This is me complaining
Alright, shitty couple of days lately. I don't want to do anything with my life. It would be easier if anything meant anything. Nihilism really is kind of exhausting (ahh?? Big Lebowski reference, ahh??). I don't get it, I don't really want to be here anymore. All this stress for nothing. I guess it would be cool if i could just not feel stressed out all of the time, but i don't really know how to go about doing that...except for lots of drugs...which i'm also considering as an option.
I feel like I owe people things. WTF?! I didn't ask for this. I shouldn't owe my parents anything.
+++it is currently a couple hours after i started writing this...i've played some frisbee and been to a class in this time+++
but yeah, my parents decided to have sex. It was their choice, they knew i would be a burden to them. I shouldn't feel like i owe them my life, or my money, or my time. Perhaps it would be the nice thing to do, but i don't feel any special loving desire or obligation to give them anything more than the time of day.
I do, however, feel slightly better than when i started writing this. I'm thinking i might as well just try to help people while i have the chance. There's nothing i can do that will even come close to giving my life meaning, so i might as well do that which, in idealistic terms, should give my life meaning. maybe i'm in for a pleasant suprise when i die, and i'll get some sort of eternal reward for living well and caring about people and such...but whatev...
as for now, i'm going to shower, style my hair, get a tatoo (provided its not terribly expensive), get some cigarettes and drive around for a while listening to some cool tunes....
peace
I feel like I owe people things. WTF?! I didn't ask for this. I shouldn't owe my parents anything.
+++it is currently a couple hours after i started writing this...i've played some frisbee and been to a class in this time+++
but yeah, my parents decided to have sex. It was their choice, they knew i would be a burden to them. I shouldn't feel like i owe them my life, or my money, or my time. Perhaps it would be the nice thing to do, but i don't feel any special loving desire or obligation to give them anything more than the time of day.
I do, however, feel slightly better than when i started writing this. I'm thinking i might as well just try to help people while i have the chance. There's nothing i can do that will even come close to giving my life meaning, so i might as well do that which, in idealistic terms, should give my life meaning. maybe i'm in for a pleasant suprise when i die, and i'll get some sort of eternal reward for living well and caring about people and such...but whatev...
as for now, i'm going to shower, style my hair, get a tatoo (provided its not terribly expensive), get some cigarettes and drive around for a while listening to some cool tunes....
peace