Something I have had stuck in my head for years.
This had it's origins in a mix of different jokes and things that I thought of.
The Detective Gag.
It all started one day when I received a phone-call, which was awful strange as we did not have a phone. A brick then came crashing through the office window and hit my secretary in the breast and broke three of my fingers. A tall man then walked past our office window. I could tell he was tall as the office was on the third floor. My secretary then crossed her legs and broke my glasses. We had a client that needed to see us. The client was having a party at their country home so my secretary decided to wear her party dress. It was a slinky little number that really only worked when she walked down the stairs. We decided to not drive to the party so we went down to the street to hail a taxi. The taxi stopped with a jerk. The jerk then got out and we got in.
We were soon in the countryside. I could tell we were in the countryside as we were hitting a lot less pedestrians. We were taking the corners at about sixty miles an hour when we were pulled over by the police and told to put them back.
The taxi tire got a flat tire and we volunteered to change the tire. She pumped, I pumped, she pumped, I pumped. Then we got out of the taxi and changed the flat tire.
We arrived at the client’s house and everybody was jumping for joy. Joy then climbed down from the chandelier. We went outside to find the client. Everybody was in the pool feeling happy. Happy then got out of the pool and dried off.
The moral of this tale is never answer your phone when you don’t have one.
Lawrence Cottam 2012.
The Detective Gag.
It all started one day when I received a phone-call, which was awful strange as we did not have a phone. A brick then came crashing through the office window and hit my secretary in the breast and broke three of my fingers. A tall man then walked past our office window. I could tell he was tall as the office was on the third floor. My secretary then crossed her legs and broke my glasses. We had a client that needed to see us. The client was having a party at their country home so my secretary decided to wear her party dress. It was a slinky little number that really only worked when she walked down the stairs. We decided to not drive to the party so we went down to the street to hail a taxi. The taxi stopped with a jerk. The jerk then got out and we got in.
We were soon in the countryside. I could tell we were in the countryside as we were hitting a lot less pedestrians. We were taking the corners at about sixty miles an hour when we were pulled over by the police and told to put them back.
The taxi tire got a flat tire and we volunteered to change the tire. She pumped, I pumped, she pumped, I pumped. Then we got out of the taxi and changed the flat tire.
We arrived at the client’s house and everybody was jumping for joy. Joy then climbed down from the chandelier. We went outside to find the client. Everybody was in the pool feeling happy. Happy then got out of the pool and dried off.
The moral of this tale is never answer your phone when you don’t have one.
Lawrence Cottam 2012.