and he nuzzled into Johnny’s hands.
“Far from it…” He leaned forward and captured Bam’s mouth in a hungry kiss. “I want you so damn bad it makes me crazy…” Knoxville gasped as their lips separated momentarily.
When their actions intensified, Bam pulled away. “… Ry?”
Wordlessly, Johnny stood and pulled him to his feet. They stepped out of the bathroom together. A pair of sweatpants pulled up over his hips, Dunn leaned against the bed’s headboard with another beer in his hand. “Well?” He asked as he watched them approach.
Bam climbed onto the edge of the bed. “I’m… okay.”
“You sure?” Ryan glanced between him and Knoxville. Johnny stepped forward and ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of Bam’s neck. When Bam leaned into the touch, Dunn’s eyebrows shot up. Placing his beer on the nightstand, Dunn crawled over to his lap. Meeting Knoxville’s eyes for but a few seconds, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Bam’s lips. Behind them, Knoxville’s hand left Bam’s hair and slid forward caressing their faces where their mouths met. Fingers twined through Ryan’s beard before retreating to the scruff that darkened Bam’s face.
Climbing up on the bed behind them, Johnny buried his face in Bam’s neck. He’d never seen this side of the man, but now that he had… all he wanted to do was to make all the pain go away. This was suddenly about more than just fucking. This was about more than their ongoing battle for dominance. Clutching at Ryan’s chin, he pulled both men closer and pressed his lips to their joined ones awkwardly. Bam gasped into the onslaught and momentarily his lips left Dunn’s to nibble at Knoxville’s.
“Johnny…” Bam’s gasp was a throaty whimper. Dunn shushed him and followed as Knoxville pressed Bam down against the bed and climbed over him. “Ry?” Bam breathed nervously.
Ryan looked down at him. He and Johnny’s face inches apart above him. Dunn’s hair fell down in wet tendril across Bam’s cheeks. “Love you…” He whispered before kissing him.
“Me too…” Knoxville added when Ryan pulled away. His voice sounded foreign in his own mouth as he trailed a path of kisses over Bam’s chin and up to his ear. “Me too…”
Chapter 20
Chapter: 19
Fandom: Jackass/Viva La Bam
Rating: R
Pairing: Bam/Johnny, Bam/Ryan/Johnny
Warning: Spoilers for Viva La Bam’s Fort Knoxville, Jackass 1 & 2...
Disclaimer: It’s fiction. Learn it, live it... love it.
Word Count: 2616
Beta: Abysmal Seraph, my darling...
Summary: A follow-up to the branding incident...
Author’s Note: Definitely my last update before moving (I keep saying that, do any of you believe me anymore?)...
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10,
Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18
Bang Bang
A warm, wet rain beat down around Johnny and despite the layers he was wearing, he shivered. Beside him Bam snorted and opened an umbrella before wordlessly holding it halfway over him. Knoxville shot him a startled look, but didn’t ask questions. Well, at least not about that. “Won’t Dunn be pissed when he wakes up alone at the hotel? Shouldn’t we have left him a note or something?”
“Maybe…” Bam commented distractedly as they came up on a crosswalk. Upon the signal flashing, he stepped forward. Johnny had to double time it to catch up with him. “…we need to talk.”
“…okay… where, when?”
“Beer first.”
Sighing, Knoxville decided that until Bam got what Bam wanted… it was fucking useless to talk to him. It was better to simply follow; maybe even distract himself by freaking out a few folks. As his eyes scanned the small crowds and sickeningly cute couples passing by, Knoxville tried to think up five second pranks. He quickly became sidetracked, however, by a couple of drag queens walking by. He hadn’t even realized he had been staring or that he’d craned his neck around to watch them walk away until Bam nearly crumpled to the sidewalk in laughter beside him. Beyond mortified to have been caught scoping out someone in front of Bam… let alone drag queens, Johnny did the only thing he knew to do in the situation and laughed right along with him. At least Bam hadn’t taken the stares seriously. And why was he acting fucking scared of Margera now anyway? Knoxville continued to chuckle even as that worry burrowed deeper into his thoughts.
