Jul 26, 2010 09:45
"...Cause i could really use a wish right now"
Aint that the truth. Its been over 1 month now that ive been hibernating. Living again with Jill...been here long enough that its almost comfortable - even though know in the back of my mind i don't belong here. Since she moved back home staying w/ her feels like im infringing on some life, some small world i don't fit in. I like her family fine, but this constant return - in sad states of health, causes me to feel like a mangy dog you fed once and keeps coming back. As i continually realize - I need to take steps towards something different.
But chances are within a week i'll be back in a program. Not that its what I want, or even feel is necessary - at least for remaining sober. What it offers me is a place to live - and at this point that is my main concern. And seeing as how i'm broke and jobless - its rather important. But this transience of my situation, inhibits me from rectifying that. Leaving only the option of state funded living - until somehow i can get some money together, some sort of stability, and i guess a few months of hey i stayed sober...
I'm not sure what i'm doing....
All this biding time - waiting for a sign....