Choices [2/2]
For the
mission_insane challenge. See my monster master table here.
Title: Choices [2/2]
Fandom: Grey's AnatomyxPrivate Practice
Ship(s): Addison/Derek, Addison/Mark, mentions of Naomi/Sam
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Prompt: Camping
Summary: Addison, Mark, Derek and Naomi go hiking while in med school. Mark and Derek have choices to make regarding their friendship with Addison. [Pre-Addek]
Chapter 1
A few hours later, Addison and Naomi sat on the grass watching the boys set up the tents. Naomi tried to make them let her help out, since she - unlike Addison - loved camping and actually knew how to do stuff, but they had been on their usual manly macho men mood ever since Addison told them about her date, and she wasn’t about to bruise their egos even further by being better at this nature stuff than them.
Naomi knew the reason for their manly macho men moods. She also knew the reason for Addison’s sudden one night stand mood. She was the wise one, and she knew things. Plus, she’d have to be extremely thick not to notice what was going on in their small group. About as thick as Addison, Mark and Derek. But maybe they weren’t thick. Maybe they were just all a bunch of self-centered morons who were too busy thinking about their own feelings to notice everyone else’s.
Yeah, that seemed to be about right.
So, she let the boys make a display of masculinity and camping skills in front of Addison, who was far too focused on massaging her own feet to notice anything else in the world, let alone her two best friends having a silent fight for her attention. But Naomi knew they didn’t need to do that, because as much as her friend tried to look indifferent, she couldn’t stop thinking about both of them.
Both of them, and that was basically the reason why Addison had gone on a wild sex spree in hopes of forgetting about her two best friends. Because, really, how are you supposed to choose between Perfectly Sweet and Perfectly Sexy? She couldn’t choose. Plus, what if she made the wrong choice, chose the one that wasn’t interested and broke the other’s heart? What if none of them was interested? What if they were both interested?
Would a threesome be completely unacceptable?
Yes, it would be completely unacceptable. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t dream - and daydream - about it more often than she’d ever admit. Because having Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan in your bed, doing exactly what you wanted them to do... well, she’d have to be insane not to want that. And Addison wasn’t insane. Which is why she kept having second thoughts about this whole situation. Because, on a sexless level, she already had both of them, and she’d have to be insane to risk losing that, right?
Right. But knowing that didn’t mean she didn’t have feelings for them. For both of them. Knowing that didn’t mean she didn’t want Derek’s hand on hers when she walked from class to class, and Mark’s lips on hers when she walked into her room at night. Knowing that didn’t mean she didn’t want to be the one who made the always sweet Derek Shepherd go insane with lust, and the one who made the always sexy Mark Sloan whisper an “I love you”.
And she couldn’t choose.
Because Derek was Derek, and he made her feel like she was the only girl in the world. Or, at least, the only one who mattered. He made her feel special. He was the one who held her when she needed a hug, the one who didn’t mind staying home with her when she wanted to watch a movie, the one who brought her warm cocoa when she was in bed with a cold.
Derek was that guy. The one your whole family adores, and the one who proposes, buys you a house and is the perfect husband. And he made her feel like one of the girls in those chick-flicks she loved so much. She loved Derek Shepherd. She loved him in a way that made her want to walk around with him, share an ice-cream and then go back home and cuddle on the couch until they fell asleep.
She loved him in a committed, movie-love kind of way.
And Mark was Mark, and he made her blush with just a look, a smirk or a frown. He made her remember the different fantasies she’d had with him as the main character, and he made her feel sexy and wanted every single day. He was the one who took her out for drinks when she was worried about an exam, the one who rode every single roller coaster with her when they went to the amusement park, the one who wrestled her out of bed when she had a lazy day.
Mark was the guy your family doesn’t trust, the one who breaks your heart a little every other day and then makes you fall in love with him all over again, and the one you hate to love, but you do it anyway because it feels impossibly good. With Mark, she felt alive. And she loved Mark Sloan. She loved him in a way that made her want to see him flirt with every girl in the bar and know she’s the one he’s going home with, in a way that made her want to give it a shot, let herself fall and be able to tell everyone Mark was there to catch her. Prove everyone wrong when they called him a manwhore.
She loved him in a challenging, ready to fight kind of way.
And that was, basically, why she couldn’t choose. Things would be much easier if she could just have both. Mark and Derek. If she finally made her choice and chose one of them, would she still have the other? Would Derek still watch movies with her if she was Mark’s girlfriend? Would Mark still take her out if she was Derek’s? Was being Mark’s or Derek’s girlfriend worth not being their friend anymore?
