(no subject)
For everyone who told me so,
why'd you have to tell me something like that?
So I did it and it didn't work but you all KNOW I don't regret trying again.
It's over for sure now. It was over when the baby grew but we just didn't get that closure that wes said never existed.
It doesn't
I'm supposed to close myself up.
I will.
Here's the deal people,
I've gone through some shit incase you didn't know that about me, and everytime I gave up a piece of myself, and that's why that shit doesn't really bother me too bad. It happend, it sucked, it still wasn't me. Well all that was left of me, I invested it in Nathaniel. I lived off of suicide till I met him. When shit gets bad you can give up and kill yourself, you'll die anyway, or try something new and see where you end up.
Well I gave up those pieces cause they never worked and then I gave everything I had to Nathaniel. I guess the problem was I had nothing else to give. Well that piece of me is gone now so I'm like this. I was a robot living off hope and the Tyra Banks show and trying to suck things out of Wes like his life energy but it wouldn't come inside of me- when he was gone and now the hope is gone and that's ok.
Here are my lies:
He never loved me and I hate him for it.
Duh that's not the truth you stupid fucking readers.
I am a heroine. I always said I wasn't but I fucking am alright. I fucking was. I gave so much and I wanted things for people and then I had nothing left and turned intot his shell of a person. I want to call everyone and for them to tell me what to do to be alright I just want to be alright I won't be alright and I just want to be alright you know I want to survive but I won't and I know it so I guess I don't really want it. Live off of suicide except I have nothing left to kill. Suicide is so dumb because there' snothing left to take from me.
Sell the rest of my bits to satan last night. He didn't keep his end of the deal. I guess that's why he's satan. Nathaniel thinks when I talk about the devil I'm tlaking about him but he doesn't know that I really do believe in heaven and hell. Maybe because I've seen it. Heroin and abortion. That's enough proof for me.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I w/ill listen to my music and be the whore that Nathaniel always new I was. I'll fuck around with all the wrong guys and I'll pump myself full of all the wrong things.
I will never fuck anyone else again, untill like, an hour from now, so I can get something out of it.
I will smoke myself retarded here by myself. I will talk to all of you and maybe suck you dry by accident and if I do I really am sorry my biggest apologies, I just don't mean to take but right nwo I've got nothing to give and I need something to fill me up.
I figured out my escape route.
Cigarettes and dancing.
Even better yet though is where I'm going to go. OH THE PLACES YOU WILL GO THE PLACES YOU WILL GO!!!!!!!!! FUCK A FAMILY I WILL NEVER HAVE ONE COMPRENDE? COMPRENDO! No family for me. I killed my fucking baby you fucking retards, why would you EVER think I could be a good person if I KILL YOUR FUCKING BABY. Well fuck a family. Nathaniel got screwed with it, and I'm not going to fuck around with that shit. Fuck birthcontrol though, I hate that shit it makes me sick and I've been using it for the fuckers who won't pull out. I'm not using it anymore, I'm using a coat hanger. And I'll keep all the babies laying on the floor next to my tampons and cigarettes buts and I'll let people tell me HOW TOTALLY UNFUCKING CLASSY IT IS. Cause I'll kill anything that grows inside of me, that hijacks my body like it thinks it belongs there. No one belongs inside of me, HOWS THIS FOR ME BEING STRONG NATHANIEL? I AM SO FUCKING STRONG I'M WILLING TO TAKE ALL MY PAIN OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE NOW BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S USELESS TRYING TO HURT MYSELF. THANKS FOR TELLING ME I'M A MONSTER I ALWAYS NEW IT AND I JUST NEVER KNEW IT.
I won't hurt you all on purpose don't be scared of me. Please I'm still kind and a hippie and I still love you all very much. But don't hate me for being destructive. Except me please that's all I wanted. Deny me and be doomed.
I'M SO GLAD I COULD'VE BEEN THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE TO YOU TO ABUSE AND USE AS YOU SEE FIT, WELL THAT SPECIAL TWO SOMEONES. THANK YOU FOR LYING TO ME. THANK YOU. I MADE MY BED I'LL LIE IN IT. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
YOU OUGHTA BE MORE CAREFUL AROUND THE LITTLE GIRLS BECAUSE WE ARN'T PLAY THINGS.
So I'm swearing to myself I'll fucking see california. I've got nothing to win. That's why nathaniel was so scared of me. because I wanted something of worht, I got a taste of creating life and I got all power hungry and he just couldn't take the responsiblity.
I've got some cash for my future and it'll go towards my fucking future. I'll see sunset strip and I'll be at all of tomorrow's parties and all that load of bullshit because ITS WHAT I L IKE.
why'd you have to tell me something like that?
