(no subject)
I'm not very good at calling people up and complaining when I'm having a crisis, but I'm having one now, and I'd like to let people know what's going on with me and why I've been lying low. Skip the cut if you don't want to read ugly medical details or navel-gazing.
I'm almost 20 weeks pregnant. The baby's fine for now, I'm fine, and the good news is that the hematoma that caused my bleeding and emergency room visit at 8 weeks seems to have disappeared.
The bad news is that I have a fibroid that grew due to the pregnancy, and now it's degenerating. This results in my experiencing episodes of horrifically painful cramping/contractions that hit randomly one to several times a day, and last about 15-30 minutes. I've never in my life experienced such pain - from a sound sleep I find myself suddenly hunched on the floor unable to stop screaming.
My experience was made worse by a lack of help from the doctor and nurses at the practice I had been going to. After the first episode, during which I was convinced that the waves of pain had to be preterm labor/miscarriage, I could only get in to see the nurse, who couldn't explain anything, and after checking that I wasn't in labor simply kept repeating that cramping is normal during pregnancy and it was probably just gas. After several days of getting nothing but the runaround from my doctor and appointments for a week or two from now, I was able to get in to see a different specialist yesterday, who was able to identify the problem immediately by ultrasound. The good news is that I've switched doctors, and will hopefully be getting much better care. The bad news is that even they said that there's really nothing they can do to help me, other than tell me to drink fluids and (as sparingly as possible) take some vicodin, and that this usually takes several weeks to run its course.
I'm ashamed to say that I'm becoming completely unmanned, for lack of a better term. After seven days of getting randomly hit by excruciating pain any time of day or night, never knowing when it will happen until it starts but always knowing that it will inevitably come again, I'm becoming a useless wreck. I weep randomly, and as evening approaches I start shaking and hyperventilating from terror because I'm exhausted and must sleep but I know that the next time I open my eyes it will be to another episode sometime in the night.
I leave the house as little as possible, because the next episode might trap me in public where I can't hide, and I've found myself unable not to curl up and scream while the contractions run their course. I'm not getting any work done on my MIT job (which thankfully I can do at home). We're supposed to be packing up everything in our house to get ready for de-leading next Monday, but I spend much of the day lying uselessly on the couch in recovery from one episode or trying to stave off the next one. My partner has to carry all the weight for both of us: he holds my hands while I curse and scream, and then he goes and packs more boxes while I curl up and cope with the aftershocks.
I find it hard to talk about, and harder still to just call people up and announce what's happening to me, which is why I've been silent on all this.
Does anyone reading this (1) know anyone else who's had fibroid degeneration during pregnancy, or (2) have suggestions and sources for non-pharmaceutical pain management techniques (like good old breathing)?
I'm almost 20 weeks pregnant. The baby's fine for now, I'm fine, and the good news is that the hematoma that caused my bleeding and emergency room visit at 8 weeks seems to have disappeared.
The bad news is that I have a fibroid that grew due to the pregnancy, and now it's degenerating. This results in my experiencing episodes of horrifically painful cramping/contractions that hit randomly one to several times a day, and last about 15-30 minutes. I've never in my life experienced such pain - from a sound sleep I find myself suddenly hunched on the floor unable to stop screaming.
My experience was made worse by a lack of help from the doctor and nurses at the practice I had been going to. After the first episode, during which I was convinced that the waves of pain had to be preterm labor/miscarriage, I could only get in to see the nurse, who couldn't explain anything, and after checking that I wasn't in labor simply kept repeating that cramping is normal during pregnancy and it was probably just gas. After several days of getting nothing but the runaround from my doctor and appointments for a week or two from now, I was able to get in to see a different specialist yesterday, who was able to identify the problem immediately by ultrasound. The good news is that I've switched doctors, and will hopefully be getting much better care. The bad news is that even they said that there's really nothing they can do to help me, other than tell me to drink fluids and (as sparingly as possible) take some vicodin, and that this usually takes several weeks to run its course.
I'm ashamed to say that I'm becoming completely unmanned, for lack of a better term. After seven days of getting randomly hit by excruciating pain any time of day or night, never knowing when it will happen until it starts but always knowing that it will inevitably come again, I'm becoming a useless wreck. I weep randomly, and as evening approaches I start shaking and hyperventilating from terror because I'm exhausted and must sleep but I know that the next time I open my eyes it will be to another episode sometime in the night.
I leave the house as little as possible, because the next episode might trap me in public where I can't hide, and I've found myself unable not to curl up and scream while the contractions run their course. I'm not getting any work done on my MIT job (which thankfully I can do at home). We're supposed to be packing up everything in our house to get ready for de-leading next Monday, but I spend much of the day lying uselessly on the couch in recovery from one episode or trying to stave off the next one. My partner has to carry all the weight for both of us: he holds my hands while I curse and scream, and then he goes and packs more boxes while I curl up and cope with the aftershocks.
I find it hard to talk about, and harder still to just call people up and announce what's happening to me, which is why I've been silent on all this.
Does anyone reading this (1) know anyone else who's had fibroid degeneration during pregnancy, or (2) have suggestions and sources for non-pharmaceutical pain management techniques (like good old breathing)?