Title: The way to love
Length: Double shot [1/2] (2761 words)
Author:
jadexscandalPairing: YunJae
Rating: PG13
Themes: Romance, Fluff.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me
Warning: Homophobia
Summary: A high school story about a gay guy and a curious jock on their way to love.
A/N: Wrote this for all of you who supported me the past year! Have a special message for all of you
Right here ! It's inspired by Alex Sanchez' Rainbow boys trilogy!
“Alright everyone, since it’s the first class this year and want you all to write one page about what you expect to happen this year, or things you’re thinking on the moment. It’s not for a grade but I still want you all to take it seriously, so you can see what you expect from yourself, or what you want.”
“Do we really have to?!”
“Yes, you all have to, now get to work!”
Kim Jaejoong, class A3
-I don’t know what to expect this year.. I could tell myself bullshit like this year’s going to be better than others, but I just know that if I do that I’ll disappoint myself. So I’ll just tell things that are on my mind right now. I’ve been thinking things over and came to the conclusion I’m different from other boys of my age…. Because they, like, have interests in girls and football. I found out that I’m not interested in both of them and that’s when I started to realized that there might be a reason why I don’t like those things..I’m just not brave enough to write that 3 letter word on this paper, who knows what happens when I lose it somewhere?! They’ll think I’m crazy.. I shouldn’t have written my name on top of the page. Anyway, back to the point. I’m thinking that I might be.. different from my classmates. They mostly talk about girls and somehow that makes me uncomfortable, because I don’t like girls. But.. Does that mean I’m.. I’m gay? Okay, not that I have something against gay people, since my best friend came out last year, being bisexual. I hang out with him a lot! He’s really the best friend I’ve ever had but.. I don’t know if I’m the same as him, by means of liking guys. Well… Maybe I do, because there’s one guy I certainly get goose bumps from when I see him, Jung Yunho, the number 1 jock in our school.. I tell you, when I walk past him and I see his smile I just… I don’t know! It’s so weird that I don’t know what to do, Jung Yunho is like sex on legs! If it wasn’t for my status and me being shy, I would have stepped up and talked to him, but unfortunately… I’m just a nobody and extremely shy! The only one who knows I have this huge crush on him is Yoochun, my best friend… And he told me I might be gay since I never had a girlfriend and I’m practically drooling over some guy.... Well, there's one thing I know for sure.
I love Jung Yunho.-
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Jaejoong sat in the school cafeteria during lunch break, taking some zips from his milk carton when he stared intensively at the table of the school’s soccer team. Continuously drinking and sighing, like a lovesick girl. Something he could annoy his best friend with.
“Could you please stop drooling right in front of me?” He tilted his face up and beamed a glare at him. “It’s none of your business.”
“You’re staring at the guy again, right?” Yoochun said as he crossed his arms on his chest.
“So what? This is a free country, so I can stare at whoever I want.” Jaejoong stuck his tongue out and continued staring.
Yoochun shrugged his shoulders and huffed. “Staring doesn't help you to get him, you know.”
But Jaejoong didn't react to that, nor did he agree. Of course it wouldn't really work out when he'd keep sitting there without taking any kind of action. But he just enjoyed staring at Jung Yunho, the best soccer player and team captain of Seoul University's team.
He sighed and sunk deeper in a daydream that existed of roses, chocolate and Jung Yunho. The perfect combination for an almost wet dream. Which Yoochun thought was disgusting.
“That's it, I'm going to go outside for a while.” He lifted himself from his chair, all annoyed at his best friend. “You can join me if you're capable enough to act normal again.”
But Jaejoong waved his hand at Yoochun, one of his common gesture that meant he had to shut up.
“Fine.” With that Yoochun left Jaejoong alone in his little, dreamy world. How much Jaejoong wouldn't give to make Jung Yunho smile like he did right now, just when one of his friends told him a joke or told him something funny, he wasn't sure what it was.
He'd never been this head over heels for someone. But Jung Yunho wasn't just a someone. Sex on legs was what a lot of people called him.
Girls, guys, teacher. No exceptions.
But like he didn't know he had zero chance to get on his case. He was a jock, a popular STRAIGHT jock. While Jaejoong was an average, GAY student. The gap between them was just too big, to Jaejoong's sorrow.
“It's so unfair...” He hissed quietly when he saw some of the popular girls walking up to him and brushing her slender, smooth fingers on Yunho's cheek. He bit on his lips, how shamefully jealous could he be.
