A HUGE THING! Ha
Peter Jennings died. Everyone already knows. I dont know why that makes me so sad, he was just an average man, but I dont like the fact that famous people aren't invincible and lead singers of favorite bands and anchormen and news casters get cancer. F cancer. Anyhow, there's this song called funeral masses or Kevin Jennings or something. I dont know the exact title, but everytime it comes on, I always think, "who is Kevin Jennings???!?!" and then I continue to think about it, "is that the news guy?? oh wait, thats Peter Jennings... ohhhh." and well, I have alot of music, so this opportunity doesnt happen to often, but coincidentally, the some came on yesterday while I was showering. [I go through some very philosophical thought processes while in the shower.] I started to go through the same routine of "Who is Kevin Jennings" and I started to think, who would write a song about anchorman Kevin Jennings being dead?? Oh, thats right, its Peter!! I dont know if It's just me that finds this to be completely strange, but the fact that I thought about Peter Jennings being dead, the day he died, is kind of odd. It's not like I think about good ol' Peter more than once every 6 monthes. Hmm.
I really need a new job. I think I might apply at Target since Ruth got a job there and it pays well, I am sick of fast food. I am sick of food, in general. I cant get a job with clothes becuase I hate clothes, and I cant get a job with paperwork becuase I write weird. The only jobs I can get include: Waitressing, Answering phones although I despise it, Cashier at a place like Target, Being a hostess, or an internship somewhere cool.. like a studio. Not even an internship. It would be sweet to work at some place like focal point and learn about things, and help and just be around. I guess.
I am finally over the fact that "myspace is soooo dumb >:-O!!" It's not, really. I like it, except for when I go check it and nothing is new. That's always a let down. Kind of like checking your email and finding you have no comments. I comment on everyones, usually. Unless you update everyday and it's hard for me to find something to say all the time. Back to Myspace though, nobody really comments on pictures much, and those are the coolest ones to get. Maybe, maybe not, dont know. It is weird how i thrive on livejournal but have not an extreme amount of friends on myspace. I dont care about adding Joey Badass or Forbidden or Sup Bro or anyone else that we calllll recognize. Theyre all reaaaal cute though, I kind of want to add them secretly hah. I dont want to be just another person that adds them, just one of 23235234 friends.
I am finally friends with Kyle. I think I am really excited about it, hah. I think. It's basically what I have wanted for a while, I just havent been nearly ready to become friends with him. After you are in a relationship like we had, it is hard to go to being just friends and talking like normal, 'forgetting' how you used to feel. Now, I dont have to try and forget it, I just remember it and know that it is in the past and I have hope to feel that way someday soon about another very special boy. We have been talking lately, and I really enjoy his wittyness and how I feel very comfortable talking about my feelings with him. All the sudden, the golden girls theme song popped into my head. Hmm, symbolism. hahah.
F AP english. and F mythology and making an acceptance essay and a story of you, and every other thing we have to do. I am not freaking out about the diary anymore, becuase what I have written in livejournal will surely be enough.
I really wish Livejournal wasn't blocked at school. It's ridiculous that we cant comment back to people and check our email and do that kind of stuff. Restrictions are kind of pointless becuase people find ways to get around them no matter what. Stupid things, like having Morrison for a teacher, or siebarth, or one of those idiot teachers that let you roam the halls. Livejournal is a bit lighter than aimlessly roaming the halls, in my opinion.
I am excited for spirit week. Not that school has started, or any of that, but come on, making signs, field day, black shirts, 06 r hicks. Haaaahhh. I am excited for Homecoming and S.Act and all that jazz, but not excited at all for being class president! What was I thinking?! I'm such a loser, it should be someone who would do a good job. I hope I do, I dont want to let anyone down. Ah, we'll see!
Okay, so I miss last year alot when we hung out in huuuuge groups. I havent seen a million people, in a million years, and I dont think of them everyday, and I am sure they dont think of me, but when I do see a picture or two of the people I used to be around alot, I feel like a piece is missing in my life. Somewhere. There are alot of pieces though, so I'm okay.
My group of friends has gone up and down and left and right for the past two years. Hopefully senior year is going to remain stationary or constant to some extent, considering we will be 'spring-breaking' together and all.