She didn’t know the answer to any of those questions. And she couldn’t really ask Naomi, because her friend was wise but she knew she wouldn’t like whatever she said, so she chose not to ask. Because, if she said “Derek is too sweet for you, you’d get bored in a few years”, she’d have to both agree with her and get mad because she hates it when she’s right, and if she said “Mark would sleep with someone else and break your heart”, she’d have to do the same.
So, all in all, she couldn’t choose.
And, since she hated the way her head began to hurt when she’d been thinking about them for a while, she was grateful for Mark announcing they were done setting everything up and Derek saying they should start getting dinner ready. She couldn’t cook to save her life, but she stood up and started putting all the food out of the backpacks, because it helped her get her mind off them and the choices she had to make.
Denial is, apparently, a very good way of getting things done. Because when three out of four people are working so that they don’t have to acknowledge their feelings for one another, they work twice as hard as they normally would, and dinner is ready before they can even begin to feel hungry. Luckily for those three people, Naomi was there, and you could always count on her to make things go the way they’re supposed to be going, because she loved her friends.
Even if they were three self-centered morons.
And so, she took it upon herself to make sure no sensitive topics were touched during the dinner. Sensitive topics that, in her experience as the friend of the most pathetic love triangle known to manhood, included - but weren’t limited to - love, sex, dates, relationships, feelings and pretty much anything that wasn’t in the realm of the strictly friendly. No one ever said being the wise one was an easy job.
After an uneventful dinner in which they talked - again - about their classes, their professional dreams and other medicine related topics, they cleaned up and sat back down around the fire, figuring it was way too early to pretend they were tired and crawl into their tents. Even though, denial-wise, it sounded like the best idea ever.
But they knew Naomi would kick their asses if they didn’t stay for a while.
And so, they talked about Addison wanting to be an OB/GYN or a neonatal surgeon (because the world needed more happy families), Mark wanting to go into plastics (because the world needed more pretty people), Naomi wanting to be a fertility specialist (because the world needed more miracles) and Derek wanting to go into neurosurgery (because the world needed more healthy brains).
Talking about the future kept them entertained for a while, and it was almost 10 p.m when they decided to call it a night. Addison followed Naomi into one of the tents, Mark crawled into the other, and Derek stood by the fire for a little longer telling him he’d go inside in a moment. But Mark hoped he’d take his time, because he also needed a moment of peace and quiet to think. They all did, actually.
They needed the peace and quiet to think about the choices they had to make.
Derek needed to think about the best way of telling Addison how he felt. The best way of telling her he was in love with her. Telling her he wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to make her happy if she’d let him. Telling her he couldn’t see himself loving anyone the way he loved her. He needed to think about the possible outcomes of his confession. He needed to gather the courage to tell her how he felt.
And Mark was still trying to put his feelings into words so that he could tell her. He knew what he was feeling, but he couldn’t explain it. He knew he felt his heart beat faster whenever she was around, and he knew she made it skip a beat with every smile she sent his way. He knew his hands ached to touch her, and he’d kill to be able to see what her clothes were hiding. Somehow, an “I love you” didn’t even begin to cover it. He needed to find the words so he could tell her.
They had made their choices.
Addison, on the other hand, needed time to think about her friends, but she hadn’t even started to make a decission when one of her friends crawled into the tent and asked Naomi to leave them alone for a second. It wasn’t rare for Mark and Derek to want a moment alone with her, and she sometimes did the same with one of them. There were some things that called for a private discussion rather than a group meeting.
As soon as Naomi left the tent, though, she knew this wasn’t just another talk. Not with the way he was looking into her eyes, as if he was trying to read her mind. Not with the way he took a deep breath before speaking, as if he needed the extra second to make sure he was ready. “Addie, I...” He took her hands in his when she started fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
He didn’t want any distractions.
“I know this is probably not the best moment, but I couldn’t wait any longer, and... well, I love you. I know it’s not amazingly creative of me to say that, but... it’s the truth. I love you.” She stood quiet for a moment, looking at the boy in front of her, taking him in. And she knew this was it. He was it.
He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when she leaned in and placed her lips on his, and his arms immediately sneaked around her waist, pulling her close, as if he was scared of her running away from him and this being just a cruel joke.
But it was far from a joke.
And she knew she’d made the right choice, because she wouldn’t be this happy if she was in love with her other friend. And she wouldn’t be seeing fireworks behind her closed eyelids if she wasn’t in love with the one she was kissing. This was right. It felt impossibly right, and she felt like she’d die if he stopped kissing her. Luckily for Addison, he felt exactly the same way, and he wasn’t going to stop any time soon.
