non sequitur 002
Title: Non Sequitur
Part: Two
Fandom: Hetalia World Series
Characters: Maria Carriedo/Philippines, other assorted Nations
Genre: Romance/Crack/General Nonsense
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Everything you’d ever have to expect from my writing, I guess? This is a writing exercise, after all. Also, the author’s notes are terribly long, so I think that warrants a warning as well.
Summary: A writing exercise in which I concoct the dialogue first before adding in description. Featuring numerous pairings, from the obscure to the popular to the outright nonsensical, as well as stories that range from the serious to the random. May or may not take place in the same AU as the swiss' equity.
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Two.
RomanoPiri. College AU.
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He’s walking down the hallways there, lips pursed tightly against together, with headphones on, hands shoved in his trouser pockets in the classic “I don’t give a damn” pose. That is the way the university sees him, and it is also the way he wants to be even when a certain Corazon Juliana Carriedo, sister of a certain World History professor, shatters his solitude. She was also the girl who has harbored the most embarrassing little-girl crush on a certain Italian ever since he accidentally landed on top of her in their kindergarten intramurals.
So naturally, that would make it clear why Lovino Vargas, physics major and all-around master of not giving people damns, would want Corazon Carriedo away from his person. Immediately.
“Please, please, Romano?” the girl has the gall to almost purr, looking at him from around his ears with large green baby-doll eyes that would have forced any lesser man to secede and follow her wishes.
Unfortunately, though, Lovino is not that lesser man. “Read between my damned lips, Carriedo - like I’ve been telling you for a long time now, no.”
“But Lovi!” She lets go, finally noticing that pressing her body against the befuddled Italian’s is not helping matters. Still, she leaves an arm around Lovino’s shoulder. “I’m positive you’ll have so much fun coming with us!!! Pretty, pretty please?”
“Carriedo, I’m a man. Not ‘pretty’, in any sense of the word.”
“You are pretty in one sense of the word!” Corazon pushes up black-rimmed glasses in a way that definitely should not be attractive. “You see, ‘pretty’ comes from the Old English word ‘prættig’, which means ‘cunning’ or ‘crafty’, coming from a West Germanic word meaning ‘trick’…”
Seeing another know-it-all explanation in his not-so-distant future, Lovino decides to nip it at the bud. “A BSED with a Social Science major. That’s what you are, Carriedo; you’re not a BSED - English major. You’re too Spanish for that.” The songs in his music player have long since run out, but the Italian insists on not taking the headphones off. It would only coerce the woman to talk even more, and Lovino would like to be able to pretend not to hear her.
“’Too Spanish’, he says. Told you you’re a pretty little darling, always have and always will be.” Corazon flutters her eyelashes at him, blowing him a kiss which he evades. “Anyway, are you suuuure you’re not coming? My dearest sister-niece’s coming along, too. I know you like her, cranky little tomatilla.”
He freezes, but admirably tries to not let it show. No mistakes, Vargas, no slip-ups. You are not going to have this conversation. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Carriedo. Now leave.”
“Oh, but you know who I am talking about, Lovi,” she does this condescending little eyebrow-waggle that should look so stupid but arguably isn’t, sidles up against him as if whispering, but her voice is loud enough for everyone to hear. “Maria.”
Lovino’s blood has been freezing for a full ten seconds when he suddenly hears a very familiar voice say “Ah, were you calling me, tita?”
“Maria, mi hermana!” Corazon finally releases Lovino, whose mind and body were both still weary from the impact. On the other hand, the Spanish woman had been holding the younger girl in a tight grasp, hugging and spinning her around as if they were both three years old. “How many times did I have to tell you; it’s not tita, it’s ate! Calling me tita, just when everyone else can hear…you’re making me feel so old. It’s Mama and Papa’s fault for being too lovey-dovey and having me a year after your parents married, I swear.”
“Sige, sige, I’ll call you Ate, so please don’t squeeze me like that again, pwede?” Prying herself off of her over-exuberant aunt, Maria Carriedo recognizes the man in front of her, giving him a warm smile. “Ah, ikaw pala. Hello, Lovino.”
