So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
I am through with dating and kissing boys and male attention. This isn't entirely true, because all the attention has been from boys. Immature, inexperienced boys, who I had more hope in, but in the end, I am empty handed. I wouldn't mind a real man, but that may have to wait. I am done with boys my age, a little younger, and a little older. Seriously. I am strong and independent though, and none of this has really upset me, or pushed me to believe that I will never be loved again. That is just dramatic and silly. In fact, I know I will be loved again, but it will be from someone I want, who I will love back.I am not even looking for love at this point, and for sure not with anyone I have dated this past month. Though what's good is, for once I didn't put my heart into things, and it's actually better this way, but I am afraid others have, and I have to be ok with telling them it won't become a reality. That sounds so harsh, but I need alone time. I need to be single, and be at home, and not go out, and not attempt sex with boys that lie about being experienced. At least I know what I want, but I am afraid the people I meet just don't get it.
I am still quite fond of someone I haven't seen in a long time, and no it isn't my ex boyfriend, and yes it is much too complicated to discuss here. I enjoy being cryptic far too much sometimes. And it's not that I even want to have sex with this person, or date this person, but when I am with this person, everything is amazing and silly, and I miss it. Soon, soon.
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Yesterday I went to the fabric store with Cindy. We got her fabric to make amazing pillows, and bright, satin ribbon to finish my dress for the wedding. We trimmed the tulle, and sewed on a beautiful bow. I don't have pictures yet, but trust me when I say it's amazing. Instead of buying a new dress, we just altered my favorite polka dot dress and that only cost less than $4! I also found fabric that reminded me of these:
So, naturally I bought 2 yards for $4 and will attempt to find some use for it. I may cover some pillows, cover my couch, frame a piece of it, or admire it from afar.
I am beyond tired. I need to do laundry and call Dan about picking me up for the wedding. I also need to pay my rent and grocery shop.
I am still quite fond of someone I haven't seen in a long time, and no it isn't my ex boyfriend, and yes it is much too complicated to discuss here. I enjoy being cryptic far too much sometimes. And it's not that I even want to have sex with this person, or date this person, but when I am with this person, everything is amazing and silly, and I miss it. Soon, soon.
**********************
Yesterday I went to the fabric store with Cindy. We got her fabric to make amazing pillows, and bright, satin ribbon to finish my dress for the wedding. We trimmed the tulle, and sewed on a beautiful bow. I don't have pictures yet, but trust me when I say it's amazing. Instead of buying a new dress, we just altered my favorite polka dot dress and that only cost less than $4! I also found fabric that reminded me of these:
So, naturally I bought 2 yards for $4 and will attempt to find some use for it. I may cover some pillows, cover my couch, frame a piece of it, or admire it from afar.
I am beyond tired. I need to do laundry and call Dan about picking me up for the wedding. I also need to pay my rent and grocery shop.