Letting Go
..I talked to my sister last night. Now, in order to ensure i wouldn't fight with her, i never had her on my messengers, because i knew we would fight. I made a decision to let her back into my world (keep in mind i stil talked to her over the phone and stuff, just not online.) and i added her to my messenger list.
Sure enough, after a while it was smooth sailing. Until she brought up the baby. Her EX girlfriends baby. So i was just like... "yeah.. uh huh.." cuz i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so i was just passive and let her talk. Then she claims i have an attitude about it. I said, no attitude. I just don't care. And, quite frankly, i don't have to care. It's not your kid, it's your ex girlfriends. So she said that i should at least respect her feelings, But it's not like she has any respect for mine or my family's. I tell her this, and how it's always one sided with her. She demands respect but doesn't give us any.
Which turns into, some how, her bashing my mom and me defending her. So i tell her to give it up. Yes i am going to defend my mother because since YOU left i've become closer with her than anyone. She basically tells me she could care less if she ever spoke to my mom again. She loves her but she hates her. It's not right for her to do this, after all my mom has done for her since she left. Before she left, even. Nicole had a rough childhood with my mom. She was too young of a parent and she messed up a lot. But like she's told Nicole, She can only apologize so much for doing the best she could at the time. My mom still cries at night for all that happened with Nicole.
I told my mom what she said... It obviously hurt her but she just kept folding laundry. I didn't tell her to hurt her, i just wanted her to realize that maybe spending money and time and emotions on Nicole just isn't worth it anymore. And to me, it's not.
So i made a decision for myself. I'm not going to speak to my sister. She's hurt me and my mom too much, and this time it's beyond any repair. If she comes to visit i will not even acknowledge her prescense, except maybe to thank her for ruining my birthday. She is no longer my sister. I only have one sister, her name is Jen. Nicole is dead to me. I will no longer waste any time, effort, or feelings on her because honestly she isn't worth it anymore. So i'm moving on and letting go. No more tears, or high hopes. It's all done now.
Sure enough, after a while it was smooth sailing. Until she brought up the baby. Her EX girlfriends baby. So i was just like... "yeah.. uh huh.." cuz i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so i was just passive and let her talk. Then she claims i have an attitude about it. I said, no attitude. I just don't care. And, quite frankly, i don't have to care. It's not your kid, it's your ex girlfriends. So she said that i should at least respect her feelings, But it's not like she has any respect for mine or my family's. I tell her this, and how it's always one sided with her. She demands respect but doesn't give us any.
Which turns into, some how, her bashing my mom and me defending her. So i tell her to give it up. Yes i am going to defend my mother because since YOU left i've become closer with her than anyone. She basically tells me she could care less if she ever spoke to my mom again. She loves her but she hates her. It's not right for her to do this, after all my mom has done for her since she left. Before she left, even. Nicole had a rough childhood with my mom. She was too young of a parent and she messed up a lot. But like she's told Nicole, She can only apologize so much for doing the best she could at the time. My mom still cries at night for all that happened with Nicole.
I told my mom what she said... It obviously hurt her but she just kept folding laundry. I didn't tell her to hurt her, i just wanted her to realize that maybe spending money and time and emotions on Nicole just isn't worth it anymore. And to me, it's not.
So i made a decision for myself. I'm not going to speak to my sister. She's hurt me and my mom too much, and this time it's beyond any repair. If she comes to visit i will not even acknowledge her prescense, except maybe to thank her for ruining my birthday. She is no longer my sister. I only have one sister, her name is Jen. Nicole is dead to me. I will no longer waste any time, effort, or feelings on her because honestly she isn't worth it anymore. So i'm moving on and letting go. No more tears, or high hopes. It's all done now.