ARG
Well here it comes once again my bimonthly passionate incomprehensible livejournal post. I was going to sorta of write one earlier and after a recent fight I definetly have to spill it all. OK so I was talking to my friend keri woowoo and we were talking blah blah and we get towards the end of the conversation and she's like well good luck with your life (in a way like ...meh we don't talk much anymore) and so I respond I'm always the one the calls you and if you would start calling me more we'd have a better friendship. She responds by saying she calls me just as much as I call her. I had to remind her that our current conversation was initiated by me that a week ago I called her and she was like I'll call you back later (she didn't call then the next day tried to pass it off like she called when my phone was off but I caught her in the lie because I left my phone on on purpose) also about the other like 3 times she promised to call me back later and never did. You know if it was just one person that did this to me I'd be find but it seems like everyone does. Whether you like it or admit it or not jessica you did it too. I always had to start the conversation and if you dont take this as true think about that day I called you 17 time without being responded to or all the times me start sporadic mini friendships online (like 4 of the 5 times I IMed you first). Add to this all my friends tend to slowly whither because I just can't keep starting the conversation it seems almost never does anyone want to start one with me (and please don't give me a pity start conversation that'd just depress me more) and so we move on to the big topic Ameri. We've been going through the conversation of what means more words or actions. She says words. I say action. Well she also always says (and jessica you can probably sympathize with this) that I have no feelings and only care about acting so she of course cares more about me than I do her. But let us look at the evidence. There was one day where there were 3 opportunities for us to hang out but all failed because she didn't want to. Or the fact that for the past 2 months I've been a little bitch to my phone keeping it within hearing distance or on at all times so I wouldn't miss a call. ..... O wait of course she loves me more of course the person I can never get in touch with ...who falls asleep when they promised to call me back after they finished cleaning their room (leaves their phone downstairs inadvertedly where they can't here it) and sometimes even admits to ignoring my calls IGNORING MY !@#$ING CALLS WTF. And if it was just once or even like ten times I'd be overreacting to post this but it seems to me that almost every person I call friend tends to do this to me and that ...whatever...I realize I do this to others as well...blowing off certain conversations and such...but if anyone ever has the love to call me I always talk to them no matter what....I still have more issues to deal with but not in veiw of all those lovely ppl who I call my friends ....I do love you all ...I'm just !@#$ed up ....