(no subject)
I can't say I blame you.
But I wish that I could.
I'm sick of writing every song
About you.
I used to be so opinionated. I used to have so much going for me. I used to be so diverse and intelligent and I feel like it's all just leaking out of me. I feel like I've conformed. Is that what this place has done to me? I feel like a clone of every other girl I know.
Shea and I have been having this really good conversation for about an hour now. Just about everything..College, friends, change, Jake, relationships, etc. I'm so thankful to have Shea as a friend. I haven't had anyone around me in a long time to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I never have anyone around to make me think about things on a level that I can't perceive them from. Without that..I'll never understand anything. I mean, I've been crying for a good 30 minutes but I think I just need to let out some emotion.
I used to be so much deeper than I am now. I feel shallow and like I've let everything pass me by because I was selfishly trying to hold on to the things that didn't matter. I used to have so much more to say. I used to be so much better at analyzing my life, my mistakes, my happiness. I just feel like I've lost it all.
Right now I'm going to focus on school. How I do this semester will determine what I do next year. I think I need to focus on the things that are going to decide the rest of my life and not the things that make up my past. And I'm going to stop crossing out relationships without allowing them to have the chance to work. Which will inevitably give me more opportunity.
I love you.
But I wish that I could.
I'm sick of writing every song
About you.
I used to be so opinionated. I used to have so much going for me. I used to be so diverse and intelligent and I feel like it's all just leaking out of me. I feel like I've conformed. Is that what this place has done to me? I feel like a clone of every other girl I know.
Shea and I have been having this really good conversation for about an hour now. Just about everything..College, friends, change, Jake, relationships, etc. I'm so thankful to have Shea as a friend. I haven't had anyone around me in a long time to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I never have anyone around to make me think about things on a level that I can't perceive them from. Without that..I'll never understand anything. I mean, I've been crying for a good 30 minutes but I think I just need to let out some emotion.
I used to be so much deeper than I am now. I feel shallow and like I've let everything pass me by because I was selfishly trying to hold on to the things that didn't matter. I used to have so much more to say. I used to be so much better at analyzing my life, my mistakes, my happiness. I just feel like I've lost it all.
Right now I'm going to focus on school. How I do this semester will determine what I do next year. I think I need to focus on the things that are going to decide the rest of my life and not the things that make up my past. And I'm going to stop crossing out relationships without allowing them to have the chance to work. Which will inevitably give me more opportunity.
I love you.