I am really glad that my friends in 8th grade were: Sushant, Jason, Paul, BJ and Mike. I'm still friends with 4/5 of them lol although I dont see them all as much. I have been extremely close with Jason and Mike and I hope to be for the rest of the year, and hopefully through college, wherever we all end up going. I have accepted, a year early, that we will all be seperating, and that is what life is about. New expierences and opportunities, and making a new set of friends. I am glad for what I got to have in highschool and I hope that college will only be better. I guess I should probably wait a year until I say things like this, right?
My self esteem is noticibly lower than usual. Not within the past week or anything, but with the past year I think. I went through what I consider alot of stress at one time for a girl my age, and I probably shouldn't have expierenced it at all, let alone all at the same time. After that period in my life, things go up and down, and I suppose they always do. But, I do feel that I cannot get myself to feel like the confident, uncaring, and weird girl I used to be. I dont think it's that I am more mature or not as weird, either. I used to be really weird. I still am. I still cant look at unmixed sour cream, or run with gloves on. I hope that I dont become so normal. I even started caring about my nails being longer. What's with that? I gave up though, thank god. I was starting to piss Katie off, showing her my bendable nails hah. About the rest of my self esteem though, I have some serious issues with trying to get people to accept me. I find that im probably not myself all of the time, and that I am always a little too worried of being weird, or not cool, becuase I've had that problem in the past. I know what my issues are, but I dont know how to face them. I know that if someone is going to be my friend, it should be for me and not for the person they think I am. I should not be afraid to do the things I like and say stupid things without people thinking im ridiculous or dumb. I want to be myself all the time, espeically at soccer.
Soccer is a whole different story. I'm basically myself there, but sometimes I think that being such a pure little girl holds me back. Not that I think im sweet and calling myself pure chaste girl or anything hah cause it is often far from cool. But, I do consider myself a 'good girl' seeing as I have done very little that goes under the 'bad' category. Alot of my soccer team drinks, or does more sexually than me, and I am afraid that I might be thought of too much as a little kid or something, like I'm condemning them or something hah. I never think less of people for the things they do, I just choose not to do that stuff, is all. I am just worried. All the time. I need to get out of this rut.
Speaking of ruts, they remind me of ditches, and yesterday, I almost fell into a ditch while driving. I was in Bud's neigborhood, if that's what it is, and I had to turn around and I was turning into a driveway, and backing out except I almost just slid right into this ditch. I would have been so scared hah, could you imagine??! "Jasonnnn.... Come push me out of this ditch :( :(!!"
This next paragraph is just my Myspace Info. I feel it is kind of important for me to list the things I do and dont like, so I can look back at this and consider myself to be really ____ in a few years. Maybe even monthes. The following may be completely stupid and ridiculous, but it is in my Myspace profile. It's not much of a big deal, and I notice that I try to sound cool sometimes hah, but I'm sure everyone is a little guilty of this.
[My names Trista. I’m 17 and a half. I like to type fast and text message. I like to go places, anywhere. I love Ann Arbor and I love driving. I could drive alllll day. I am always worried about what people think about me, and I'm insecure, sometimes. I like school and WLW and Walled Lake and Wixom and even Commerce Township! I probably don't hate you, and I probably never will. I dont hate anyone. It's not that I like everyone, I just don't hate anyone. I'm generally, pretty darn happy. I'm not to fond of gummy bears. I like to hold hands and share special spots with the ones I care about. I love to swim, alot. Almost everyday. I play soccer but I dont know if it's my thing. It used to be a lot more fun. I miss my friends real bad. I miss Amanda, Andrew, Katie, Jaci.. even Corey!! I miss hanging out with Amanda and Andrew and being the 3rd wheel and loving it, and when WøK was sooo cool and nobody could figure out what the heck it meant. Sometimes I consider myself a confused 17 year old becuase I can never figure out what I really want. I broke my leg once, it sucked, I fell off my bike. I love bikeriding though. I love license plates and street signs. I love Ice cream and I usually eat it once a day. I love taking pictures and I love my livejournal. I also love poloroid road rallys. I love laying on the floor, right where the sun is shining through the window, like on Saturday mornings, for example. I will never smoke. I like to clean my house and other people's houses. I'm not easily embarassed, but I can easily get discouraged and upset. I am a Foxcroft girl and triple A and Kempa Clan and WøK and a million other things, haha. Oh goodness, save the acronyms.]