***
Thirty minutes later, alcohol in hand, and the rain had only increased. Johnny spent all but thirty seconds arguing with Bam to use the god damn umbrella for himself when he realized it wouldn’t do any good. The bullets of water barely coursing over his heels, Knoxville reveled in the unusual sign of affection from the other man. And surprisingly, Bam didn’t withdraw the umbrella until they approached the doors of the hotel.
Once in the lobby, Bam made a show of shaking off the water like a mongrel dog. He smirked at Johnny as the droplets from his hair spatter across his shirt. “C’mon…” Bam nodded towards the elevator.
The door had barely slid shut when Knoxville threw caution to the wind and stepped up into Bam’s personal space. “What’s up with you?” He whispered as their lips inched closer.
“What’s up with you…” Bam parroted his words back at him.
It was gentle and sloppy all at once as Knoxville tilted his head and pressed his lips against the delicate bow of Bam’s mouth. He expected anything but what he got. Grocery bags dropped from Bam’s hands as he brought his arms up and around Johnny’s neck. In near mimicry, Knoxville let his own bags drop to the floor as his hands sought out Bam’s hips. Pressing his shoulders against the elevator wall, Bam thrust his hips forward groaning when Johnny’s finger dug harshly into hips.
Hesitantly dragging away from one another as the bell rang alerting them to the door opening, neither men spoke as another passenger climbed on and they ascended up to their floor. The hallway was bustling with couples and families leaving with packed suitcases as Knoxville led the way back to the room.
Once inside he avoided Bam’s gaze and sat the beer on the dresser. The sound of the shower let both men know that Dunn, pissed or not, was at least awake. A mirror caught Johnny’s reflection and he quickly looked away with a scowl on his face. When Bam slid up behind him, he immediately tensed up.
“Seriously, what’s up with you...?”
Knoxville could feel those crystal blue eyes raking over him in the mirror and it made him literally cringe. “Don’t, Bam…”
“Dude, what’s wrong with you lately?” Bam asked in concern. “Look, I’m not bitching at you or any of that shit… just tell me what the fuck is up with you…”
“Fucking Jeff… okay?”
Eyes darkening, Bam asked. “What about Jeff?”
“He just up and fucking leaves! Shit, I know you and Ry had to get back to West Chester and shit. But, he fucking left, Bam. He left me here alone here with fucking camera man. He starts this shit… and then what does he do?!” Knoxville’s eyes were blazing when he finally met Bam’s in the mirror. “Did I ever tell you the first prank he had me do?”
“…no.”
“He had me buy this cheap ass bullet proof vest, some hustlers, and a derringer… Do the math.”
“WHAT?!” The anger was more than apparent in Bam’s voice.
“Yeah… we make him a fucking millionaire… and he can’t even spend a week here with my sorry ass.” Johnny raised his fist to punch the mirror. Bam wrapped a hand around his wrist barely stopping him; before pulling Knoxville’s arm down to his side. Johnny wanted to escape the eyes that were boring into him, even if it was just through his reflection, but he couldn’t look away. He couldn’t look away as Bam tugged his t-shirt up revealing a chorus of bruises yellowing on his stomach. Knoxville’s only reaction was to curl his lips at the sight.
“Was this for him? Or for you?”
“…him.”
***
The door closing and opening was the first thing to catch Ryan’s ear. Resisting the urge to climb out of the stall and storm the two men, Dunn closed his eyes and relaxed under the pulsating water. At least they hadn’t torn each other apart… or so it seemed. There wasn’t any yelling or breaking glass, so he surmised that all was well. A quick turn of the faucet and the water slowed to a drip then nothing. Ryan carefully stepped out of the shower and onto the cheap hotel mat. It was quiet. Way too fucking quiet. Wrapping a towel around waist, Dunn stepped out of the bathroom. Across the room, Bam and Johnny were talking so quietly that he had to inch closer.
“…there are things I haven’t told you...” Knoxville mumbled, pressing his cheek to his shoulder as he averted his gaze.
Ryan could see Bam clenching and unclenching his fists. He watched them both closely. It was pretty obvious that neither had noticed him yet.
