Birthday Thoughts and weight loss meanderings
Today I turned 39, and I am not sure how I feel about this last year of my thirties. Don't get me wrong, I am not feeling down, I just feel *strange.* My father's family has a huge history of heart attacks and early death. My aunt was only 41 years old, and my father was 47. There is this huge part of me that never really thought about the future, because I never really thought I would live long enough to see old age. Retirement? What's that? As I get older, I realie that I have so much more life to live. And I realize too, that I don't have to roll over and "accept" that things are pre-ordained for me. I have a lot of fight in me left. So I am changing not just my body now, I am working on changing my attitude about life, death and what they mean to me. I am not my Aunt, and I am not my father. I am the one writing this particular chapter in my life. I have a long way to go, but I won't get anywhere without taking these first small steps, and I have to look at weight loss as a journey with health and longevity as being my destination.
I have a whole list of things I am going to do, non-food related rewards that reflect the kinds of things that I let my weight hold me back from. I am going Parasailing in July, I want to reach a weight where I can go indoor sky diving. Zip lining, running a half marathon, cross-country skiing, yep, they are all in there too. I want my life to be lived to it's fullest potential, and I want to make plans for that future that I was always afraid to touch before. And should I die young anyways, I don't want to be the one that people say "Poor girl, she didn't even try, it's a family thing, you know." I want to be the one that people say "wow, how did that happen? She was so young and healthy!"
All this said, I have lost a little bit of weight since I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type II. I have been keeping my sugars under control with diet, and I am feeling pretty good. In all, I am about 8 pounds lighter than I was when I was diagnosed a little under three months ago. And while it isn't as good as it could be, it's a darn sight better than where I was.
On two separate occasions, I had someone tell me that they can tell I have been losing weight, that they really see it in my face. It was a pleasant and unsolicited surprise. I don't tell people about my weight loss efforts, because I don't want to be "That" person for whome weight loss becomes my world. It is a small part of the larger picture of who I am.
So I am working at it... and I will keep working at it. In other small victory news, I was solidly in a size 26 pants three months ago. I pulled a pair off the rack, took them into the dressing room and tried them on. I was so dissapointed, they fit, but they were snug, where the ones I had at home fit me looser, or so I thought. I took them back off with a sigh and was trying to decide whether or not to take them, when I saw that they were a size 24. a Size (same bran and style) that I was a 26 in before. Yay!
That's about all, long post, but that is what I get for not posting for a while. I am getting dudded up to head out for my birthday dinner with some of my closest friends and loving boyfriend. Here's to life! Now I am going to go out and live it.
I have a whole list of things I am going to do, non-food related rewards that reflect the kinds of things that I let my weight hold me back from. I am going Parasailing in July, I want to reach a weight where I can go indoor sky diving. Zip lining, running a half marathon, cross-country skiing, yep, they are all in there too. I want my life to be lived to it's fullest potential, and I want to make plans for that future that I was always afraid to touch before. And should I die young anyways, I don't want to be the one that people say "Poor girl, she didn't even try, it's a family thing, you know." I want to be the one that people say "wow, how did that happen? She was so young and healthy!"
All this said, I have lost a little bit of weight since I was diagnosed with Diabetes Type II. I have been keeping my sugars under control with diet, and I am feeling pretty good. In all, I am about 8 pounds lighter than I was when I was diagnosed a little under three months ago. And while it isn't as good as it could be, it's a darn sight better than where I was.
On two separate occasions, I had someone tell me that they can tell I have been losing weight, that they really see it in my face. It was a pleasant and unsolicited surprise. I don't tell people about my weight loss efforts, because I don't want to be "That" person for whome weight loss becomes my world. It is a small part of the larger picture of who I am.
So I am working at it... and I will keep working at it. In other small victory news, I was solidly in a size 26 pants three months ago. I pulled a pair off the rack, took them into the dressing room and tried them on. I was so dissapointed, they fit, but they were snug, where the ones I had at home fit me looser, or so I thought. I took them back off with a sigh and was trying to decide whether or not to take them, when I saw that they were a size 24. a Size (same bran and style) that I was a 26 in before. Yay!
That's about all, long post, but that is what I get for not posting for a while. I am getting dudded up to head out for my birthday dinner with some of my closest friends and loving boyfriend. Here's to life! Now I am going to go out and live it.