The ringing of the bell brought him back to reality, but suddenly something occurred to Jaejoong, something he'd normally never forget; He'd have maths class with Jung Yunho right now!
---
When I entered the classroom I already choked on my own breath. There he was, the handsome Jung Yunho, sitting at a desk close to the window. He was staring into space. Well, actually out of the window. He really looked so handsome that I thought I was going to die if I would stare at him longer.
Maybe Yoochun was right, maybe I should stop staring at him all the time. I sat down as casually as possible and got my books out of my bag. Maths was my best subject in school, and I didn't only look forward to each class because my dream hunk was in the same class. How Mrs. Lee explained equalities and other math problems inspired me. Even a brainless piece of shit could understand her explanations.
But even when she was lecturing us my eyes would dart of to Yunho once in a while. As you might have guessed, he wasn't paying attention at all, what a surprise. He has all the flaws of your usual Jock-type.
I tried my best to concentrate, but how could I when Yunho was only a little distance away from me? Impossible. When I tried to copy the instruction Mrs. Lee wrote on the black board I felt something hitting my head. I rubbed the hurt spot and saw a crumbled piece of paper next to my chair. As curious as I am, I open it and read it;
“Queer”
Typical. Not only hasn't it been long since I came out to my parents, my friend and my classmates. Teachers assured me it was the best to share it with class, but in the end it was an mistake after all. I'd receive such notes a lot.
Fag, fairy, sissy, homo and now queer. Well, they weren't really original.
It wasn't that the notes and the insults didn't reach me, because in some ways they always did. I just had to be strong and endure the little bit of them, waiting until they get bored by my neutral replies. I don't to grant their fun.
My eyes shifted to Yunho again, still inventively staring out of the window. I wondered what he was thinking about, would he be worrying about trivial things? The next soccer match? His girlfriend maybe? The thoughts of him having a girlfriend gave me goosebumps. I didn't want some girl to hang on him, I wanted to be the one hanging on him, of course.
Without noticing I had been writing Yunho's name on my notebook for like 100 times and had decorated it with numerous of heart. Blushing I turned it around and start scribbling the study material from the black board again.
Why was it so hard to keep my attention away from Yunho? He was just too good-looking not to notice..
Sometimes I hated myself for being in love with a popular guy like Yunho, for myself falling in love with guys while normally I should be drooling over boobs and bums. At first I kept questioning myself;
“Jaejoong, why are you different from others?” - “Jaejoong, why do you like guys?!” - “Jaejoong, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GAY?!”
I've had a lot of troubles with myself of course, but my parents were understanding and managed to promise me they'd always be there for me.. Actually, I've always been the independent type, even though I'm shy. Poor parents.
My life wasn't easy, but didn't change after I came out. Well... Those notes aren't a change either. Instead of “Queer” they'd write “Nerd”. I always told myself to be strong, so I somehow got immune to those insults.
Class ended in a rush, I quickly collected my stuff and dashed out of the room to go to English class with Yoochun. I always told Yoochun everything about what happened during maths. This time, about Yunho, the insulting notes and Yunho.
“They still do that?”Yoochun asked worried. “Isn't it time to go to Principal Han or someone?”
But I shook my head. “Nah, that's like throwing gasoline on fire.” I stated, quite proud of myself saying that. “Besides, like they'd listen to principal Han's preaching?”
Now I thought of it, we'd usually fall asleep during principal Han's morning lecture.
“Hmm.. You're right. Stupid plan.” Yoochun gave in.
Then, our English teacher, Mr Jones, came in and told us to take out our books, but when I wanted to take my notebook out it wasn't there. I started to panic, I needed my notebook. And not just because my homework was in there... But my drabbles of Yunho's name, decorated with a good amount of hearts, were there! If someone would see that I'd be dead meat! I'd be beaten up by the guys of his team for being in love with their captain.. and the girls would chase me and hurt me with their high heels.
I stood up and Mr Jones immediately eyed me, with a questioning spark in his eyes. “Sorry Sir, I forgot my book at Maths.. Can I go get it?”
“Excuse me, Jaejoong. But I thought I said we wouldn't speak Korean during English class.”
Crap! I remembered Mr Jones only speaks English in class. Why did I have to be such a sucker in English. “I err... I … Notebook... Err lost?”
I saw Yoochun slaps his forehead, of course mister smart ass was a English miracle. He'd always laugh at me when I would talk English and never help me out when I needed him, like then.
