butterflies
Title: butterflies
Pairing: Sungmin x Yesung bff-ery
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2200+
Notes: Yesung POV. A series of moments. For ununoriginal.
Summary:Yesung and Sungmin prepare for Hong Gil Dong.
butterflies
~~~~~
The initial cast meeting is awkward and far too long, four hours of self-introductions and self-praise, of going through the finalized script and sizing each other up. Yesung begins to fidget after the first hour and tries his best to ignore the appraising glances sent his way, but it’s hard when everyone seems to be doing so. And maybe it bothers Yesung a little that next to him, Sungmin appears completely calm, sitting with a confident and eased air that Sungmin has perfected over the years, but it helps that his eyes are alert and lips thinly pursed.
Still, Yesung registers awkward hellos with new staff and new faces, repeats to himself names that he has already begun to forget. He gives even more stilted greetings to his fellow actors, veterans while Yesung is just a novice, particularly the two other Hong Gil Dongs. He can feel it as they rake hawk eyes over him, discontent carefully concealed as they bow to each other, you’re-an-idol-you-better-prove-you’re-worth-it on the tips of their tongues when they say nice to meet you. Sungmin moves next to Yesung as they greet each other, and the four of them stand, four actors with one role, four Hong Gil Dongs.
He begins to compare himself with the others immediately, even though he knows this is the last thing he should do. He knows the rhetoric like the back of his small hand: that even though there are four actors playing one role, each will be a unique and special representation of the character, that they will not be compared because they cannot be compared. Still, he can’t really help himself, he's only human. He can feel Sungmin doing the same, smile bright as he charms them with Sungmin-wit while warily observing the other actors at the same time.
The four hours pass in painfully slow motion, and by the end of the night, Yesung has bowed a hundred times and his mouth aches with too-polite smiles. Still, he bows and he smiles and he bows and he smiles until finally, he manages to extract himself from the meeting. He squeezes into the car exhausted, where Sungmin is already tugging off his jacket and piling it up behind his head as a makeshift pillow.
He cracks an eye open when Yesung nearly breaks his seat to lean it back as far as it can go. "What’d you think?"
Yesung opens his mouth with a flood of worries and complaints on his mind, but then he pauses, shrugs. Anything he’s worried about he’s sure Sungmin is as well. More importantly, his face feels stiff with one too many pleasant idol-smiles and his back aches from sitting in that shoddy plastic chair for so long. Still, it’s cute, sort of, how Sungmin gets randomly chatty when he’s tired, and Yesung rolls his knuckles into the back of his neck in a poor attempt to massage the knots that have settled there.
"We have a lot of work ahead of us," he says. Sungmin only hums in reply, and when Yesung turns his head, he can see the exhaustion that swims unfiltered and stark in Sungmin’s eyes. He knows that exhaustion; it’s the same kind that makes him restless with worry, that wreaks havoc on his nerves. Thank God, he thinks, for a brief second, because even if they’re going to be compared, at least they’re in the same boat.
Yesung clasps an awkward hand on Sungmin’s shoulder, and Sungmin’s eyes flash with a simple sort of gratitude before he closes them. He’s never been a really amazing hyung, and Sungmin’s always been surprisingly understanding about it, but Yesung supposes this is the least he could do. He pulls his hand down and grabs Sungmin’s hand carefully, gives it a manly pump before rubbing some warmth into cold digits.
"We’re going to be fine," he says softly, and Sungmin mumbles his agreement, nudging Yesung’s hand in return before they both turn in their seats and fall quickly asleep.
~~~~~
Sungmin lets himself into Yesung’s room the night before the press conference, and the moment their eyes meet Yesung already knows what Sungmin is going to say. It is going to be polite and just a little fake, about helping one another and giving each other strength. He'll spout age-old adages about friendship and comparing-is-inevitable-but-we-are-more-than-that and other sentimental crap, and it will all be so very Sungmin. Yesung prepares his gag reflex, even though he’s already beginning to smile.