He was still rooted firmly in the place where Corazon has left him, just like he always had been every time he crosses paths with the younger Carriedo woman. She pronounces his name a bit different from how everyone else calls him - sometimes, she pronounces the second syllable like a B, throws all the stress of her tone in the last syllable. He wants to tell himself that thinking about her voice too much is a side effect of probably having bumped into too many corners as a baby, and wants to ignore the smug ‘I told you so’ smirk Corazon is most probably throwing him over those nonsensical spectacles. Why did she even wear them anyway? Girl isn’t even shortsighted.
“…hello.” He says finally, and when her smile grows wider Lovino has to remind himself to start breathing again.
“So I was telling this party-pooper to come with me and you to the amusement park!” The Spaniard starts, hands gesturing to random directions, apparently sketching out a blueprint of said amusement park. “Since we didn’t get to celebrate your birthday, aside from the long, boring formal party my Papa and your Papa had us attend, si? There’s this big, scary roller coaster, an awesome haunted house, and tons of ferris wheels - you like ferris wheels, don’t you, ‘Ria? Come with us, I’ll treat you!”
Maria raises an eyebrow. “Ay, you only want me there so I can stop the two of you from killing each other, no?”
“No no no! I want you there because you’re mi hermana preciosa, and I want you there, just, please? I invited Lovi, but I just know he’s going to be all stoic and cursing and scaring all the children away, all ‘damn it, Carriedo, why did you make me go into the haunted house when I’m scared of ghosts!’”
Lovino has been staying silent, but decides to regain what would seem to be an ounce of his dignity. “Carriedo, I would have you know that I am not scared of ghosts - “
“- but you are,” Corazon cuts him off, the ‘duh’ unspoken but firmly understood. “Don’t lie to us. Maria especially; she can smell out lies like a bloodhound. But she just won’t tell you she knows.” She wraps her arms around the smaller girl, resembling how she had pounced on Romano earlier. “She’s just that nice.”
“I will be nice, ate, but I cannot go with the both of you. There’s no one left at home that day, so I do have to take care of Clarita nga e…” At the mention of the youngest Carriedo, Corazon’s eyes softened and she released Maria from her grasp, as if accepting defeat. Maria tries to make a little chuckle, and Lovino swallows. The way the pair acted when Maria’s youngest sister was brought up into any conversation was beyond odd, but he decides to say nothing about it. After composing herself for what seemed to be an endless minute, Maria apparently seems to re-charge and smiles again.
“So, just enjoy the rides for me, and make sure to still be alive when you come back, ha? I don’t want to spend the rest of Economics with two empty seats beside me; I am going to miss our banter terribly. So when you have the sudden urge to throw one another off the ferris wheel or strangle each other, please hesitate for me, a?” She winks at Lovino, as if sharing an inside joke. “Lalo ka na, Lovino. I know ate’s a lot to handle, but if you can handle being friends with her I’m sure you can handle spending a day in an amusement park with her. You like her enough naman, no? So I know the two of you’ll be okay.”
“I like you enough, yes.” he says simply, and there is just enough cheekiness in that statement for it to be another one of their inside jokes that Corazon is not privy to, covering up the sincerity behind the statement. “So I guess I’ll keep myself in check, then.”
“Okay then, ate?”
“I won’t wring his pretty little neck until he gives me any reason to.” Corazon smiles at her, then at you, and it’s all teeth teeth teeth and she knows you’re falling into a trap, she knows you have just slipped so badly. This isn’t supposed to happen. No slip-ups, Vargas. “Also, didn’t you have an appointment with Zwingli today? Something about dissolution?”
“Oh, right. Probably shouldn’t keep him waiting…mamaya na, ha, ate Corazon, Lovino.” She hurries off, books in hand, and they both wave at her. They are silent for a few moments after, until Corazon whispers to him and says “I told you so” like he knew she would, before going away as well, humming to herself.
