John said if I didn't write a blog he would take me off his subscriptions....
Well...there are some many things to say but I honestly have no where to start other than the fact that my life hasn't been going as planned the past few months. And really you can say that about life but its offically driving me crazy now is the point I guess.I am not having a hard time seeing this in a good light it seems for one. I think I am having the worse case of bad luck due to things beyond my control. Also nothing has changed to much this year till now and change is something I take to heart. Like I realized the other day that I actually wanted to go to school. I mean I like school don't get me wrong but its something I have to want to be the in the mood for or else I do crappy at it. But I mean I realized how much I am missing in my career because I am missing a degree and some other skills.
I have two crazy dreams: move to a metropolis(New York/ L.A) and work as an AR person or engineer for a label. OR start my own managment/production business because I have the theory that people won't go to recording studios in a few years because its technology will be only for big time artists only. So I rather jumpstart people than do recording even though I love to do so.Regardless something needs to happen. I decided that I wanted to go visit L.A. this year and check it out to see if it might be worth wild.
I just don't know what to do about working at the studio right now. Because I thought I was suppose to work this weekend but its turns out I didn't even though I had a conversation with the director about it before. No ones called but its kind of the situation where I need to go in have a talk but I don't know what to say yet or even if my heart in it anymore. I have been there for three years now so its hard to say. But it shook me up a bit because that meant a lot would change.
I am not not really sure about anything in my life right now I guess thats what is bugging me the most.
Honestly I have been going nuts because of that and I keep having dreams about Matt. I am just dealing with that whole situation that well. It hurts because I wanted to marry Matt way back in the way back and now its somebody else and we had this big thing about it and I am trying to move on from something that has been going on and off for four years. Its just funny when you think someone was the love of your life and they turned out you were wrong...but honestly its for the better.
So yesterday I wanted to sleep all day for some reason and after I hung out with Ray I went for a drive. I went to see Kristi because she was feeling bad and then I had this urge to call Lance. I hadn't talked to him in a while because I was busy being depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone really. But I mean I just needed someone to tell me to stop worrying about stupid shit and a he makes me laugh. But yeah I had too many margaritas last night and we stayed up talking all night with his dog Nikki in my lap which made me feel better because friends and dogs are awesome like that. Even though this morning my head feels fuzzy.
I have two crazy dreams: move to a metropolis(New York/ L.A) and work as an AR person or engineer for a label. OR start my own managment/production business because I have the theory that people won't go to recording studios in a few years because its technology will be only for big time artists only. So I rather jumpstart people than do recording even though I love to do so.Regardless something needs to happen. I decided that I wanted to go visit L.A. this year and check it out to see if it might be worth wild.
I just don't know what to do about working at the studio right now. Because I thought I was suppose to work this weekend but its turns out I didn't even though I had a conversation with the director about it before. No ones called but its kind of the situation where I need to go in have a talk but I don't know what to say yet or even if my heart in it anymore. I have been there for three years now so its hard to say. But it shook me up a bit because that meant a lot would change.
I am not not really sure about anything in my life right now I guess thats what is bugging me the most.
Honestly I have been going nuts because of that and I keep having dreams about Matt. I am just dealing with that whole situation that well. It hurts because I wanted to marry Matt way back in the way back and now its somebody else and we had this big thing about it and I am trying to move on from something that has been going on and off for four years. Its just funny when you think someone was the love of your life and they turned out you were wrong...but honestly its for the better.
So yesterday I wanted to sleep all day for some reason and after I hung out with Ray I went for a drive. I went to see Kristi because she was feeling bad and then I had this urge to call Lance. I hadn't talked to him in a while because I was busy being depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone really. But I mean I just needed someone to tell me to stop worrying about stupid shit and a he makes me laugh. But yeah I had too many margaritas last night and we stayed up talking all night with his dog Nikki in my lap which made me feel better because friends and dogs are awesome like that. Even though this morning my head feels fuzzy.