She parted her lips allowing his tongue to meet hers, and her hands traveled up the front of his shirt, grasping the fabric when they reached his chest. As he slid his hands under her shirt, caressing the soft skin of her lower back, he had to remind himself that Naomi was still outside waiting to go back inside, and that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to let this go too far. By the look on her face when their lips finally parted, she’d been as close as him to losing control of the situation.
And they knew they’d made the right choice.
Sitting by the fire, Naomi smiled when she heard her friend breathlessly saying an “I love you too”. She knew she’d be happy with him. For how long? She couldn’t tell, but she hoped it’d be forever. Thinking about the other boy, who had crawled into their tent as soon as she walked out of hers, she decided to go talk to him and hopefully cheer him up.
He was laying on the floor, looking at the light fabric above him, a slight frown on his face. He didn’t look at her when she crawled in, and she wondered if he was talking to himself when he spoke in a low voice. “Too late, right?” She smiled slightly as she laid down next to him. Of course he knew she knew. She knew everything. She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze before she answered his half-rhetorical question.
“Right.”
He winced when he heard it, and she knew she’d been right all along. He really did love her. “Do you think she’d... if I’d been first?” Naomi nodded slightly, even though he wasn’t looking at her. “Maybe.” It was his turn to nod. It hurt, but he knew it had been his fault for taking too long to make a choice.
They stayed in silence for a while, until they heard someone crawling into the tent and they both sat up, looking at the happy couple. Addison didn’t say anything, because she figured his arm around her and the happy looks on their faces pretty much explained everything. Naomi smiled at her friends and threw her arms around Addison.
“About damn time.”
After faking a smile for the happy couple, and feeling grateful for Naomi giving them enough conversation that he didn’t have to fake excitement anymore, Mark thought about the choice he didn’t have to make anymore. Being with her wasn’t a possibility. She was with his best friend.
He pushed the need to do something about it aside, because she looked happy, and she deserved that. She deserved to be with someone that made her smile like that, with smiles that reached her eyes and made her glow and light up the world - or at least his world - the way she did right that moment. And so, he made himself promise he’d step aside and let him have her. He’d be a good friend and bury his feelings for her under a thick layer of friendship.
As long as Derek made her smile like that.
mission_insane challenge. See my monster master table here.
Title: Choices [2/2]
Fandom: Grey's AnatomyxPrivate Practice
Ship(s): Addison/Derek, Addison/Mark, mentions of Naomi/Sam
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Prompt: Camping
Summary: Addison, Mark, Derek and Naomi go hiking while in med school. Mark and Derek have choices to make regarding their friendship with Addison. [Pre-Addek]
Chapter 1
A few hours later, Addison and Naomi sat on the grass watching the boys set up the tents. Naomi tried to make them let her help out, since she - unlike Addison - loved camping and actually knew how to do stuff, but they had been on their usual manly macho men mood ever since Addison told them about her date, and she wasn’t about to bruise their egos even further by being better at this nature stuff than them.
Naomi knew the reason for their manly macho men moods. She also knew the reason for Addison’s sudden one night stand mood. She was the wise one, and she knew things. Plus, she’d have to be extremely thick not to notice what was going on in their small group. About as thick as Addison, Mark and Derek. But maybe they weren’t thick. Maybe they were just all a bunch of self-centered morons who were too busy thinking about their own feelings to notice everyone else’s.
Yeah, that seemed to be about right.
So, she let the boys make a display of masculinity and camping skills in front of Addison, who was far too focused on massaging her own feet to notice anything else in the world, let alone her two best friends having a silent fight for her attention. But Naomi knew they didn’t need to do that, because as much as her friend tried to look indifferent, she couldn’t stop thinking about both of them.
Both of them, and that was basically the reason why Addison had gone on a wild sex spree in hopes of forgetting about her two best friends. Because, really, how are you supposed to choose between Perfectly Sweet and Perfectly Sexy? She couldn’t choose. Plus, what if she made the wrong choice, chose the one that wasn’t interested and broke the other’s heart? What if none of them was interested? What if they were both interested?
Would a threesome be completely unacceptable?
Yes, it would be completely unacceptable. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t dream - and daydream - about it more often than she’d ever admit. Because having Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloan in your bed, doing exactly what you wanted them to do... well, she’d have to be insane not to want that. And Addison wasn’t insane. Which is why she kept having second thoughts about this whole situation. Because, on a sexless level, she already had both of them, and she’d have to be insane to risk losing that, right?
