007 ♋ Text
SO, AS I AM SURE ALL OF YOU LITTLE NOOKWHIFFING BIPEDAL OR OTHERWISE SHISTAINS HAVE REALIZED
THERE IS ANOTHER TROLL AMONGST US. ONE THAT HAS BEEN HERE BEFORE AND DOESN'T REMEMBER A FUCKING THING.
HOW CONVENIENT IS THAT SHIT ANYWAY???
ONE SECOND YOU'RE HERE, DOING YOUR THING AND AVOIDING CURSES OR JUST PLAIN DEALING WITH THEM IN THE BEST AND MOST RESPECTFUL MANNER
AND *BAM*
FUCKING GONE LIKE ALTERNIA AFTER BEING CONSTANTLY PELTED WITH FUCKING METEORS THE SIZE OF EARTH MANHATTAN.
THEN YOU COME BACK AND CAN EITHER REMEMBER ALL OF YOUR CONQUESTS AND FAILURES OF THIS PLACE OR YOU REMEMBER JACK SHIT, AS THE HUMANS WOULD SAY.
IT'S LIKE HITTING RESET ON THE GAME THAT YOU'RE DOING HORRIBLY AT AND YET WANT TO FUCKING KEEP PLAYING OUT OF SHEER DETERMINATION.
FUCK. I KNOW I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS.
OH RIGHT. ERIDAN AMPORA.
THERE IS ONE THING TO KNOW ABOUT THE NOT SO ELUSIVE SEA TROLL THAT IS THE EVER IRRITATING AND BULGE BITING AMPORA.
HE FUCKING HITS ON ANYTHING THAT HAS A NOOK FOR HIM TO ATTEMPT TO CRAM A BULGE INTO.
THIS IS A FRIENDLY AND GRACIOUS WARNING FROM ONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THE GRUBFUCKER IS CAPABLE OF AND UP TO.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO START ANYTHING THAT CAN BE FUCKING CONSIDERED BLACK ROM WITH THIS DOUCHEBAG OR HE'LL START FOLLOWING YOU AROUND LIKE SOME LOVE SICK SCHOOL GIRL IN ONE OF JOHN'S SHITTY GRAPHIC NOVELS.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO START ANYTHING THAT WOULD EVEN REMOTELY LEAD HIM TO FUCKING THINK YOU PITY HIM OR SOMETHING EQUALLY RETARDED AND VOMIT INDUCING.
AND FOR THE RECORD, AMPORA, BEFORE YOU EVEN HAVE TO FUCKING ASK...
I HATE YOU IN THE MOST PLATONIC FASHION TO EVER GRACE THE NOW SCARRED FACE THAT IS ALTERNIA AND EARTH FUCKING COMBINED, SO DON'T GET ANY IDEAS OTHERWISE LODGED INTO THAT SOCIALLY RETARDED THINK PAN OF YOURS.
THERE WAS ONE MORE THING I NEEDED TO ADDRESS BEFORE I CAN GO BACK TO CRAMMING SOMETHING AKIN TO FOOD DOWN THAT BLIND ASSHOLE'S PROTEIN CHUTE BEFORE HE FORGETS THAT YES, EATING IS A GOOD AND HEALTHY THING.
OH YEAH.
MY MOVIE COLLECTION IS RATHER DISMAL. SINCE TROLL FLICKS ARE NOT A FUCKING OPTION, I HAVE TO RESORT TO ALTERNATIVES.
NAME ME OFF A FEW BEFORE I DECIDE THIS IS A STUPID IDEA AND START BREAKING BLACK CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE TABLES THAT SIT NEXT TO THESE WEIRD SHITS YOU ALL CALL CHAIRS.
[ Troll Text Translation:
So, as I am sure all of you little nookwhiffing bipedal or otherwise shistains have realized
There is another troll amongst us. One that has been here before and doesn't remember a fucking thing.
How convenient is that shit anyway???
One second you're here, doing your thing and avoiding curses or just plain dealing with them in the best and most respectful manner
And *BAM*
Fucking gone like Alternia after being constantly pelted with fucking meteors the size of Earth Manhattan.
Then you come back and can either remember all of your conquests and failures of this place or you remember jack shit, as the humans would say.
It's like hitting reset on the game that you're doing horribly at and yet want to fucking keep playing out of sheer determination.
Fuck. I know I was going somewhere with this.
Oh right. Eridan Ampora.
There is one thing to know about the not so elusive sea troll that is the ever irritating and bulge biting Ampora.
He fucking hits on anything that has a nook for him to attempt to cram a bulge into.
This is a friendly and gracious warning from one who knows what the grubfucker is capable of and up to.
Do not attempt to start anything that can be fucking considered black rom with this douchebag or he'll start following you around like some love sick school girl in one of John's shitty graphic novels.
Do not attempt to start anything that would even remotely lead him to fucking think you pity him or something equally retarded and vomit inducing.
And for the record, Ampora, before you even have to fucking ask...
I hate you in the most platonic fashion to ever grace the now scarred face that is Alternia and Earth fucking combined, so don't get any ideas otherwise lodged into that socially retarded think pan of yours.
There was one more thing I needed to address before I can go back to cramming something akin to food down that blind asshole's protein chute before he forgets that yes, eating is a good and healthy thing.
Oh yeah.
My movie collection is rather dismal. Since troll flicks are not a fucking option, I have to resort to alternatives.