"Let’s not make this a contest," Sungmin says, true to form, "we should be supporting each other, not competing, don’t you think?" He pauses, fingers idling at Ryeowook’s cotton sheets, and Yesung has half a mind to tell him to lay off, because Ryeowook likes clean sheets, and - "I’m not going to show you up, if that’s what you’re worried about."
At that Yesung starts, and somehow manages to bite back the obvious. Because maybe, really, that’s exactly what he is worried about, and damn it if Yesung is going to be pushed aside again by a fellow band mate. But he swallows his complaints and grinds his teeth, grimacing at the sound; he bites his lip instead. He’s the hyung here, right? He can be mature, really, even if he still is maybe a little worried that Sungmin is going to one-up him and make him look bad.
"So what, are we going to be all sentimental and supportive of each other now that we’re doing this together? You really think you’re going to like being worse than me when the play shows?" Yesung retorts, defenses kicking in even before he has a chance of reining them in. Okay fine, so maybe he’s not going to be completely mature about it. He’s still young - even if everyone in their apartment loves to crow that he’s the old one on their floor; to hell with them, he’s young at heart - so it’s allowed, right?
Sungmin laughs good-naturedly, and Yesung feels all vestiges of his competitive spirit die. Sungmin tends to do that, somehow. Perhaps if they weren’t so close, if they didn’t know each other, then maybe he could compete guilt free,. But instead he’s up against Sungmin, and he actually likes the kid, damn it. Still, Sungmin smirks, teasing as always. For a moment, his eyes are dark, like they are before a race, or a fight. "Don’t get your hopes up, hyung."
At that, Yesung can’t help but laugh. They’re Super Junior after all, only two of thirteen; competition probably runs in their veins or bleeds in their hearts or something. "Same to you."
~~~~~
They’re filming for the musical’s commercial, and Sungmin apparently thinks that every intense look Yesung flashes the camera is hilarious.
"Okay, truth or truth? You looked really stupid just now."
Yesung glares as he rolls off the mat, "Shut up, they said they were going to add the CG butterfly later. Or…CG something. Whatever, it’s going to look awesome."
Sungmin gropes a hand awkwardly out toward the sky, and an exaggerated look of constipation flashes on his face before he straightens and grins widely. "That was you, in case you couldn’t tell."
"Yeah, don’t worry, I got it," Yesung grits out. "And it’s not like you’re going to look any cooler when you have to do it."
"That’s what you think," Sungmin snorts, "I’m going to look gorgeous." And five-year-old insults are on the tip of Yesung’s tongue, but before he can retort, Yesung notes the sleep circles that hang under Sungmin’s eyes and light acne scars speckled near Sungmin’s temples. He probably should be in makeup right now instead of talking to Yesung, but for some reason Yesung feels reluctant to let him go and begin work.
"Did you sleep yesterday?" Yesung asks, and Sungmin raises a brow.
"What is this? Concern for little old me?"
Yesung huffs, not bothering to respond to that. "Kyuhyun said you went to bed later than him because you were reading your script through the night. He also said his starcraft game ended at four in the morning. Sungmin, that is just wrong on so many levels."
Sungmin smiles and raises his hands in peace offering, "I’ll go to bed early tonight, promise." Yesung nods gruffly, and his bangs fall into his eyes. As he reaches up awkwardly to pull the hair away, Sungmin tilts his head. "The wig looks good on you," he says.
Yesung starts at the compliment, then laughs. "You think so?" he says in a high pitched voice. He fakes chewing gum as he twirls loose strands of coarse horse hair around his fingers, and Sungmin pretend-wretches.
"I take that back, you look hideous," Sungmin says.
~~~~~
There is a fight scene, and Sungmin is beautiful.
Or maybe that’s the wrong order, but either way, it is beginning to piss Yesung off. Sungmin has always been a graceful martial artist, as well as a dancer, and it shows as he practices the battle choreography. He handles weapons with ease, feet sweeping the floor silently as he fills the room with movement, and the choreographer keeps complimenting Sungmin’s fluidity and ability to adapt the movements. A born natural the choreographer crows, and Sungmin flushes while Yesung scowls.
