Thoughts about food
It occured to me that I often trade one unhealthy view about food for another when I am in "diet" mode. Food used to consume my habits in an unhealthy way, and now it consumes my thoughts in what is supposed to be a healthy way, but it still drives my life. When will I eat? What shall I eat? Is it healthy? Am I staying within my calories?
I fear that I will never be able to be "normal" that person who can pick up a bite to eat without thinking about the effect it will have on my long terms weight-loss plans. I suppose I have earned that, being so distructive to my body for so long, I lived 38 years without thinking about the consequences of my actions, and I will probably never have what can be considered a normal relationship with food.
But it drives me bonkers. When I am working to lose weight, it consumes my thoughts, my conversations with other people (even non-dieters) and it really gets to me sometimes. I often feel like a recovering addict, balanced precariously between two worlds. One that is oh so seductive... live without thinking, eat what you want, don't worry about anything... and the other that seems too tough to surmount at times...don't eat that, what are you thinking? Do you know what that wil *do* to you?
Sometimes I feel like I need a break from all those voices in my head. Can't wait for the warmer weather when the choices in food become numerous, and the produce is so fresh you can hear the crisp bite before you even take it.... until then, I will just hang in there.
I fear that I will never be able to be "normal" that person who can pick up a bite to eat without thinking about the effect it will have on my long terms weight-loss plans. I suppose I have earned that, being so distructive to my body for so long, I lived 38 years without thinking about the consequences of my actions, and I will probably never have what can be considered a normal relationship with food.
But it drives me bonkers. When I am working to lose weight, it consumes my thoughts, my conversations with other people (even non-dieters) and it really gets to me sometimes. I often feel like a recovering addict, balanced precariously between two worlds. One that is oh so seductive... live without thinking, eat what you want, don't worry about anything... and the other that seems too tough to surmount at times...don't eat that, what are you thinking? Do you know what that wil *do* to you?
Sometimes I feel like I need a break from all those voices in my head. Can't wait for the warmer weather when the choices in food become numerous, and the produce is so fresh you can hear the crisp bite before you even take it.... until then, I will just hang in there.