(no subject)
ugh I can't stay away from conflict can I?
okay first off.. Today I went to Caz around 7ish. It was fun for like the first hour and 1/2 then I got kind of bored. No one was really talking to me so I just sat there and listened to stuff on my i-pod alone in my little world. The fireworks were cool I suppose lol.
Tomorrow I might go again if I'm bored, idk..
Now...
first I just got in a conflict with someone who ditched me for other friends... It just made me feel like shit because it made me feel like they'd rather go and do something else with these people rather then do something with me...
second Val imed me the other day apologizing for ignoring me. Then I asked if I did anything wrong she kept avoiding answering it.. Now I go to im her today, she doesn't im me back and just signs offline.. Why won't this end...
third I'm pretty sure someone is growing bored of my presence... There is nothing I can do about it though.. Once again it makes me feel not wanted.. Anymore shots at my self-worth and esteem and I might go into another depressive state.. Like I had been for a while... I don't want it to happen I hate it and it affects my friends around me.. Ugh... please shoot me or something...