Yesung, on the other hand, keeps dropping his practice sword, and nearly stabs himself with it a couple of times. With Sungmin, the choreographer can't stop beaming, whereas with Yesung his smile strains quickly, and by the end of the hours’ practice, the polite smile has disappeared completely into a thin annoyed line. And sure, maybe he's a better singer than Sungmin and they both know it, but that's not important right now. What's important is that Sungmin has memorized the martial arts set hours ago, and Yesung still can't seem to hold his sword correctly.
Still, Yesung continues to familiarize himself with the equipment slowly, much to the choreographer's despair, and finally, the rehearsal ends. He has barely done a complete run through of the complicated routine, and he slumps to the ground in defeat. As Yesung curses his awkward limbs unused to weaponry, Sungmin squats next to him with a water bottle and towel. "You okay?"
Yesung thinks about feigning strength, because he is still more than a little jealous, but his muscles ache and he’s just so damn frustrated, so instead he kicks weakly at a smudge of dirt on the studio floor. "I’m exhausted," he mutters, and begins chugging down the water gratefully.
Sungmin pauses. "Good." Yesung glances up as Sungmin settles down beside him, "I hate it when you pretend you’re okay when you’re not."
Yesung snorts. "Well I hate it when you’re good at something I’m not, so shut up," he grumbles.
Sungmin rolls his eyes, and steals some of Yesung’s water. It’s been a long day and they’re both worn out, so they sit in silence for a few precious minutes before Sungmin pats Yesung’s knee gently. "Let’s go over the choreography tomorrow. I think tonight we need to just go back and sleep."
And even though a part of Yesung’s feeble brain resists, demands that he stay behind to practice some more, Sungmin just looks at him and he knows he’s not going to win this one. And maybe he doesn't really want to. Maybe he's just too tired. So he sighs, and Sungmin helps him up.
~~~~~
They’re sitting in the middle of the living room, limbs splayed as they rest. They’ve just finished the second run through of the script for the night, and it’s nearing three in the morning. Sungmin can’t stop giggling, half out of amusement (possibly at Yesung’s face, Yesung is too tired to really care right now) and half out of delirious exhaustion. Yesung keeps weakly slapping Sungmin, hoping he’ll shut up. He doesn’t.
Still, it’s comfortable, and what’s more important is that finally, at 2:53 AM, they can relax. They are prepared, encouraged, ready for the first show in a few days' time, and it feels so good.
Sungmin reaches out blindly to grab Yesung’s shirt and he breathes thank you’s into Yesung’s sleeve.
Yesung lets his eyes flutter shut.
~~~~~
It’s opening night, and Yesung’s the first one on the chopping block. He knows that he can do this, that all the hours and days of practicing won’t go to waste, can’t go to waste. They can’t, because he is Yesung, and a Super Junior member, and better than the nerves that are tumbling in his stomach and causing him to burn a path in the rug as he paces back and forth in the dressing room. He knows this, he knows he knowsheknowsheknows-
"Hyung," Sungmin says, and Yesung nearly trips as he halts. When did he get in here? "Hyung, you’re going to be fine."
Yesung attempts to say something cool and hyung-like but instead he chokes on air and nearly wheezes. "I think I just forgot the script to the first half of the romantic arc," Yesung panics. "Sungmin, please stop me from getting on stage."
Sungmin rolls his eyes, "Fine, I’ll do it then." Yesung snaps a wary glare at Sungmin and he laughs, "Seriously, you have nothing to worry about." A pause. "Can you please put on some clothes?...No really, why aren’t you clothed yet?"
Yesung grumbles awkwardly and crosses his arms over his chest, "I got distracted," he mumbles, and Sungmin bursts out in laughter, grabbing a hanger of clothes from a frantic looking cordi and thrusting it in Yesung’s face.
"You can do this," Sungmin nods encouragingly, and he places a hand on Yesung's bare shoulder for emphasis. "You can put on these clothes, and you can get on that stage, and you can, and will be, fantastic."
Yesung breathes.
"Okay," he says, and he takes the hanger.
~~~~~
Notes: The title is "butterflies" because there were some pretty cg butterflies in the cm and I COULDN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME THINK OF ANOTHER TITLE T_T.
...Comments make me smile like this--> :DDDDDDD!