Things I like: [ + ] marsmellows, potatoes, lighthouses, Mongolian BBQ, Ann Arbor, my friends, chapstick, fortune cookies, bonfires, Pacman, the dentist, my cell phone, Fuse, rain, coconuts and pineapples, camping, the neracher family, holding hands, urban outfitters, the internet, music, Something Corporate, Ralph Lauren [the man], strawberry banana smoothies, talking, taking walks, finding 'spots', going out on dates, laughing, degrassi, drawing, snow, notes, talking about middle school, The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, getting letters, Livejournal, photobucket, Playstation, Gameboy, clouds, fireworks, milkshakes, CD's, ninjas [ + ]
Things I don't like: [ - ] having long nails, fish, chocolate, static in my hair, bugs, when I feel out of place somewhere, Those furry boots??, Country music, trampoleens, when people plan their future TOO far ahead, grilled cheese, casadillas, the movies, the mall, being scared, girls, cats, Cheese, most commercials [ - ]
Am I the only one that thinks the word "emo" is kind of funny?!?!? Not that its a word really, but everytime I see it, I think of weird things. Like, Elmo. Its kind of like Carl, and Tree, and House and Poker. Sara, am I right?!?!?! Hahh. I just see it all over the place "I'm so emo!" on myspaces, and then this one girls said "My friend make me take an emo picture" and for some reason that sounds sooo stragne to me. I think labels are funny, like saying someone is emo, or that music is emo. Shouldnt it just be emotional? Cause if so, then I'm down wit dat. Hah, I'm a pretty emotional girl, if you ask me. Crying is not a problem in my daily routine, unfortunately sometimes. What the heck am I even talking about. Sorry, dont even read this.
But, if you are reading this, thanks. Becuase there arent any pictures in this update. I usually add at least like 15 pictures but mabye I'll add one or something. I like when people read these things. This is a livejournal, and unlike alot of people's, I do write to be read. I like to write things that might be interesting, or maybe someone in the world will care about. If not, I'll write it to be read by myself years from now. I'm not opposed to comments that say something bad, but I dont like my feelings to be hurt, and I like to get comments that say something either way, even if it's just, "Hey how's your summer?" Who doesn't, I suppose.
Sometimes I like to swear. Not because I think I'm cool, or because I am SO ANGRY that I find it necessary, but I really dont see a point to, or not to swear. Its a word, I just dont get it. Ah well when I'm with Katie, the bad influence, I seem to express my angers much more with violent words and 'bitches' hahaa. Me and Katie have so much funnnnn.
Tonight was so stupid. I always get dressed up all nice (not in nice clothes, just .. cute? I guess?) and I plan on doing something fun. I hate going to my house when everyone fucking messes it up. Sorry excuse my language, but everyone was being ridiculously obnoxious and I dont know why people wouldn't shut the hell up. But okay, just dont come over anymore. Well I dont mean that, but I dont know why everyone wouldn't calm down. Now my parents are so mad at me, Trista stole my tootsie roll, and I am basically in trouble. I am just so mad right now about this whole thing, I hate having people over sometimes. Thank you Brad for being so freaking nice and Jason and blah blah blahhh.
Jeff and I are offically over. I mean, it's not that I'm glad or anything, becuase I am not, we are just very different, and I dont think that we were exactly right for eachother. We had our summer romance for the beginning, and now it has ended. I am not ready or willing to be in a relationship right now, with college for him, and school for me, I am already stressed.
I went to the doctors today, there's nothing wrong with my arm. I'm so mad about that!?!?!? Nothing on the Xrays, and nothing to just pull back into place. I guess it's supposed to just heal in the next 6 monthes to a year, but thats annoying. I cant lift it above my head?
Sometimes I write really long updates, and sometimes I just write alot of paragraphs, so it looks really long. NOw, is one of those times. I am in a bad mood. Cool. Goodnight.
<3Trista