Blessings

[triskellian]

Someone in the finance department of the institution I work for always finishes his phone calls with 'bless you'. I just took a message from him for an officemate, and received his blessings along with his thanks, and thus was born a poll:

Poll Blessings

Comments

[dyddgu]

I was always taught never to discount or reject a blessing; after all, even if the blessee doesn't believe in $deity, the blesser does, and it is a politeness at the very least. At the not-very-least, it's good to hedge your bets...

[triskellian]

Yes; although receiving them sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable rejecting a blessing would strike me as rather rude, unless for some reason I felt the blessing itself was rude (perhaps if it was praising something I had done unwillingly or accidentally and didn't approve of).

[bopeepsheep]

I'm not sure about that - I get very uncomfortable at people 'praying for me' (and I know too many who do, despite knowing it upsets me), and it seems quite odd to be ok with being blessed in that way. But I'm ok with sneezing-response, as it seems de-faithed somehow.

Sometimes I go and get a blessing in church, when the option is there (I was confirmed so could take communion but don't). Sometimes I do actively want to be blessed; most of the time I don't and would resent it slightly in non-sneezing contexts. Gah.

[triskellian]

and I know too many who do, despite knowing it upsets me
Yes, I wouldn't like that at all. Praying for their own ability to deal with things is one thing, but making sure you know they're praying for you even though you don't want them to is just vindictive :-(

[secretrebel]

Vindictive?!

No, it isn't! I'm also surprised that bopeepsheep is upset by being prayed for. I pray for my friends and I sometimes tell them as much - although I'm more likely to say "thinking of you" than "you'll be in my prayers". But being prayed for isn't a bad thing, it won't steal your soul for my religion and doesn't commit you to anything. And it won't hurt!

What's wrong with being prayed for?

[lanfykins]

There are some deities I don't want messing with my life?

[secretrebel]

No prayers to Set, Hades or Arawn then?

[lanfykins]

Two of those aren't even British deities!

:)

[triskellian]

Vindictive was a bit strong, sorry.

It's not the being prayed for that I was describing as vindictive, but the deliberately telling someone who they know is uncomfortable about it: "Ha ha, I know you don't like being prayed for, but I'm praying for you anyway, and you can't do anything about it!"

I'm uncomfortable (not 'unhappy', necessarily) with random people telling me they're praying for me, because I don't know how they and their religion feel about me and my lack thereof; I don't want to be prayed for as someone who needs saving by the One True God or anything of the sort, and I don't want to be prayed for by someone who tells me about it expecting me to think of it as anything other than something personal to them.

Which isn't at all to say I'm unhappy about anyone ever praying for me. I know that if you pray for me, for example, you're doing so from a position of respect for my lack of religion, and I'm receiving the knowledge from a position of respect for your non-lack of religion. (FTR, I was thinking about you when I

[secretrebel]

"Ha ha, I know you don't like being prayed for, but I'm praying for you anyway, and you can't do anything about it!"

These are the same people who believe that married woman are "legally Mrs" whatever their name preference is, right? I've honestly never met anyone who went around praying for people to piss them off. I'm now intrigued to try it. I could smile sweetly and say "I'm praying that you'll become less of a bitch, teehee".

I wonder if maybe non-religious people don't know what religious people are doing in prayer (which is really no more than holding the image of the person in their mind / holding them up to God to consider / concentrating their energies on wishing for the bets for that person) and think that it's more critical "dear lord, please save triskellian from hell by opening her mind to thy true word!"

I don't feel it's forcing your beliefs on others to pray for them or to tell them you're praying for them. Wanting to be thanked for your unsolicited prayers would be a bit out of order though.

[triskellian]

I've honestly never met anyone who went around praying for people to piss them off.
Me neither, but I was responding to bopeepsheep saying that she knew people prayed for her despite knowing it upsets her. That sounds to me pretty much like "Ha ha, I know you don't like being prayed for, but I'm praying for you anyway, and you can't do anything about it!"

[bopeepsheep]

It's circumstantial. From people whose religious beliefs I understand and do not feel oppressed by, I can accept it, although it can and often does make me feel uncomfortable unless I have asked for thoughts/vibes/support etc. If I've asked, I'm actively welcoming it, in whatever form it takes for that person (ok, maybe not blood sacrifice...)

From people who know that I do not share their beliefs and are passively or actively offensive to me as a result [too many people fit this, alas], I am bloody pissed off at their praying for me. Particularly when practical help is refused in favour of praying (even more so this week when I was told off for something I "should have asked for help with 3 years ago" when I BLOODY DID ASK AT THE TIME and got nothing but prayer in return. Thanks a lot, $PERSON!) Being told that a major personality conflict could have been resolved by third party prayer was somewhat offensive, too. People who quietly believe and support, I like. People who want to evangelise at all costs, I don't.

[secretrebel]

Everyone hates evangelists. I think that's axiomatic whatever they're evangelising for.

I think everyone else must know some really evangelical religious types whereas my most evangelical acquaintances are atheists!

The situation you describe would wind me up too:
"Excuse me, I've fallen over and I can't get up, could you give me a hand?"
"Nope. But I shall pray for you to be less clumsy in the future!"

Gah. The mind boggles.