Pairing: Sungmin x Yesung bff-ery
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2200+
Notes: Yesung POV. A series of moments. For ununoriginal.
Summary:Yesung and Sungmin prepare for Hong Gil Dong.
butterflies
~~~~~
The initial cast meeting is awkward and far too long, four hours of self-introductions and self-praise, of going through the finalized script and sizing each other up. Yesung begins to fidget after the first hour and tries his best to ignore the appraising glances sent his way, but it’s hard when everyone seems to be doing so. And maybe it bothers Yesung a little that next to him, Sungmin appears completely calm, sitting with a confident and eased air that Sungmin has perfected over the years, but it helps that his eyes are alert and lips thinly pursed.
Still, Yesung registers awkward hellos with new staff and new faces, repeats to himself names that he has already begun to forget. He gives even more stilted greetings to his fellow actors, veterans while Yesung is just a novice, particularly the two other Hong Gil Dongs. He can feel it as they rake hawk eyes over him, discontent carefully concealed as they bow to each other, you’re-an-idol-you-better-prove-you’re-worth-it on the tips of their tongues when they say nice to meet you. Sungmin moves next to Yesung as they greet each other, and the four of them stand, four actors with one role, four Hong Gil Dongs.
He begins to compare himself with the others immediately, even though he knows this is the last thing he should do. He knows the rhetoric like the back of his small hand: that even though there are four actors playing one role, each will be a unique and special representation of the character, that they will not be compared because they cannot be compared. Still, he can’t really help himself, he's only human. He can feel Sungmin doing the same, smile bright as he charms them with Sungmin-wit while warily observing the other actors at the same time.
The four hours pass in painfully slow motion, and by the end of the night, Yesung has bowed a hundred times and his mouth aches with too-polite smiles. Still, he bows and he smiles and he bows and he smiles until finally, he manages to extract himself from the meeting. He squeezes into the car exhausted, where Sungmin is already tugging off his jacket and piling it up behind his head as a makeshift pillow.
He cracks an eye open when Yesung nearly breaks his seat to lean it back as far as it can go. "What’d you think?"
Yesung opens his mouth with a flood of worries and complaints on his mind, but then he pauses, shrugs. Anything he’s worried about he’s sure Sungmin is as well. More importantly, his face feels stiff with one too many pleasant idol-smiles and his back aches from sitting in that shoddy plastic chair for so long. Still, it’s cute, sort of, how Sungmin gets randomly chatty when he’s tired, and Yesung rolls his knuckles into the back of his neck in a poor attempt to massage the knots that have settled there.
"We have a lot of work ahead of us," he says. Sungmin only hums in reply, and when Yesung turns his head, he can see the exhaustion that swims unfiltered and stark in Sungmin’s eyes. He knows that exhaustion; it’s the same kind that makes him restless with worry, that wreaks havoc on his nerves. Thank God, he thinks, for a brief second, because even if they’re going to be compared, at least they’re in the same boat.
Yesung clasps an awkward hand on Sungmin’s shoulder, and Sungmin’s eyes flash with a simple sort of gratitude before he closes them. He’s never been a really amazing hyung, and Sungmin’s always been surprisingly understanding about it, but Yesung supposes this is the least he could do. He pulls his hand down and grabs Sungmin’s hand carefully, gives it a manly pump before rubbing some warmth into cold digits.
"We’re going to be fine," he says softly, and Sungmin mumbles his agreement, nudging Yesung’s hand in return before they both turn in their seats and fall quickly asleep.
~~~~~
Sungmin lets himself into Yesung’s room the night before the press conference, and the moment their eyes meet Yesung already knows what Sungmin is going to say. It is going to be polite and just a little fake, about helping one another and giving each other strength. He'll spout age-old adages about friendship and comparing-is-inevitable-but-we-are-more-than-that and other sentimental crap, and it will all be so very Sungmin. Yesung prepares his gag reflex, even though he’s already beginning to smile.
"Let’s not make this a contest," Sungmin says, true to form, "we should be supporting each other, not competing, don’t you think?" He pauses, fingers idling at Ryeowook’s cotton sheets, and Yesung has half a mind to tell him to lay off, because Ryeowook likes clean sheets, and - "I’m not going to show you up, if that’s what you’re worried about."
