my poly life 2 : tv time
Friday night, I've finished my show for the evening, I'm sitting on a porch enjoying a rootbeer float ( SO GOOD ) with some friends when my phone rings. It's n., calling from Yorkville, an upscale part of Toronto. She's at a TV shoot with her brother, for a new pilot for the CBC, and they want to talk about monogamy, and they want to talk to us about monogamy, and how fast could I get there?
So I jump in a cab.
n. tells me later that she hung up the phone and some producer lady, who was listening to her talk to me, says "So what, you call and he's just going to show up? What is he, like Batman?" Both N. and her brother just nodded and said, "Yes." Three minutes later, she's talking to both of them and I hop out of the cab and walk up behind them. The producer turns around, looks me up and down and says, "Great, well, great. Let's get you into bed."
The set for this show is a big bed, nice duvet, and a cute hostess in a really low-cut top sitting in the middle of the bed. We get introduced (I can't remember her name for the life of me) and get into bed beside her. n. immediately comments on her cleavage (it was pretty great). I sit down beside her and sort of get close and she says, "Okay, I just need to point out that JP is right on top of me!" To which I immediately responded, "That's just where I should be," and I heard n. agree with me from across the bed. And that basically set the tone for the interview.
We started into it, got a couple of questions in, and something went wrong with one of the cameras. So we stopped, and the producer woman n. was talking to before came up and whispered into the host's ear. I didn't hear it, but n. did: "This couple is really interesting. Don't jump in on their answers, let them finish. Let them talk."
We got back into the interview, and the first question goes to n.:
"So, what do you think about monogamy?"
"Well.... it's not for me."
And we're off! We kind of immediately slip into two roles. n's the funny flirty sexy girl (she's good at that), and I'm the calmer, solid guy who talks about ideas and concepts. The hostess talks to n. for a bit about other lovers, asking questions like, isn't JP enough for you? I start to realize every time she asks a question like that, the camera guy is quick panning to my face to get a reaction shot. Waiting for me to wince, or look angry, or sad, or something like that. But I'm just smiling at her, engaged in the conversation, trying not to stutter - or dry cough, which I've been plagued with for a while. I think I managed to not cough in the middle of saying
something important. I tried to bring up some of the ideas in The Ethical Slut, but for the life of me I couldn't remember both of the authors' names... I was upset about that. The thing is, it's a pilot for a sort of comedy show, and they weren't really all that interested in the serious parts of poly life or philosophy. She asked us if we got jealous, but for some reason that question didn't get answered. She asked n. about other lovers, how choosing outside partners was different for her and I.
It occurred to me around this point that this would be (if this show goes to air) the second time I've talked about my sex life on national television.
Mostly, though, we were cute, charming, intelligent, and showed a LOT of love for eachother. We were like a happy poly poster couple. I didn't feel like talking about my interest in BDSM and how that affects my poly life - that might have been a bit much for the CBC, and I wanted to make sure my relationship with n., and our relationship to poly structures and challenges, was as audience-friendly as possible. I start talking about collars, there's more of a chance people are going to stop listening.
Then we hit the end of the interview, and the director says to the host, "Okay we're going to wrap up. Let's end with the touching thing you've done before. I think we'd get a good reaction here." So the host starts stroking my arm, asking me how her touching me is different than n. touching me. And I can tell she's trying to be provocative, flirting with me with n. right there beside me. I can imagine that any other couples she had in bed probably weren't reacting all that well to this move. So I take n's hand, put it on my other arm, let them both stroke me for a little bit. I sit there, just letting them touch me for a moment, obviously gathering my thoughts. Then I start talking, and flirting with her right back.
About how this hand (hers) is new to me, and that's exciting, a new hand to discover, to explore. And this hand (n's) is a hand that I love, that I'm constantly discovering new things about, that I want to be sharing more and more of myself with. I'm really throwing a lot of energy her way, eye contact, holding her hand while I'm talking to her. I can't tell if it's having an effect or not, but I do know that she just sat there and let me flirt with her. And she was smiling the whole time. TV host, right, I know. She has to look engaged, interested. Still, this was different enough than the rest of her night, I know I was getting a reaction.
Eventually the stroking and the interview ends, she thanks us, and says, "Well, I feel like inviting you two into my bed again!" n. says, "Well, we'd probably come." And then laughs at her own inadvertent joke. The host didn't seem to get it. She was serious, though. As was I.