Right. But knowing that didn’t mean she didn’t have feelings for them. For both of them. Knowing that didn’t mean she didn’t want Derek’s hand on hers when she walked from class to class, and Mark’s lips on hers when she walked into her room at night. Knowing that didn’t mean she didn’t want to be the one who made the always sweet Derek Shepherd go insane with lust, and the one who made the always sexy Mark Sloan whisper an “I love you”.
And she couldn’t choose.
Because Derek was Derek, and he made her feel like she was the only girl in the world. Or, at least, the only one who mattered. He made her feel special. He was the one who held her when she needed a hug, the one who didn’t mind staying home with her when she wanted to watch a movie, the one who brought her warm cocoa when she was in bed with a cold.
Derek was that guy. The one your whole family adores, and the one who proposes, buys you a house and is the perfect husband. And he made her feel like one of the girls in those chick-flicks she loved so much. She loved Derek Shepherd. She loved him in a way that made her want to walk around with him, share an ice-cream and then go back home and cuddle on the couch until they fell asleep.
She loved him in a committed, movie-love kind of way.
And Mark was Mark, and he made her blush with just a look, a smirk or a frown. He made her remember the different fantasies she’d had with him as the main character, and he made her feel sexy and wanted every single day. He was the one who took her out for drinks when she was worried about an exam, the one who rode every single roller coaster with her when they went to the amusement park, the one who wrestled her out of bed when she had a lazy day.
Mark was the guy your family doesn’t trust, the one who breaks your heart a little every other day and then makes you fall in love with him all over again, and the one you hate to love, but you do it anyway because it feels impossibly good. With Mark, she felt alive. And she loved Mark Sloan. She loved him in a way that made her want to see him flirt with every girl in the bar and know she’s the one he’s going home with, in a way that made her want to give it a shot, let herself fall and be able to tell everyone Mark was there to catch her. Prove everyone wrong when they called him a manwhore.
She loved him in a challenging, ready to fight kind of way.
And that was, basically, why she couldn’t choose. Things would be much easier if she could just have both. Mark and Derek. If she finally made her choice and chose one of them, would she still have the other? Would Derek still watch movies with her if she was Mark’s girlfriend? Would Mark still take her out if she was Derek’s? Was being Mark’s or Derek’s girlfriend worth not being their friend anymore?
She didn’t know the answer to any of those questions. And she couldn’t really ask Naomi, because her friend was wise but she knew she wouldn’t like whatever she said, so she chose not to ask. Because, if she said “Derek is too sweet for you, you’d get bored in a few years”, she’d have to both agree with her and get mad because she hates it when she’s right, and if she said “Mark would sleep with someone else and break your heart”, she’d have to do the same.
So, all in all, she couldn’t choose.
And, since she hated the way her head began to hurt when she’d been thinking about them for a while, she was grateful for Mark announcing they were done setting everything up and Derek saying they should start getting dinner ready. She couldn’t cook to save her life, but she stood up and started putting all the food out of the backpacks, because it helped her get her mind off them and the choices she had to make.
Denial is, apparently, a very good way of getting things done. Because when three out of four people are working so that they don’t have to acknowledge their feelings for one another, they work twice as hard as they normally would, and dinner is ready before they can even begin to feel hungry. Luckily for those three people, Naomi was there, and you could always count on her to make things go the way they’re supposed to be going, because she loved her friends.
Even if they were three self-centered morons.
And so, she took it upon herself to make sure no sensitive topics were touched during the dinner. Sensitive topics that, in her experience as the friend of the most pathetic love triangle known to manhood, included - but weren’t limited to - love, sex, dates, relationships, feelings and pretty much anything that wasn’t in the realm of the strictly friendly. No one ever said being the wise one was an easy job.
After an uneventful dinner in which they talked - again - about their classes, their professional dreams and other medicine related topics, they cleaned up and sat back down around the fire, figuring it was way too early to pretend they were tired and crawl into their tents. Even though, denial-wise, it sounded like the best idea ever.
But they knew Naomi would kick their asses if they didn’t stay for a while.
And so, they talked about Addison wanting to be an OB/GYN or a neonatal surgeon (because the world needed more happy families), Mark wanting to go into plastics (because the world needed more pretty people), Naomi wanting to be a fertility specialist (because the world needed more miracles) and Derek wanting to go into neurosurgery (because the world needed more healthy brains).
Talking about the future kept them entertained for a while, and it was almost 10 p.m when they decided to call it a night. Addison followed Naomi into one of the tents, Mark crawled into the other, and Derek stood by the fire for a little longer telling him he’d go inside in a moment. But Mark hoped he’d take his time, because he also needed a moment of peace and quiet to think. They all did, actually.
