i hate... and forgive....
list of people i temporarily hate:
my mom
steve
norm constantine
mary visher
hate is never okay except when you don't act on it.... and when it is.... my mom is being a crazy bitch. yelling at me for everything. making me feel like i can't do anything right. and im selfish. woot. ya she's great.
steve- we know why i hate him.
norm and mary- calling my shrinks is not okay and is a violation of my privacy. hell- the fact that i go to therapy is priveleged info- that you all already knew. i wonder how they got their names. so not okay.
i want my dad to be okay. i am trying to write an essay and i just can't- i just start crying.i havn't had a good conversation with him for a long time.i don't know how long, but too damn long.
i hate my living situation. i love heidi but her house is not home and only seeing my dad for ten or fifteen minutes a day is not allright. my presence in this house makes me and him feel better. my home doesnt feel like a home right now. i guess school is home. unlike a couple months ago, i know i have people who care about me there. i want to run away to school and sleep on the picnic bench outside the library. so if i do ever run away, im probably there. i miss singing with my dad.
i had a breakdown this morning and my mom instead of hugging me like would have been right, she yelled at me for like two hours about how im selfish and how i have to keep living. i hate hearing that. she is right but the fact that she regurgitates what heidi says pisses me off. she doesn't listen to me and she thinks that everything i do is to piss her off.
i would like to collapse in a heap and just sleep forever. the fact is tho that i would eventually one day get up a lot wiser, and hike off into the horizon... or rather go to school.my mom is expected to sleep all day, but i can't sleep all day, because its not ok for me to be sad. i hate this. i hate my life.
i miss my puppy.... i am gonna try to convince heidi to let me keep her at her house. i don't know how im gonna do that.probably what will happen is that loni will come back here and ill still be living at heidi's and my mom will get really close to her, and she'll love loni more than she loves me, just like she loves whoopie.
i now forgive everyone im mad at, because life is about forgiveness. if everyone else would learn that, the world would be a whole lot better off.
my mom
steve
norm constantine
mary visher
hate is never okay except when you don't act on it.... and when it is.... my mom is being a crazy bitch. yelling at me for everything. making me feel like i can't do anything right. and im selfish. woot. ya she's great.
steve- we know why i hate him.
norm and mary- calling my shrinks is not okay and is a violation of my privacy. hell- the fact that i go to therapy is priveleged info- that you all already knew. i wonder how they got their names. so not okay.
i want my dad to be okay. i am trying to write an essay and i just can't- i just start crying.i havn't had a good conversation with him for a long time.i don't know how long, but too damn long.
i hate my living situation. i love heidi but her house is not home and only seeing my dad for ten or fifteen minutes a day is not allright. my presence in this house makes me and him feel better. my home doesnt feel like a home right now. i guess school is home. unlike a couple months ago, i know i have people who care about me there. i want to run away to school and sleep on the picnic bench outside the library. so if i do ever run away, im probably there. i miss singing with my dad.
i had a breakdown this morning and my mom instead of hugging me like would have been right, she yelled at me for like two hours about how im selfish and how i have to keep living. i hate hearing that. she is right but the fact that she regurgitates what heidi says pisses me off. she doesn't listen to me and she thinks that everything i do is to piss her off.
i would like to collapse in a heap and just sleep forever. the fact is tho that i would eventually one day get up a lot wiser, and hike off into the horizon... or rather go to school.my mom is expected to sleep all day, but i can't sleep all day, because its not ok for me to be sad. i hate this. i hate my life.
i miss my puppy.... i am gonna try to convince heidi to let me keep her at her house. i don't know how im gonna do that.probably what will happen is that loni will come back here and ill still be living at heidi's and my mom will get really close to her, and she'll love loni more than she loves me, just like she loves whoopie.
i now forgive everyone im mad at, because life is about forgiveness. if everyone else would learn that, the world would be a whole lot better off.