My Journal and My FriendBots List
My journal has changed a lot over the past year and a half-ish. I'm not as open as I once was, and in some ways that makes me happy and in others it saddens me. I have fewer FriendBots now, partly because I'm less likely to add someone back just because they've added me, partly because I don't seem to notice as quickly now as I used to when someone new adds me, and partly because I'm more interested in quality over quantity and am more likely to do extensive FriendBot cuts when I feel there are too many people I'm not connecting with. (That's quality of relationships, by the way, not a comment on the quality of the people involved. That would require some sort of rating system, and I can't just go around labeling you all with numbers of carats or something. Maybe shoes? If you're a Manolo, you're definitely at the top of the list, and a Jimmy Choo is up there, too.... I think I'm getting a bit off track here.)
So. I'm probably going to be trimming my FriendBots list again soon. This isn't an "If I remove you and you don't want to be removed just tell me and I'll re-add you" message. That sort of thing bothers me a great deal. I know that in some cases, those messages are posted by people with such huge FriendBots lists that it is entirely possible that a best friend or sister or babydaddy might be removed by mistake and not noticed in the shuffle, but many times it seems more a cry for attention. "Please, tell me you'll miss me if I go away!" And, well, no. Almost all of my posts are public so if you want to continue to read them you certainly can, and I'm pretty sure I'll realize it if dawnshine or shinigumi no longer pop up on my FriendBots page. This is more to say that I added everyone who is on my FriendBots list because I thought that we would connect, or that I would read your journal regularly. Things change, though, and interests change and journals change and I have the attention span of a fly sometimes, and so connections either never form or are broken, and sometimes I find myself skimming. And I don't want to do that. I want to devote my LiveJournal time to reading and commenting on the journals that bring me joy.
That said, I don't want to be anyone's obligation, the person you keep on your friends list because you don't want to hurt my feelings or because your friend Susie is my friend and if you remove me you worry that I will have a meltdown or start a dramafest over it. I promise, I will not go all emo kid if you remove me from your friends list. If my journal isn't something that you enjoy reading, by all means, stop reading or even skimming. Read something else instead, something that makes you laugh or that makes you think or that does for you whatever it is that you're looking for.
To sum up: If we no longer have anything in common, or we don't interact the way we once did, or if for whatever reason I find myself skipping your entries, I'll be removing your journal from my FriendBots list. It isn't that you're not a Manolo, it's just that you're a peach Manolo there's nothing in my closet that matches.
So. I'm probably going to be trimming my FriendBots list again soon. This isn't an "If I remove you and you don't want to be removed just tell me and I'll re-add you" message. That sort of thing bothers me a great deal. I know that in some cases, those messages are posted by people with such huge FriendBots lists that it is entirely possible that a best friend or sister or babydaddy might be removed by mistake and not noticed in the shuffle, but many times it seems more a cry for attention. "Please, tell me you'll miss me if I go away!" And, well, no. Almost all of my posts are public so if you want to continue to read them you certainly can, and I'm pretty sure I'll realize it if dawnshine or shinigumi no longer pop up on my FriendBots page. This is more to say that I added everyone who is on my FriendBots list because I thought that we would connect, or that I would read your journal regularly. Things change, though, and interests change and journals change and I have the attention span of a fly sometimes, and so connections either never form or are broken, and sometimes I find myself skimming. And I don't want to do that. I want to devote my LiveJournal time to reading and commenting on the journals that bring me joy.
That said, I don't want to be anyone's obligation, the person you keep on your friends list because you don't want to hurt my feelings or because your friend Susie is my friend and if you remove me you worry that I will have a meltdown or start a dramafest over it. I promise, I will not go all emo kid if you remove me from your friends list. If my journal isn't something that you enjoy reading, by all means, stop reading or even skimming. Read something else instead, something that makes you laugh or that makes you think or that does for you whatever it is that you're looking for.
To sum up: If we no longer have anything in common, or we don't interact the way we once did, or if for whatever reason I find myself skipping your entries, I'll be removing your journal from my FriendBots list. It isn't that you're not a Manolo, it's just that you're a peach Manolo there's nothing in my closet that matches.