So I did it and it didn't work but you all KNOW I don't regret trying again.
It's over for sure now. It was over when the baby grew but we just didn't get that closure that wes said never existed.
It doesn't
I'm supposed to close myself up.
I will.
Here's the deal people,
I've gone through some shit incase you didn't know that about me, and everytime I gave up a piece of myself, and that's why that shit doesn't really bother me too bad. It happend, it sucked, it still wasn't me. Well all that was left of me, I invested it in Nathaniel. I lived off of suicide till I met him. When shit gets bad you can give up and kill yourself, you'll die anyway, or try something new and see where you end up.
Well I gave up those pieces cause they never worked and then I gave everything I had to Nathaniel. I guess the problem was I had nothing else to give. Well that piece of me is gone now so I'm like this. I was a robot living off hope and the Tyra Banks show and trying to suck things out of Wes like his life energy but it wouldn't come inside of me- when he was gone and now the hope is gone and that's ok.
Here are my lies:
He never loved me and I hate him for it.
Duh that's not the truth you stupid fucking readers.
I am a heroine. I always said I wasn't but I fucking am alright. I fucking was. I gave so much and I wanted things for people and then I had nothing left and turned intot his shell of a person. I want to call everyone and for them to tell me what to do to be alright I just want to be alright I won't be alright and I just want to be alright you know I want to survive but I won't and I know it so I guess I don't really want it. Live off of suicide except I have nothing left to kill. Suicide is so dumb because there' snothing left to take from me.
Sell the rest of my bits to satan last night. He didn't keep his end of the deal. I guess that's why he's satan. Nathaniel thinks when I talk about the devil I'm tlaking about him but he doesn't know that I really do believe in heaven and hell. Maybe because I've seen it. Heroin and abortion. That's enough proof for me.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I w/ill listen to my music and be the whore that Nathaniel always new I was. I'll fuck around with all the wrong guys and I'll pump myself full of all the wrong things.
I will never fuck anyone else again, untill like, an hour from now, so I can get something out of it.
I will smoke myself retarded here by myself. I will talk to all of you and maybe suck you dry by accident and if I do I really am sorry my biggest apologies, I just don't mean to take but right nwo I've got nothing to give and I need something to fill me up.
I figured out my escape route.
Cigarettes and dancing.
Even better yet though is where I'm going to go. OH THE PLACES YOU WILL GO THE PLACES YOU WILL GO!!!!!!!!! FUCK A FAMILY I WILL NEVER HAVE ONE COMPRENDE? COMPRENDO! No family for me. I killed my fucking baby you fucking retards, why would you EVER think I could be a good person if I KILL YOUR FUCKING BABY. Well fuck a family. Nathaniel got screwed with it, and I'm not going to fuck around with that shit. Fuck birthcontrol though, I hate that shit it makes me sick and I've been using it for the fuckers who won't pull out. I'm not using it anymore, I'm using a coat hanger. And I'll keep all the babies laying on the floor next to my tampons and cigarettes buts and I'll let people tell me HOW TOTALLY UNFUCKING CLASSY IT IS. Cause I'll kill anything that grows inside of me, that hijacks my body like it thinks it belongs there. No one belongs inside of me, HOWS THIS FOR ME BEING STRONG NATHANIEL? I AM SO FUCKING STRONG I'M WILLING TO TAKE ALL MY PAIN OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE NOW BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S USELESS TRYING TO HURT MYSELF. THANKS FOR TELLING ME I'M A MONSTER I ALWAYS NEW IT AND I JUST NEVER KNEW IT.
I won't hurt you all on purpose don't be scared of me. Please I'm still kind and a hippie and I still love you all very much. But don't hate me for being destructive. Except me please that's all I wanted. Deny me and be doomed.
I'M SO GLAD I COULD'VE BEEN THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE TO YOU TO ABUSE AND USE AS YOU SEE FIT, WELL THAT SPECIAL TWO SOMEONES. THANK YOU FOR LYING TO ME. THANK YOU. I MADE MY BED I'LL LIE IN IT. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
YOU OUGHTA BE MORE CAREFUL AROUND THE LITTLE GIRLS BECAUSE WE ARN'T PLAY THINGS.
So I'm swearing to myself I'll fucking see california. I've got nothing to win. That's why nathaniel was so scared of me. because I wanted something of worht, I got a taste of creating life and I got all power hungry and he just couldn't take the responsiblity.
I've got some cash for my future and it'll go towards my fucking future. I'll see sunset strip and I'll be at all of tomorrow's parties and all that load of bullshit because ITS WHAT I L IKE.