At that Yesung starts, and somehow manages to bite back the obvious. Because maybe, really, that’s exactly what he is worried about, and damn it if Yesung is going to be pushed aside again by a fellow band mate. But he swallows his complaints and grinds his teeth, grimacing at the sound; he bites his lip instead. He’s the hyung here, right? He can be mature, really, even if he still is maybe a little worried that Sungmin is going to one-up him and make him look bad.
"So what, are we going to be all sentimental and supportive of each other now that we’re doing this together? You really think you’re going to like being worse than me when the play shows?" Yesung retorts, defenses kicking in even before he has a chance of reining them in. Okay fine, so maybe he’s not going to be completely mature about it. He’s still young - even if everyone in their apartment loves to crow that he’s the old one on their floor; to hell with them, he’s young at heart - so it’s allowed, right?
Sungmin laughs good-naturedly, and Yesung feels all vestiges of his competitive spirit die. Sungmin tends to do that, somehow. Perhaps if they weren’t so close, if they didn’t know each other, then maybe he could compete guilt free,. But instead he’s up against Sungmin, and he actually likes the kid, damn it. Still, Sungmin smirks, teasing as always. For a moment, his eyes are dark, like they are before a race, or a fight. "Don’t get your hopes up, hyung."
At that, Yesung can’t help but laugh. They’re Super Junior after all, only two of thirteen; competition probably runs in their veins or bleeds in their hearts or something. "Same to you."
~~~~~
They’re filming for the musical’s commercial, and Sungmin apparently thinks that every intense look Yesung flashes the camera is hilarious.
"Okay, truth or truth? You looked really stupid just now."
Yesung glares as he rolls off the mat, "Shut up, they said they were going to add the CG butterfly later. Or…CG something. Whatever, it’s going to look awesome."
Sungmin gropes a hand awkwardly out toward the sky, and an exaggerated look of constipation flashes on his face before he straightens and grins widely. "That was you, in case you couldn’t tell."
"Yeah, don’t worry, I got it," Yesung grits out. "And it’s not like you’re going to look any cooler when you have to do it."
"That’s what you think," Sungmin snorts, "I’m going to look gorgeous." And five-year-old insults are on the tip of Yesung’s tongue, but before he can retort, Yesung notes the sleep circles that hang under Sungmin’s eyes and light acne scars speckled near Sungmin’s temples. He probably should be in makeup right now instead of talking to Yesung, but for some reason Yesung feels reluctant to let him go and begin work.
"Did you sleep yesterday?" Yesung asks, and Sungmin raises a brow.
"What is this? Concern for little old me?"
Yesung huffs, not bothering to respond to that. "Kyuhyun said you went to bed later than him because you were reading your script through the night. He also said his starcraft game ended at four in the morning. Sungmin, that is just wrong on so many levels."
Sungmin smiles and raises his hands in peace offering, "I’ll go to bed early tonight, promise." Yesung nods gruffly, and his bangs fall into his eyes. As he reaches up awkwardly to pull the hair away, Sungmin tilts his head. "The wig looks good on you," he says.
Yesung starts at the compliment, then laughs. "You think so?" he says in a high pitched voice. He fakes chewing gum as he twirls loose strands of coarse horse hair around his fingers, and Sungmin pretend-wretches.
"I take that back, you look hideous," Sungmin says.
~~~~~
There is a fight scene, and Sungmin is beautiful.
Or maybe that’s the wrong order, but either way, it is beginning to piss Yesung off. Sungmin has always been a graceful martial artist, as well as a dancer, and it shows as he practices the battle choreography. He handles weapons with ease, feet sweeping the floor silently as he fills the room with movement, and the choreographer keeps complimenting Sungmin’s fluidity and ability to adapt the movements. A born natural the choreographer crows, and Sungmin flushes while Yesung scowls.