“I notebook lost? What is that supposed to mean, Kim Jaejoong?” Mr Jones said, I thought he was mocking me. Of course he understood what I said before... He only wanted to enjoy my fail English. He's the devil himself.
I tried it again: “I...I My notebook.... I lost it..”
Then, surprisingly, Mr Jones nodded and told me I could leave to fetch my notebook. I was sure I had left it in Math class, so I headed over to the classroom until I heard someone calling my name in the distance.
“Kim Jaejoong?”
My whole body trembled when I heard a very familiar voice call my name. When I turned around I thought my heart would pop out of my ribcage. It was the super handsome jock, Jung Yunho, with my notebook in his left hand! I covered my mouth to prevent myself from screaming out loud. Jung Yunho.. Said my name with his mouth! I could die right there.
“You're Kim Jaejoong right? From Math class?” Again he said my name, I could cry tears of joy, he said my name twice!
I nodded my head slowly, still not recovered from my inner party. “Y-Yeah, that's me..”
The smile that appeared on Yunho's face made my heart beat even faster than before, I was scaring myself. Just the fact that I was standing in front of him, in a practically empty hall was something I dreamt off. “You left it in Math class, I thought it'd be better to bring it back to you before someone else takes it.”
“T-Thank you..” I quickly took my notebook out of his hand and pressed it against my chest. “I-I... I need to go back to class now.” I'd rather have said something like; “Thanks stud, how about we investigate that little storage room over there eh? What do you say?” But of course, I was to shy to even say something like that.
“What's the hurry, you have a hall pass right?” He asked with his low, irresistible voice. Seriously, I have to record his voice some time. Then I again have something to jerk off with.
“Y-Yeah, Yeah I got one.”
“Good.” Why did he keep smiling?! Did he want me to die, or get a boner right in front of him? “Do you have some time?” Wait, what?! Did Jung Yunho just ask me if I had time? I wanted to pinch myself to find out I wasn't dreaming or not, but I was too anxious. I nodded and he came even closer. My heart beat like crazy and I could feel that breathing become more difficult.
I didn't dare to look into his eyes, instead I focused my eyes on the ground.
“So, Jaejoong.” Yunho suddenly said, I could feel his eyes beaming on my face. “I heard you're kinda good at maths, right?”
“Err... Yes, I am..”
“Hmmm.. I have some troubles with this chapter and if I won't pass my test my father's going to get me off the soccer team.. And since you're the only guy I know who understands Mrs Lee's explanations, I was wondering if You could help me out?”
I was flabbergasted. He didn't even know me personally and he still asked me to help him study? Did he even know about me being gay? My mind was overloading with questions, and for the first time ever I stared him right into his eyes. “W-Well... Maybe..”
Yunho raised an eyebrow. “Maybe?” Then he laughed softly, the same laugh I heard when he talk to girls. Was that a good thing? “Y'know, think about it.” He almost made me melt when he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “I'll ask you again tomorrow, okay?”
“O-Okay...” My world was spinning, not only did my dream guy ask me to help him study... He touched me... Squeezed my shoulder. I'd never, ever wash the shirt I wore again.
“Then, see you tomorrow, Kim Jaejoong.” He saluted and turned around, so I could have a good view on his sexy behind.
I had to think fast, I didn't want him to walk away on me yet.... And, What I wouldn't give for a few extra seconds with him. “Ah... J-Jung Yunho! Wait!”
He turned around; surprised. “What is it?” A small grin on his face made me wonder if he already knew what I'd want to say to him.
“I.. I will.”
“You will?”
Oh my god, what did I say?! We weren't going to get married or something... Although I wouldn't mind. Quickly I recovered myself, trying to sound casual. “I'll help you... With studying.”
Yunho's face lit up and he came closer again, his hand finding my shoulder once again. This was my lucky day. “Thanks man, I owe you a lot... It's kinda selfish of me to use you to stay with the soccer team.. Thank you.” His godly thumb drew invisible circles on my arm. I nearly fainted. “Can we start today?”
“T-Today.. Sure.”
“Sweet, then wait for me at the school gate after school, we can study over at my home.” He said, the hand left my shoulder and disappeared in the pocket of his washed jeans.
“Okay...”
Then, our ways parted. And something occurred to me...
….
….
I HAD A STUDY “DATE” WITH JUNG YUNHO!
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I'm a week too late with this T____T but somehow I didn't have any drive to write this week, everything was going so slow so.. And I decided to make this a double shot XD. I hope you guys liked the first part!