Bam released his stomach and reached up to run the back of his hand over the arch of Johnny’s neck. Nosing his hairline, he asked. “What haven’t you told us… me?”
“It’s fucking stupid…”
“What is it?”
Placing his hand over Bam’s and pressing them harder into his collar, Knoxville sighed. “I... Jeff… if the three of us hadn’t…”
“Would you rather…” Bam cleared his throat and inhaled sharply against Johnny, “…be with him?”
Knoxville burst out laughing. It caused Dunn’s gut to clench. That was so not a fucking good sign. He moved to step in.
“Are you fucking kidding, Bam?!” Johnny turned to face him, but stopped abruptly upon seeing Ryan approaching. “… Ry… I…”
“Would you?”
“Hell, no! I’m just a fucking paycheck to him… you think he gives a shit about me? I’ve been here in Miami for weeks… and you two were the only ones that even gave a damn.” Silently, Bam walked over to the bed and sprawled across it face down. Knoxville watched him the entire time. “Please don’t get all dramatic about this… I don’t want him anymore…”
His voice muffled in the comforter, Bam replied. “Jeff called us…”
“Wait, what?!”
“Jeff called us.” Dunn clarified. He looked Johnny square in the eye.
“That doesn’t change anything… he could have stayed here with me… he didn’t.”
“Why did you even want to fucking stay?! Why would you want him to?!” Bam’s exterior finally broke. Voice raised, he sat up on the bed and continued. “You could have gone home… you could have come up to West Chester with us…”
“Because I don’t want it to fucking end… Both of you swore you’d never do a sequel… you only fucking agreed to do this one if the other did it… Fuck knows, there’ll never be a number three. This is it. It’s fucking over. We’ll drift apart and I’ll never fucking see either of you again….”
Bam opened his mouth to argue, but stopped when Ryan’s hand flew up and pointed directly at him. Glaring, he fell back onto his elbows on the bed. The pout on his lips was more pissed off than anything.
“Look, Johnny…” Ryan glanced between him and Bam. “I know what you are feeling… these last two years of my life… were exactly that. Sure there was shit filmed between the end of Bam’s show and Number Two… but things had changed. Fuck, he and I hardly even spoke to one another off camera… until we came to film with you… Fuck.” He ran his fingers though his wet hair in frustration.
On the bed, Bam looked on in shock. His attention was now focused solely on the blonde. “You’re the one who stopped speaking to me!” He defended.
“Shit, of course I was! Why would you have wanted to speak to you, when you had your fucking Life Partner?!” Dunn’s voice came out louder and angrier than he’d intended. Shoulder slumping, he looked over at Knoxville who had suddenly grown quiet. “Damn it… I’m sorry.” He glared at Bam. “We’re sorry… this is about you… we both need to shut the fuck up about our own issues.”
“No…” Johnny replied almost bashfully. “It actually puts things in perspective… I mean, here I’m acting like you two are the perfect couple and I’m intruding and fucking shit up… but…”
Finishing his sentence, Bam mumbled, “…we aren’t.”
Knoxville tore into the beer and handed each of them one before grabbing one for himself. “We need beer. Badly.” He slid against the dresser until he was sitting on the floor. Ryan turned to grab himself some clothes, but Johnny called out after him. “Fuck it… just sit your ass down… you too, Bam, get off the bed.”
They both sat across from him with timid smiles on their face as they sipped their beers. After quickly downing his first one, Knoxville spoke. “We really need to clarify some shit, you know?”
“Yeah…” Ryan mumbled as he tried to get comfortable on the floor. Bam was leaning up against the bed… and Johnny against the dresser. He didn’t want to give either the wrong idea by sitting next to the other, so here he sat back aching with nothing to lean on… trying to stay focused on their conversation.
“Bam…” Knoxville began. “This jealousy thing… it’s got to fucking stop. Or… this stops.” Hurt flashed over Margera’s face before he blanked it out with a loud swallow. Opening another beer, Johnny kept on. “There’s going to be times when I’m… not faithful…” He looked over at Ryan. “… it’s not how I’m built… I’m sorry.”