Honestly, between that, Zwingli being Maria’s damned tutor, and his own confusing feelings, Lovino isn’t quite sure what he has to do. But as long as she’s there and having classes with him, it’s all right. For now. Because she’s a proton and he’s an electron, and he knows, surer than he knows himself, that opposites attract.
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A/N: I think I like this AU. I really, really like this AU. Right now, in my mind, it’s sort of the prequel to the AustriaPiri that I am supposed to be writing now, wth self?, but also sort of not; I see this as my own personal mental dating sim, with an endless number of endings. I haven’t worked out most of the courses yet, but for those who actually have courses:
Vash is taking up Bachelor of Science in Accountancy. Of course, this is actually my real-life course, so I know more about this course than the other courses which may or may not be mentioned in this AU. Or, at least, I know how PUP Taguig does it.
Maria is a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration - Marketing Management major. AFAIK, this is one of the two Management courses in my present alma mater - MM and HRM, I guess? Since Maria seems to be leaning more on the businesswoman side of things, she’s taking up MM. She’s also in the same accounting class as Vash despite being of another course because of a page from my own family history: my mom and dad took up Accounting and Business majors respectively, and met due to having one subject together.
Right now, I can totally see Maria as the irregular student, shifting from pre-med to Business because her overprotective papa wants her in the school where he’s teaching and not in some med school far away. But then again, I can also see Vash having to move to his current school after having stopped for one sem because of…reasons, and quickly catching up with the rest of the class until he keeps getting those line-of-one grade! So yeah, until I finalize how this set-up goes, both assumptions would be fine for me.
Lovino is a BS in Physics minor in Economics. PUP Taguig doesn’t exactly have a Physics major, and I just knew that Romano had to be a Physics major, from when I read the absolutely sweet Spamano fanfic 32 Thursdays. So this course actually comes from La Salle, and yes, that Economics minor is actually there as an excuse to have him be in a class with Maria (if ever she does turn out to be the irreg student), but I don’t think it works that way…
Corazon is a Bachelor of Science in Education - Social Studies major. Another course from PUP Taguig; I honestly do not know how it works, but for me, Corazon is a teacher (following in the footsteps of her big brother Antonio!), and while it would be terribly ironic for me to put her in the BSED - English major, I just thought that Social Studies would fit her more. From the Social Studies classes I’ve been in, she could further her studies and specialize in History, Economics, Psychology, Sociology, Logic, and a whole lot of other social studies.
(Also, Corazon's second name is Juliana because in Spain, you apparently get a second name according to the Saint on your birthday, said my copy of Kiss, Hug and Shake Hands. And according to the little research I've done, two Saints on February 12 were named Julian, so I rolled with it. >_>)
This amusement park-invitation thing is actually culled from a real-life experience, only with the foundation kept and everything else switched around. In my situation, I have two friends who are always bickering, and are generally seen by the entire class as having feelings for each other. The two of them invited me to go to the amusement park with them, and they keep telling me they’ll treat me…but I told them I don’t want to stay far from Hunter. Right now, they’re saving up for the aforementioned trip, and hopefully they’ve given up on the chance of me coming with them… (Also, our class now says that the two are husband and wife, and that I am their daughter. A weird thought, that.) Some of Maria’s lines come from what I told them when they invited me, to be specific, the line “Ay, you only want me there so I can stop the two of you from killing each other, no?” is what I actually told them. They both said “yes”. (I think I believe them.)
Also, a note that was supposed to be for the fic that came before this one (and shall be added to it as well!): notice Maria’s WBC pen-name? It’s a stealthy real-life ref that can refer to SwissPiri. I misspelled it at first, but I edited it just now - it’s supposed to be Stella Motto, from Motto Stella, which means ‘guiding star’. It’s the name of the original design of the Rizal Monument in Luneta, which was designed by Kissling. His nationality was - you guessed it - Swiss. He was also known for making a monument of William Tell, who is sort of the Swiss national hero. Did you know that Rizal actually translated the stories about William Tell to Tagalog, in order to let the Filipinos know about the Europeans’ love for independence?