Yesung, on the other hand, keeps dropping his practice sword, and nearly stabs himself with it a couple of times. With Sungmin, the choreographer can't stop beaming, whereas with Yesung his smile strains quickly, and by the end of the hours’ practice, the polite smile has disappeared completely into a thin annoyed line. And sure, maybe he's a better singer than Sungmin and they both know it, but that's not important right now. What's important is that Sungmin has memorized the martial arts set hours ago, and Yesung still can't seem to hold his sword correctly.
Still, Yesung continues to familiarize himself with the equipment slowly, much to the choreographer's despair, and finally, the rehearsal ends. He has barely done a complete run through of the complicated routine, and he slumps to the ground in defeat. As Yesung curses his awkward limbs unused to weaponry, Sungmin squats next to him with a water bottle and towel. "You okay?"
Yesung thinks about feigning strength, because he is still more than a little jealous, but his muscles ache and he’s just so damn frustrated, so instead he kicks weakly at a smudge of dirt on the studio floor. "I’m exhausted," he mutters, and begins chugging down the water gratefully.
Sungmin pauses. "Good." Yesung glances up as Sungmin settles down beside him, "I hate it when you pretend you’re okay when you’re not."
Yesung snorts. "Well I hate it when you’re good at something I’m not, so shut up," he grumbles.
Sungmin rolls his eyes, and steals some of Yesung’s water. It’s been a long day and they’re both worn out, so they sit in silence for a few precious minutes before Sungmin pats Yesung’s knee gently. "Let’s go over the choreography tomorrow. I think tonight we need to just go back and sleep."
And even though a part of Yesung’s feeble brain resists, demands that he stay behind to practice some more, Sungmin just looks at him and he knows he’s not going to win this one. And maybe he doesn't really want to. Maybe he's just too tired. So he sighs, and Sungmin helps him up.
~~~~~
They’re sitting in the middle of the living room, limbs splayed as they rest. They’ve just finished the second run through of the script for the night, and it’s nearing three in the morning. Sungmin can’t stop giggling, half out of amusement (possibly at Yesung’s face, Yesung is too tired to really care right now) and half out of delirious exhaustion. Yesung keeps weakly slapping Sungmin, hoping he’ll shut up. He doesn’t.
Still, it’s comfortable, and what’s more important is that finally, at 2:53 AM, they can relax. They are prepared, encouraged, ready for the first show in a few days' time, and it feels so good.
Sungmin reaches out blindly to grab Yesung’s shirt and he breathes thank you’s into Yesung’s sleeve.
Yesung lets his eyes flutter shut.
~~~~~
It’s opening night, and Yesung’s the first one on the chopping block. He knows that he can do this, that all the hours and days of practicing won’t go to waste, can’t go to waste. They can’t, because he is Yesung, and a Super Junior member, and better than the nerves that are tumbling in his stomach and causing him to burn a path in the rug as he paces back and forth in the dressing room. He knows this, he knows he knowsheknowsheknows-
"Hyung," Sungmin says, and Yesung nearly trips as he halts. When did he get in here? "Hyung, you’re going to be fine."
Yesung attempts to say something cool and hyung-like but instead he chokes on air and nearly wheezes. "I think I just forgot the script to the first half of the romantic arc," Yesung panics. "Sungmin, please stop me from getting on stage."
Sungmin rolls his eyes, "Fine, I’ll do it then." Yesung snaps a wary glare at Sungmin and he laughs, "Seriously, you have nothing to worry about." A pause. "Can you please put on some clothes?...No really, why aren’t you clothed yet?"
Yesung grumbles awkwardly and crosses his arms over his chest, "I got distracted," he mumbles, and Sungmin bursts out in laughter, grabbing a hanger of clothes from a frantic looking cordi and thrusting it in Yesung’s face.
"You can do this," Sungmin nods encouragingly, and he places a hand on Yesung's bare shoulder for emphasis. "You can put on these clothes, and you can get on that stage, and you can, and will be, fantastic."
Yesung breathes.
"Okay," he says, and he takes the hanger.
~~~~~
Notes: The title is "butterflies" because there were some pretty cg butterflies in the cm and I COULDN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME THINK OF ANOTHER TITLE T_T.
...Comments make me smile like this--> :DDDDDDD!