HERE'S THE REASON FOR MY DEPRESSION
I don't understand relationships i notice it don't ever work for me....it makes me happy then all of a sudden it hits me in the face and brings me down into deep depression.I was so happy about this one person I talked to she was beautiful and sweet but what happen I am so confused.we talked and talked for a long time online and then all this things that happen before came back to haunt me big time.Hearing those words made me shake into shock:
"im sorry...but i cant do it anymore...you have to move on....i cant even meet you anymore...im moving to texas...so....good bye..get a new gf..im sorry..my dad took away my phone from me and wont give it back...the only way i can get it now...is to just..-sighs- pay for it mself and i just dont think i can take it anymore ...no im sorry...its just not right..please just go find someone else..im srry ..."
When I read that I started to tear I wanted to cry it all became a nightmare yesterday for me.....I've made plans to meet her in California after I graduate...we talked about it but no it won't happen now.I thought this love would last but it never.these words haunted me lastnight I could not sleep I tossed and turned.After school when I got this message I deleted it and logged off and ran to the bathroom and took a shower I was crying so much in the bathroom I was so hurt I dod not know what to do...I wanted to drown myself I was so close to doing it but I thought about all the ones who loved me...so I just cried and cried I felt like I was not worth living in this world....my pain inside started to throbb again and it hurted so much...why is it that I can't be happy it all just tends to be such disatser.
My eyes was so sore lastnight I had hardtime keeping it open...I had a reall bad headache I had to put myself to sleep it was killing me.I could not even eat all my dinner it was that bad..I did not want to cry nor tear near my father guys no I refused to.
I realized that I never got to save her picture to show you guys how she looked like *sigh* i wish I did she deleted her account...she told me she wants to be with me so bad but I am so far...her father and mother is sending her to a girls school but I don't know what to say....I hate my life I don't think I want to go back into a relationship again I am so scared I will be shattered again...*sigh* I must erase all those memory of what we talked about I kept this to myself cause I did not want no one to know about this but now you do cause I don't want to leave you guys in this mist of confusion.She's long gone...........
" online dating sucks ass................please don't do what I did....I've been hurt two times already"