My Movie Exerience
I went to the movies yesterday. By myself. I'd never done that before. I quite liked it, though, much to my surprise. I've been thinking about it and I've realized that I probably never would have thought anything of it if it weren't for a lifetime of hearing people say in horrified whispers, "I would never go to the movies...alone!"
Why not? I am perfectly capable of enjoying a movie while parked, all by myself, on my couch. Granted, it is not socially acceptable for me to drape myself across three seats and lie there in my pajamas in the theater, but other than the fully clothed thing and the mostly upright thing and the inability to pause when I need the ladies' room thing, there's really not all that much difference.
Still, it was difficult to get those horrified whispering voices out of my head, and had it not been a squillion degrees in my apartment I'm not sure I'd have managed. There is something wrong with my air conditioner, though, and I was driven from my hot, humid swamp home and into the gloriously temperature-controlled downtown area. I can only spend so much time shopping (shut up!), and movie theaters are almost always delightfully chilly, so I decided to see You, Me and Dupree, which, despite the lack of Oxford comma, was quite good.
I was very, very early. In fact, the closing credits were still playing from the showing before mine, and the theater was empty. That was fine with me, though. That just meant I had all the air conditioning to myself. I did see the little bit after the credits (Note to anyone planning to see the movie: there's a little bit after the credits!), but it didn't give anything away. I had my pick of seats and got settled in with my Trans Fat Butter Glop of Joy and my drink, and did my best to tune out the Movie Tunes crap. I was deeply disappointed not to have trivia stuff on the screen. That's always an adventure for me. I'm blind as a bat and really should wear glasses, so I get to play the Squint 'n Guess game. Sometimes the things I guess are actually the things printed on the screen. Sometimes my guesses are far more entertaining. I like those times best.
So. There very early. Movie Tunes. Blech. The theater slowly filled, and finally the ads started. And then the previews. And then, at last, the movie.
You know what the best part of going to the movies with a friend is? Having someone to watch your Trans Fat Butter Glop of Joy when you have to go to the ladies' room, and then to tell you what you've missed when you get back. I really should have gone during the ads. Ah, well, it was in the first few minutes so I doubt I missed the whole meaning of the movie.
You know what else is good about going to the movies with a friend? You have someone to restrain you. You're more likely to refrain from saying to the children to your right, "Oh my GOD would you please shut the fuck up!" Of course, if your friend actually were to restrain you, you would not earn a round of applause from the people in the row ahead of you, and perhaps the horrid children would continue to bellow at the top of their lungs about what a hot ass Kate Hudson has. So. I suppose the lack of restraint could be either a pro or a con, depending on you point of view.
To sum up:
Why not? I am perfectly capable of enjoying a movie while parked, all by myself, on my couch. Granted, it is not socially acceptable for me to drape myself across three seats and lie there in my pajamas in the theater, but other than the fully clothed thing and the mostly upright thing and the inability to pause when I need the ladies' room thing, there's really not all that much difference.
Still, it was difficult to get those horrified whispering voices out of my head, and had it not been a squillion degrees in my apartment I'm not sure I'd have managed. There is something wrong with my air conditioner, though, and I was driven from my hot, humid swamp home and into the gloriously temperature-controlled downtown area. I can only spend so much time shopping (shut up!), and movie theaters are almost always delightfully chilly, so I decided to see You, Me and Dupree, which, despite the lack of Oxford comma, was quite good.
I was very, very early. In fact, the closing credits were still playing from the showing before mine, and the theater was empty. That was fine with me, though. That just meant I had all the air conditioning to myself. I did see the little bit after the credits (Note to anyone planning to see the movie: there's a little bit after the credits!), but it didn't give anything away. I had my pick of seats and got settled in with my Trans Fat Butter Glop of Joy and my drink, and did my best to tune out the Movie Tunes crap. I was deeply disappointed not to have trivia stuff on the screen. That's always an adventure for me. I'm blind as a bat and really should wear glasses, so I get to play the Squint 'n Guess game. Sometimes the things I guess are actually the things printed on the screen. Sometimes my guesses are far more entertaining. I like those times best.
So. There very early. Movie Tunes. Blech. The theater slowly filled, and finally the ads started. And then the previews. And then, at last, the movie.
You know what the best part of going to the movies with a friend is? Having someone to watch your Trans Fat Butter Glop of Joy when you have to go to the ladies' room, and then to tell you what you've missed when you get back. I really should have gone during the ads. Ah, well, it was in the first few minutes so I doubt I missed the whole meaning of the movie.
You know what else is good about going to the movies with a friend? You have someone to restrain you. You're more likely to refrain from saying to the children to your right, "Oh my GOD would you please shut the fuck up!" Of course, if your friend actually were to restrain you, you would not earn a round of applause from the people in the row ahead of you, and perhaps the horrid children would continue to bellow at the top of their lungs about what a hot ass Kate Hudson has. So. I suppose the lack of restraint could be either a pro or a con, depending on you point of view.
To sum up:
- Going to the movies alone was not a horrifying experience, but rather quite enjoyable and something I am likely to repeat.
- Trans Fat Butter Glop of Joy. I may have burned out on it, though. I know! How does that happen? And yet I believe it has.
- You, Me and Dupree needs a comma after "Me." It is, however, still very entertaining.
- I cannot be trusted not to bitch at chattery teenagers. They are the human equivalent of the little yippy dogs my father hates so much, and they fill me with The Rage.
- I swear like a sailor and am actually quite proud of myself for holding back as much as I did.
- I must admit, though, that I'd have flung heavy things at them had I had heavy things to fling.