Name me off a few before I decide this is a stupid idea and start breaking black caffeinated beverage tables that sit next to these weird shits you all call chairs.]
THERE IS ANOTHER TROLL AMONGST US. ONE THAT HAS BEEN HERE BEFORE AND DOESN'T REMEMBER A FUCKING THING.
HOW CONVENIENT IS THAT SHIT ANYWAY???
ONE SECOND YOU'RE HERE, DOING YOUR THING AND AVOIDING CURSES OR JUST PLAIN DEALING WITH THEM IN THE BEST AND MOST RESPECTFUL MANNER
AND *BAM*
FUCKING GONE LIKE ALTERNIA AFTER BEING CONSTANTLY PELTED WITH FUCKING METEORS THE SIZE OF EARTH MANHATTAN.
THEN YOU COME BACK AND CAN EITHER REMEMBER ALL OF YOUR CONQUESTS AND FAILURES OF THIS PLACE OR YOU REMEMBER JACK SHIT, AS THE HUMANS WOULD SAY.
IT'S LIKE HITTING RESET ON THE GAME THAT YOU'RE DOING HORRIBLY AT AND YET WANT TO FUCKING KEEP PLAYING OUT OF SHEER DETERMINATION.
FUCK. I KNOW I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS.
OH RIGHT. ERIDAN AMPORA.
THERE IS ONE THING TO KNOW ABOUT THE NOT SO ELUSIVE SEA TROLL THAT IS THE EVER IRRITATING AND BULGE BITING AMPORA.
HE FUCKING HITS ON ANYTHING THAT HAS A NOOK FOR HIM TO ATTEMPT TO CRAM A BULGE INTO.
THIS IS A FRIENDLY AND GRACIOUS WARNING FROM ONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THE GRUBFUCKER IS CAPABLE OF AND UP TO.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO START ANYTHING THAT CAN BE FUCKING CONSIDERED BLACK ROM WITH THIS DOUCHEBAG OR HE'LL START FOLLOWING YOU AROUND LIKE SOME LOVE SICK SCHOOL GIRL IN ONE OF JOHN'S SHITTY GRAPHIC NOVELS.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO START ANYTHING THAT WOULD EVEN REMOTELY LEAD HIM TO FUCKING THINK YOU PITY HIM OR SOMETHING EQUALLY RETARDED AND VOMIT INDUCING.
AND FOR THE RECORD, AMPORA, BEFORE YOU EVEN HAVE TO FUCKING ASK...
I HATE YOU IN THE MOST PLATONIC FASHION TO EVER GRACE THE NOW SCARRED FACE THAT IS ALTERNIA AND EARTH FUCKING COMBINED, SO DON'T GET ANY IDEAS OTHERWISE LODGED INTO THAT SOCIALLY RETARDED THINK PAN OF YOURS.
THERE WAS ONE MORE THING I NEEDED TO ADDRESS BEFORE I CAN GO BACK TO CRAMMING SOMETHING AKIN TO FOOD DOWN THAT BLIND ASSHOLE'S PROTEIN CHUTE BEFORE HE FORGETS THAT YES, EATING IS A GOOD AND HEALTHY THING.
OH YEAH.
MY MOVIE COLLECTION IS RATHER DISMAL. SINCE TROLL FLICKS ARE NOT A FUCKING OPTION, I HAVE TO RESORT TO ALTERNATIVES.
NAME ME OFF A FEW BEFORE I DECIDE THIS IS A STUPID IDEA AND START BREAKING BLACK CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE TABLES THAT SIT NEXT TO THESE WEIRD SHITS YOU ALL CALL CHAIRS.
[ Troll Text Translation:
So, as I am sure all of you little nookwhiffing bipedal or otherwise shistains have realized
There is another troll amongst us. One that has been here before and doesn't remember a fucking thing.
How convenient is that shit anyway???
One second you're here, doing your thing and avoiding curses or just plain dealing with them in the best and most respectful manner
And *BAM*
Fucking gone like Alternia after being constantly pelted with fucking meteors the size of Earth Manhattan.
Then you come back and can either remember all of your conquests and failures of this place or you remember jack shit, as the humans would say.
It's like hitting reset on the game that you're doing horribly at and yet want to fucking keep playing out of sheer determination.
Fuck. I know I was going somewhere with this.
Oh right. Eridan Ampora.
There is one thing to know about the not so elusive sea troll that is the ever irritating and bulge biting Ampora.
He fucking hits on anything that has a nook for him to attempt to cram a bulge into.
This is a friendly and gracious warning from one who knows what the grubfucker is capable of and up to.
Do not attempt to start anything that can be fucking considered black rom with this douchebag or he'll start following you around like some love sick school girl in one of John's shitty graphic novels.
Do not attempt to start anything that would even remotely lead him to fucking think you pity him or something equally retarded and vomit inducing.
And for the record, Ampora, before you even have to fucking ask...
I hate you in the most platonic fashion to ever grace the now scarred face that is Alternia and Earth fucking combined, so don't get any ideas otherwise lodged into that socially retarded think pan of yours.
There was one more thing I needed to address before I can go back to cramming something akin to food down that blind asshole's protein chute before he forgets that yes, eating is a good and healthy thing.
Oh yeah.
My movie collection is rather dismal. Since troll flicks are not a fucking option, I have to resort to alternatives.
Name me off a few before I decide this is a stupid idea and start breaking black caffeinated beverage tables that sit next to these weird shits you all call chairs.]