Your Questions Answered.
I know I posted an ambiguous post the other night. I'm here to clarify.
Steven and I are getting divorced. I didn't want this, and I never thought it would come down to it. The reasons are numerous, but I figured you would all want the short, short version.
After Steven and I went on our honeymoon, shit hit the fan. He had just started a new job, which he wasn't making any commission at and his draw was a considerable pay cut from Mills Music. I had over 40 piano students, 35 of which decided during my honeymoon to take numerous vacations and not tell me about it until I got back. In effect, I went from making 3K a month to $700. Enter the 4-job phase of my life.
After that, I worked 3-jobs up until January, where I went to full time at Gamestop and still taught full time.
During this time, I hardly ever saw Steven, and every time I did, it was when I crawled into and out of bed. We were broke and unhappy, and for many reasons I felt unsatisfied with our relationship. Every time I saw him, all we talked about was money and what he wanted to buy. All I talked about was how much homework I had, how much my students were irritating me, and how many hours I had to put into work.
Then something snapped. Steven told me that volunteering at Planned Parenthood (a nursing school requirement) and going to school did not count as hours worked. We were fighting about chores...I was upset that he didn't do any chores EVER on his two days off, and that he expected me to do it when I was gone for 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, plus homework. So, he was essentially saying it didn't matter how much more I worked than him, I still needed to put in more hours at home. He asked me if I wanted a "fucking parade" for going to work everyday.....
Also, I blew out a tire on my car. I drove 60 or so miles a day on a spare for 2 months. Steven didn't want to buy me new tires because it was my car, not his. Funny...I spent all my money paying his bills and he didn't want to spend "our" money on "our" car, which he is on the title for anyway.
Then, the final straw. Steven went away to New York for work for 5 days. While he was gone, he called me 2 times. 2 TIMES! He said he was busy, but when he got back he told me about partying after work every day and going out to breakfast and lunch in the morning and afternoon. He couldn't have called me then? I cried myself to sleep every night because I thought my husband didn't love me after I had left him 10 voicemails begging him to please call me.
So I felt like I wasn't loved or appreciated. And so I found someone who I felt cared and didn't say shitty things to me, and I cheated on my husband.
I'm not saying I was justified, and I'm not saying I was right. I was just trying to find someone who could be there for me, supported my priorities, and showed that they cared. Obviously, I should have left Steven if I felt the need to find someone else. I guess I felt like if I waited around long enough, everything would change. And it didn't. On suspicion, he started hacking my email and myspace accounts, and writing letters to my friends. He called my parents, some of my friends, and my work, trying to make sure I always was where I said I would be. He had a right to be suspicious, obviously, but his obsession with watching my every move pissed me off and made me feel stalked.
This other person has always been there. He has been my friend when all of my other friends were away at school, and he is a great listener. He didn't take advantage of me because I am young, naive, or whatever, and he never tried to break Steven and I up so he could be with me. He was simply there in ways that Steven never has been, and I have never been treated better by a guy in my entire life.
Steven told his entire family that I cheated on him. Before that he told me he loved me. And when I say entire, I mean ENTIRE. Everyone said that Steven deserved better than me, everything happens for a reason, and that they would never forgive him for getting back together with me. He wanted me to stay home last night, so I did. He took my car (we sold his) and went and stayed at his parents. Then, this morning, he told me to get out of my own house and that I was a cunt and a fucking whore. THEN he told me that his ex-girlfriend had offered to have sex with him to make him feel better, the same ex that tried to break us up in the fucking first place. Nice. Steven just called me and told me that he loved me again.
I don't know what to do, or where to begin. I'm not interested in having a serious relationship with this other person, but the fact is, he is a great friend of mine. I would have to give up my friendship with this person to give Steven and I another chance...which may or may not work....isn't 4 years enough of a chance?
So I admit I was wrong. Someone please tell me what to do....I need some advice.
Steven and I are getting divorced. I didn't want this, and I never thought it would come down to it. The reasons are numerous, but I figured you would all want the short, short version.
After Steven and I went on our honeymoon, shit hit the fan. He had just started a new job, which he wasn't making any commission at and his draw was a considerable pay cut from Mills Music. I had over 40 piano students, 35 of which decided during my honeymoon to take numerous vacations and not tell me about it until I got back. In effect, I went from making 3K a month to $700. Enter the 4-job phase of my life.
After that, I worked 3-jobs up until January, where I went to full time at Gamestop and still taught full time.
During this time, I hardly ever saw Steven, and every time I did, it was when I crawled into and out of bed. We were broke and unhappy, and for many reasons I felt unsatisfied with our relationship. Every time I saw him, all we talked about was money and what he wanted to buy. All I talked about was how much homework I had, how much my students were irritating me, and how many hours I had to put into work.
Then something snapped. Steven told me that volunteering at Planned Parenthood (a nursing school requirement) and going to school did not count as hours worked. We were fighting about chores...I was upset that he didn't do any chores EVER on his two days off, and that he expected me to do it when I was gone for 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, plus homework. So, he was essentially saying it didn't matter how much more I worked than him, I still needed to put in more hours at home. He asked me if I wanted a "fucking parade" for going to work everyday.....
Also, I blew out a tire on my car. I drove 60 or so miles a day on a spare for 2 months. Steven didn't want to buy me new tires because it was my car, not his. Funny...I spent all my money paying his bills and he didn't want to spend "our" money on "our" car, which he is on the title for anyway.
Then, the final straw. Steven went away to New York for work for 5 days. While he was gone, he called me 2 times. 2 TIMES! He said he was busy, but when he got back he told me about partying after work every day and going out to breakfast and lunch in the morning and afternoon. He couldn't have called me then? I cried myself to sleep every night because I thought my husband didn't love me after I had left him 10 voicemails begging him to please call me.
So I felt like I wasn't loved or appreciated. And so I found someone who I felt cared and didn't say shitty things to me, and I cheated on my husband.
I'm not saying I was justified, and I'm not saying I was right. I was just trying to find someone who could be there for me, supported my priorities, and showed that they cared. Obviously, I should have left Steven if I felt the need to find someone else. I guess I felt like if I waited around long enough, everything would change. And it didn't. On suspicion, he started hacking my email and myspace accounts, and writing letters to my friends. He called my parents, some of my friends, and my work, trying to make sure I always was where I said I would be. He had a right to be suspicious, obviously, but his obsession with watching my every move pissed me off and made me feel stalked.
This other person has always been there. He has been my friend when all of my other friends were away at school, and he is a great listener. He didn't take advantage of me because I am young, naive, or whatever, and he never tried to break Steven and I up so he could be with me. He was simply there in ways that Steven never has been, and I have never been treated better by a guy in my entire life.
Steven told his entire family that I cheated on him. Before that he told me he loved me. And when I say entire, I mean ENTIRE. Everyone said that Steven deserved better than me, everything happens for a reason, and that they would never forgive him for getting back together with me. He wanted me to stay home last night, so I did. He took my car (we sold his) and went and stayed at his parents. Then, this morning, he told me to get out of my own house and that I was a cunt and a fucking whore. THEN he told me that his ex-girlfriend had offered to have sex with him to make him feel better, the same ex that tried to break us up in the fucking first place. Nice. Steven just called me and told me that he loved me again.
I don't know what to do, or where to begin. I'm not interested in having a serious relationship with this other person, but the fact is, he is a great friend of mine. I would have to give up my friendship with this person to give Steven and I another chance...which may or may not work....isn't 4 years enough of a chance?
So I admit I was wrong. Someone please tell me what to do....I need some advice.