(no subject)
Can't sleep right now.
I am doing very very good though and to answer you question Phil YES I AM TRUELY HAPPY.
In fact, it'd be nice if I wasn't so fucking chipper, it's sort of sad how relieved I feel and no I don't just want to be happy but goddamnit you know I am finally.
I feel truely and totally and honestly and genuinely, happy. I just feel so goddamn relieved.
I feel like all my relationships right now with everyone are genuine, there are friends I'd like to keep closer contact too, but even those I feel are healthy.
And it's unfortunate that the way things work I can't talk to Naythanyell no more because we OBVIOUSLY were in love but, the way things work, you know, they work, and this is what I need to breath again.
I danced so fucking hard in my apartment today. And laughed good laughs and played around.
And I'm not dreading on the past or figuring it in my mind. It's been let go. Woosh. There it goes.
It's not like a new chapter or anything, it's more like a totally different book. And it's not about getting the old trixy back, it's about what I've grown and learned and become and goodness and kindness and genuine happiness. Not crazy sneaky incognito shit.
Bad girls might go incognito sometimes but they're never very good at it. It must be our tempers.
School's not too hot but I'm totally revitalized to either do it and do good or do it and just suck and get ready to workworkwork.
I said if I danced hard enough all those negative feelings that stuck to my feet would slip off and they did. it involved a little kicking and screaming and running too, but I danced off the left overs.
Oh and I'm a totally fickle creature, ally was right, so like, don't hold me to my words on my ecstatic happiness, I'm sure to get bummed out sometimes, but....oh what the fuck ever, my future's so bright I gotta wear shades. Holla for a dolla and all that shit.
I am doing very very good though and to answer you question Phil YES I AM TRUELY HAPPY.
In fact, it'd be nice if I wasn't so fucking chipper, it's sort of sad how relieved I feel and no I don't just want to be happy but goddamnit you know I am finally.
I feel truely and totally and honestly and genuinely, happy. I just feel so goddamn relieved.
I feel like all my relationships right now with everyone are genuine, there are friends I'd like to keep closer contact too, but even those I feel are healthy.
And it's unfortunate that the way things work I can't talk to Naythanyell no more because we OBVIOUSLY were in love but, the way things work, you know, they work, and this is what I need to breath again.
I danced so fucking hard in my apartment today. And laughed good laughs and played around.
And I'm not dreading on the past or figuring it in my mind. It's been let go. Woosh. There it goes.
It's not like a new chapter or anything, it's more like a totally different book. And it's not about getting the old trixy back, it's about what I've grown and learned and become and goodness and kindness and genuine happiness. Not crazy sneaky incognito shit.
Bad girls might go incognito sometimes but they're never very good at it. It must be our tempers.
School's not too hot but I'm totally revitalized to either do it and do good or do it and just suck and get ready to workworkwork.
I said if I danced hard enough all those negative feelings that stuck to my feet would slip off and they did. it involved a little kicking and screaming and running too, but I danced off the left overs.
Oh and I'm a totally fickle creature, ally was right, so like, don't hold me to my words on my ecstatic happiness, I'm sure to get bummed out sometimes, but....oh what the fuck ever, my future's so bright I gotta wear shades. Holla for a dolla and all that shit.