They needed the peace and quiet to think about the choices they had to make.
Derek needed to think about the best way of telling Addison how he felt. The best way of telling her he was in love with her. Telling her he wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to make her happy if she’d let him. Telling her he couldn’t see himself loving anyone the way he loved her. He needed to think about the possible outcomes of his confession. He needed to gather the courage to tell her how he felt.
And Mark was still trying to put his feelings into words so that he could tell her. He knew what he was feeling, but he couldn’t explain it. He knew he felt his heart beat faster whenever she was around, and he knew she made it skip a beat with every smile she sent his way. He knew his hands ached to touch her, and he’d kill to be able to see what her clothes were hiding. Somehow, an “I love you” didn’t even begin to cover it. He needed to find the words so he could tell her.
They had made their choices.
Addison, on the other hand, needed time to think about her friends, but she hadn’t even started to make a decission when one of her friends crawled into the tent and asked Naomi to leave them alone for a second. It wasn’t rare for Mark and Derek to want a moment alone with her, and she sometimes did the same with one of them. There were some things that called for a private discussion rather than a group meeting.
As soon as Naomi left the tent, though, she knew this wasn’t just another talk. Not with the way he was looking into her eyes, as if he was trying to read her mind. Not with the way he took a deep breath before speaking, as if he needed the extra second to make sure he was ready. “Addie, I...” He took her hands in his when she started fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
He didn’t want any distractions.
“I know this is probably not the best moment, but I couldn’t wait any longer, and... well, I love you. I know it’s not amazingly creative of me to say that, but... it’s the truth. I love you.” She stood quiet for a moment, looking at the boy in front of her, taking him in. And she knew this was it. He was it.
He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when she leaned in and placed her lips on his, and his arms immediately sneaked around her waist, pulling her close, as if he was scared of her running away from him and this being just a cruel joke.
But it was far from a joke.
And she knew she’d made the right choice, because she wouldn’t be this happy if she was in love with her other friend. And she wouldn’t be seeing fireworks behind her closed eyelids if she wasn’t in love with the one she was kissing. This was right. It felt impossibly right, and she felt like she’d die if he stopped kissing her. Luckily for Addison, he felt exactly the same way, and he wasn’t going to stop any time soon.
She parted her lips allowing his tongue to meet hers, and her hands traveled up the front of his shirt, grasping the fabric when they reached his chest. As he slid his hands under her shirt, caressing the soft skin of her lower back, he had to remind himself that Naomi was still outside waiting to go back inside, and that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to let this go too far. By the look on her face when their lips finally parted, she’d been as close as him to losing control of the situation.
And they knew they’d made the right choice.
Sitting by the fire, Naomi smiled when she heard her friend breathlessly saying an “I love you too”. She knew she’d be happy with him. For how long? She couldn’t tell, but she hoped it’d be forever. Thinking about the other boy, who had crawled into their tent as soon as she walked out of hers, she decided to go talk to him and hopefully cheer him up.
He was laying on the floor, looking at the light fabric above him, a slight frown on his face. He didn’t look at her when she crawled in, and she wondered if he was talking to himself when he spoke in a low voice. “Too late, right?” She smiled slightly as she laid down next to him. Of course he knew she knew. She knew everything. She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze before she answered his half-rhetorical question.
“Right.”
He winced when he heard it, and she knew she’d been right all along. He really did love her. “Do you think she’d... if I’d been first?” Naomi nodded slightly, even though he wasn’t looking at her. “Maybe.” It was his turn to nod. It hurt, but he knew it had been his fault for taking too long to make a choice.
They stayed in silence for a while, until they heard someone crawling into the tent and they both sat up, looking at the happy couple. Addison didn’t say anything, because she figured his arm around her and the happy looks on their faces pretty much explained everything. Naomi smiled at her friends and threw her arms around Addison.
“About damn time.”
After faking a smile for the happy couple, and feeling grateful for Naomi giving them enough conversation that he didn’t have to fake excitement anymore, Mark thought about the choice he didn’t have to make anymore. Being with her wasn’t a possibility. She was with his best friend.
He pushed the need to do something about it aside, because she looked happy, and she deserved that. She deserved to be with someone that made her smile like that, with smiles that reached her eyes and made her glow and light up the world - or at least his world - the way she did right that moment. And so, he made himself promise he’d step aside and let him have her. He’d be a good friend and bury his feelings for her under a thick layer of friendship.
As long as Derek made her smile like that.