Bam started to stand, but Dunn grabbed his arm. “Sit… please? Storming off won’t help shit.”
Falling back to the floor, Bam bowed his head and stared at the floor. His half drank beer still in his hands, he stared at his at the floor. Here was just another example of how he was never enough for anyone. Not even Knoxville. He attempted to stand again. This time when Ryan reached out for him, he pulled away and made a beeline for the bathroom. Kneeling before the toilet, he let his emotions wash over him as bile rose in his throat and slammed against the back of his teeth.
Outside the door, Ryan was quietly arguing with Johnny. “No, dickhead… it’s your ass that should be in there. Bam and I may not be fine… but we’re doing a hell of a lot better than you and him.”
“And you and me?”
“Are hunky fucking dory… believe it or not? I get it. I do… and I fucking accept it… now get your ass in there and fix this.”
The door slid shut behind Knoxville. He flinched at the sight before him. Forehead pressed to the seat and arms clutching at the side of the bowl, Bam gasped as one last heave wracked his body. Johnny knelt beside him and grabbed a bit of toilet paper in his hand. Urging Bam to face him, he frowned sadly at the empty look on the man’s face. Tenderly, he wiped the corners of Bam’s mouth before arching around to fill a small, disposable cup full of water. He handed it to him. Knoxville’s fingers traced along the five o’clock shadow darkening the man’s face as he swiftly drank the liquid down. Both were silent for what felt like hours before Johnny spoke. “This doesn’t change what I feel about you…”
“And that is?” Bam croaked miserably.
“Affection….”
“Affection?” He snorted.
“Maybe love?”
“But I’m not, we’re not… enough.”
Johnny sighed. “Thinking that way… shouldn’t Ryan be bothered about us?” Clutching his stomach, Bam grimaced at the toilet. In an instant, Knoxville’s hands were on his face. “It doesn’t mean you’re not enough… why should you be forced to pick just one person to care about? One person to want with all your being? One person… to love?”
“It’s not that you don’t want… me?” Bam asked as his eyes dropped shut and he nuzzled into Johnny’s hands.
“Far from it…” He leaned forward and captured Bam’s mouth in a hungry kiss. “I want you so damn bad it makes me crazy…” Knoxville gasped as their lips separated momentarily.
When their actions intensified, Bam pulled away. “… Ry?”
Wordlessly, Johnny stood and pulled him to his feet. They stepped out of the bathroom together. A pair of sweatpants pulled up over his hips, Dunn leaned against the bed’s headboard with another beer in his hand. “Well?” He asked as he watched them approach.
Bam climbed onto the edge of the bed. “I’m… okay.”
“You sure?” Ryan glanced between him and Knoxville. Johnny stepped forward and ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of Bam’s neck. When Bam leaned into the touch, Dunn’s eyebrows shot up. Placing his beer on the nightstand, Dunn crawled over to his lap. Meeting Knoxville’s eyes for but a few seconds, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Bam’s lips. Behind them, Knoxville’s hand left Bam’s hair and slid forward caressing their faces where their mouths met. Fingers twined through Ryan’s beard before retreating to the scruff that darkened Bam’s face.
Climbing up on the bed behind them, Johnny buried his face in Bam’s neck. He’d never seen this side of the man, but now that he had… all he wanted to do was to make all the pain go away. This was suddenly about more than just fucking. This was about more than their ongoing battle for dominance. Clutching at Ryan’s chin, he pulled both men closer and pressed his lips to their joined ones awkwardly. Bam gasped into the onslaught and momentarily his lips left Dunn’s to nibble at Knoxville’s.
“Johnny…” Bam’s gasp was a throaty whimper. Dunn shushed him and followed as Knoxville pressed Bam down against the bed and climbed over him. “Ry?” Bam breathed nervously.
Ryan looked down at him. He and Johnny’s face inches apart above him. Dunn’s hair fell down in wet tendril across Bam’s cheeks. “Love you…” He whispered before kissing him.
“Me too…” Knoxville added when Ryan pulled away. His voice sounded foreign in his own mouth as he trailed a path of kisses over Bam’s chin and up to his ear. “Me too…”
Chapter 20