Here it goes.....
Okay so i wanna let everyone know that i am new at this and i gotta get used to it.....anywayz...for teh past few months or so my life has been really messed up..It all started with a hugh fight with two of my best friends. Its really hard to explain but in teh end they both hate me. And hate is such a powerful word...so...i know that apologizing doesnt make up for what happen but i hate the fact that everyone else tries to bring it up adn thinks they can make it better...cause they cant...im so fucking tired of beign treated like shit because of what happened. I hate that when it all went down everyone was talkign shit however, it didnt matter how horrible they made me feel...oh no..all taht mattered is that i "really hurt there feeling"...Every single one of my really close friends verbally attacked me over the computer and then they sent the messages to each other and used every fucking thing i've said since against me... it really not fare caues in almost all those convo they started to talk to me and they brought up the problems and quite frankly i think they did it on purpose. The one person that meant more to me in the world my "bestest friend" doesnt even talk to me anymore and with everythign that went down it seems everything ive done to try to fixs things always backfires. FOr those of u taht knew that i twirled yah...i dont anymore...and it wasnt my choose. I was told my one of my really good friends taht...."I wasnt on teh team anymore...they decided"...now for those of u taht knew me baton meant so much to me.... being practically kicked off the team hurt so so much....ive never felt more betrayed in my life..they were suppose to be my team mates... some team huh?....its so hard to go on everyday like it was normal when i know that three of the people that i cared about so much hates me... i now that im an emotional person but the ammount of crying i ahve done in the last month is unsanitary...this is teh worst thign that could have happened...i wish for nothign more but to erase it all from my memopry but i cant cause everytime i start to try and erase it some one emails me or im's me or writes about me in there live journals...all i want to do is be able to move pass this and look forward to teh future....yah i want to fix things with my best friends but if they dont wanna fix them i cant do anything about it...so basically i avhe nothign to do but pray taht one day i can get over this and that one day i wont have to remember all teh shit i had to go though.
-tritter
-tritter