Later than night, while we were lying in bed, n. and I did a bit of a post-mortem on our performance, which is so typically us it's hilarious. Answers we gave, didn't give. Trying to figure out what they're looking for so we can tailor our responses to that. We even thought about other forums we could discuss our poly life, in a lecture kind of way. Damn I love that girl.
So I jump in a cab.
n. tells me later that she hung up the phone and some producer lady, who was listening to her talk to me, says "So what, you call and he's just going to show up? What is he, like Batman?" Both N. and her brother just nodded and said, "Yes." Three minutes later, she's talking to both of them and I hop out of the cab and walk up behind them. The producer turns around, looks me up and down and says, "Great, well, great. Let's get you into bed."
The set for this show is a big bed, nice duvet, and a cute hostess in a really low-cut top sitting in the middle of the bed. We get introduced (I can't remember her name for the life of me) and get into bed beside her. n. immediately comments on her cleavage (it was pretty great). I sit down beside her and sort of get close and she says, "Okay, I just need to point out that JP is right on top of me!" To which I immediately responded, "That's just where I should be," and I heard n. agree with me from across the bed. And that basically set the tone for the interview.
We started into it, got a couple of questions in, and something went wrong with one of the cameras. So we stopped, and the producer woman n. was talking to before came up and whispered into the host's ear. I didn't hear it, but n. did: "This couple is really interesting. Don't jump in on their answers, let them finish. Let them talk."
We got back into the interview, and the first question goes to n.:
"So, what do you think about monogamy?"
"Well.... it's not for me."
And we're off! We kind of immediately slip into two roles. n's the funny flirty sexy girl (she's good at that), and I'm the calmer, solid guy who talks about ideas and concepts. The hostess talks to n. for a bit about other lovers, asking questions like, isn't JP enough for you? I start to realize every time she asks a question like that, the camera guy is quick panning to my face to get a reaction shot. Waiting for me to wince, or look angry, or sad, or something like that. But I'm just smiling at her, engaged in the conversation, trying not to stutter - or dry cough, which I've been plagued with for a while. I think I managed to not cough in the middle of saying
something important. I tried to bring up some of the ideas in The Ethical Slut, but for the life of me I couldn't remember both of the authors' names... I was upset about that. The thing is, it's a pilot for a sort of comedy show, and they weren't really all that interested in the serious parts of poly life or philosophy. She asked us if we got jealous, but for some reason that question didn't get answered. She asked n. about other lovers, how choosing outside partners was different for her and I.
It occurred to me around this point that this would be (if this show goes to air) the second time I've talked about my sex life on national television.
Mostly, though, we were cute, charming, intelligent, and showed a LOT of love for eachother. We were like a happy poly poster couple. I didn't feel like talking about my interest in BDSM and how that affects my poly life - that might have been a bit much for the CBC, and I wanted to make sure my relationship with n., and our relationship to poly structures and challenges, was as audience-friendly as possible. I start talking about collars, there's more of a chance people are going to stop listening.
Then we hit the end of the interview, and the director says to the host, "Okay we're going to wrap up. Let's end with the touching thing you've done before. I think we'd get a good reaction here." So the host starts stroking my arm, asking me how her touching me is different than n. touching me. And I can tell she's trying to be provocative, flirting with me with n. right there beside me. I can imagine that any other couples she had in bed probably weren't reacting all that well to this move. So I take n's hand, put it on my other arm, let them both stroke me for a little bit. I sit there, just letting them touch me for a moment, obviously gathering my thoughts. Then I start talking, and flirting with her right back.
About how this hand (hers) is new to me, and that's exciting, a new hand to discover, to explore. And this hand (n's) is a hand that I love, that I'm constantly discovering new things about, that I want to be sharing more and more of myself with. I'm really throwing a lot of energy her way, eye contact, holding her hand while I'm talking to her. I can't tell if it's having an effect or not, but I do know that she just sat there and let me flirt with her. And she was smiling the whole time. TV host, right, I know. She has to look engaged, interested. Still, this was different enough than the rest of her night, I know I was getting a reaction.
Eventually the stroking and the interview ends, she thanks us, and says, "Well, I feel like inviting you two into my bed again!" n. says, "Well, we'd probably come." And then laughs at her own inadvertent joke. The host didn't seem to get it. She was serious, though. As was I.
Later than night, while we were lying in bed, n. and I did a bit of a post-mortem on our performance, which is so typically us it's hilarious. Answers we gave, didn't give. Trying to figure out what they're looking for so we can tailor our responses to that. We even thought about other forums we could discuss our poly life, in a lecture kind of way. Damn I love that girl.